Naruto Online: The Fanfiction Wars!
by DtecnoKira
Summary: HIATUS- What happens when Naruto characters begin writing their own fanfiction? Read and find out! But be warned, there's more to this story than that alone. Someone has emerged from the shadows to attack. Can the ninja rescue a kidnapped Hinata?
1. The Yaoi Wars

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or this website.

Warning: Spoilers (In later chapters) ...and occasional bad grammar.

There's also some "experimental humor," as well.

Oh, and some shameless advertisement of other stories.

Okay, here's how it works! The Naruto characters are writing their own fanfiction, so I'll occasionally write some stories of theirs. I'll try to make it clear when a character writes a story.

I hope this isn't too weird of a writing style.

And I just want to say, I like Yaoi, but I thought this would be a kind of funny story idea.

Edit: I deleted the links because they weren't working, just go to my favorite stories to find any stories mentioned.

………………

Naruto reread the story he had just written.

_(Naruto's Story)_

_One day Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke went on a mission, but a bad guy attacked them. A bad guy attacked them and killed Sasuke. Naruto saved Sakura from the bad guy so she said, "I love you Naruto," and they kissed. _

_The end!_

"That's a good story," Naruto said, submitting his first story to fanfiction dot net. "I wonder how many reviews I'll get!"

It was only half an hour before he got his first.

…….

BoogiepopShippuden

What the? Right, like Sasuke would die that easily. And there is no way Naruto could easily beat someone that kicked Sasuke's butt. There's zero description and no plot. Learn to write better.

……

"Shikamaru!" He called out. "Do you know how to send someone a computer virus?"

(Five days ago!)

"So you're back?" Tsunade asked Sasuke.

Naruto had finally fulfilled his promise to bring Sasuke back, and dragged a fuming Sasuke back to the village. How he managed to over power the (currently) superior warrior we shall never know for sure. Many believe it was a plot hole for the purpose of this fanfiction.

But let's not get side-tracked form the conversation.

"No, I'm not really here," Sasuke replied facetiously. "You've just had too much to drink."

"And you expect us all to welcome you back with open arms after you betrayed the village, risked your comrades' lives, and injured your teammate Naruto?"

"Do you want Konoha to go to war with my fangirls?" He asked, knowing that Tsunade would never take the chance.

"Very well, welcome back, Sasuke," she said.

At those words, Sakura enthusiastically appeared out of nowhere and hugged him half to death. "Sasuke I missed you so much," she said fangirlishly.

But this can all be skipped, right? I just needed to explain that Sasuke is back, because he was about to tell Naruto something.

……….

"WTF! Naruto, you dobe, I would never lose to some random thug, especially not one that you could beat." He angrily glared at his best friend. "Take that damn story off the internet. It's all about quality, not quantity." He growled angrily. "We'll never beat the Yaoi fans this way."

That's right; you heard it.

Our favorite ninja are at war….with Yaoi.

….

It all started two days ago when

Naruto: Great, another flashback, don't we do enough of those in the show?

Sakura: Shut up dobe!

DtecnoKira: Thank you, Sakura. Remind me to do a SasuSaku oneshot later.

……

Well, to make a long story short, our ninja had stumbled across one day and they loved it. "Hey look," said Naruto. "These people are writing stories about us."

"I see," said Sakura. "It's called fanfiction because it's fiction written by our fans."

At first, they came to love it.

Secrets From the Sky was an entertaining story indeed. It told the tale of visitors from another village. A Hyuga, an Uchiha, and a mysterious girl who…well read it! It's a good story okay! Trust me, if you have time to my piece of crap story, you have time to read this awesome story. Consequently, how do you make clicky blue links? I hope these url adresses work...but umm...moving on! Crap they don't, oh well, I'll just delete them!

"Wow, I can't wait to see what happens next," Sakura chirped excitedly. "Why would an Uchiha and a Hyuga have left Konoha?"

They also happened to stumble across some of my other favorite stories, which now gives me the awesome chance to advertise them.

Legend of the Icy Hot Ninja a story much funnier than this one telling the tale of a brand new ninja squad that was formed at the same time as Squad 7.

…….

Sasuke: You call that advertising! Let me try.

If you want a funny story, check out Spidey3000's Legend of the Icy Hot Ninja!

It's about a boy named Jack J. Williams and his teammates, who become Genin at the same time as Naruto and his friends.

With awesome humor this is one of the funnier stories out there.

Read the exciting battle between Jack's squad and the legendary warrior (Name Omitted to Avoid a Law Suit), you know you want to.

Also includes cameos from the remade Squad 7, Naruto, Sasuke, and ...Hinata?

How will the new teams affect the outcome of the chunin exams (he's not there yet, but you know you want to know.)

And now that Naruto's got Hinata for a teammate, will she suggest a team-up during the bell game?

Looks like Kakashi-sensei had better watch his ba…I mean bells!

And you know you want to see Hinata use the Gentle Fist: Castration Technique!

……

Sakura: Now enough advertising, you're going to lose all your readers.

Naruto: Like any of them made it pass the first paragraph.

DtecnoKira: Do you want me to write more SasuNaru?

Sasuke: I don't know, do you want me to Mangekyo Sharingan your ass?

……

Well, the ninja had enjoyed their time on the website until they discovered it….

"Let's see what kinds of stories we can find about _both _of you," Sakura suggested.

Naruto and Sasuke had been arguing over who to read about next, so this seemed like a simple solution. They looked for stories about the both of them. What they found was Yaoi.

"Oh my God," gasped Naruto. "No way would I ever….. what the!" He began puking on the floor.

"Tell me who to kill for this!" Growled Sasuke. 'Wait, what the hell are they calling me? Sasgay! Somebody is going to die!"

So it was decided.

"We have to write our own stories!" They agreed. And they had recruited many allies.

…….

Shino's Story

_Naruto nervously fidgeted. Why? Because he wanted to tell Hinata something important._

_Hinata blushed brightly. Why? Because she was in love with Naruto and being this close to the one she loved made her happy. Why? Because that's what love is._

…….

Yeah, most of them were pretty crappy like that.

But some were better than other's. Hinata wrote a story from her own perspective.

……

Hinata's Story--To be with You

_Breathlessly I stepped into the darkened room, searching for the faintest hint of life. I'm sure I heard something here, but I'm all alone. I have been ever since I left Konohagakure two years ago to train. I had a vow I needed to keep. I needed to prove myself worthy of the one I love._

_Naruto, the only one who knew what it felt like to be dubbed a loser._

"_Is someone there?" I call out, not knowing what answer to expect. I've lived alone here for two years, thinking only of what I have to do. I must get strong so I can be with him. He showed me the way from last place._

_He stepped up from the depths of obscurity to rise to the top. I want to be worthy of him._

_I struggled to find a light switch, I was much to tired to use the Byakugan._

"_Hinata, I've been looking everywhere for you," said a familiar voice. _

"_Is that you, Hokage-sama?" I asked, finally flicking the switch._

_I was momentarily blinded by the light that flooded the room._

"_Please don't call me that," said the Hokage. "I've come all this way to see you, no need to be so formal."_

"_I've missed you so much Naruto," I cried, sinking into his arms._

"_I missed you too," he whispered, kissing me lightly._

_I kissed him back._

...

See, they don't all suck.

But let me just say this is the just the beginning.

What stories will our heroes read?

And more importantly, what stories will they write?

…………..

TBC

So ummm please be nice.

I know it's weird.

Credit goes to kagescorpionakki for inspiring this.

Any tips to make it less…jerky?

Things to look forward to, Sasuke's story…..Sakura's SasuSaku obsession, crack fics from Gaara, and forum investigation!

Oh, and sorry, but I don't take requests for advertisements, but if you review, I may check out your story, and if you say its okay, then I'll advertise it.

Not like it will do much, I'll probably get 3 readers at most...


	2. The New Players

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or or Secrets From the Sky (Though I was asked to tell people about it.)

I don't own either.

Weird, the name of this website vanished from the above line!

Please review!

Oh and if you have the time, please check out some of the stories I've mentioned, most of them are pretty good.

And sorry but I don't know much about flowers.And sorry the links don't seem to work, check out my favorite stories section to find them! (I omitted the links this time, cause they weren't working when I tested them.)

………

Naruto read the story excitedly. "Man, I can't wait until I become a Jonin and get my own students. I hope they're as good as these kids," he told his friends.

"They'd better be with you as their sensei," scoffed Sasuke. "Otherwise you'd get them killed."

"Whatever," Naruto rolled his eyes. "I hope Tsukiyomaru updates The New Team 7 soon. I love reading about myself as a teacher. It's so fun reading these kinds of stories."

"Doesn't BoogiepopShippuden have one like that too?" Sakura asked. "How come you haven't read that one?"

"Boogiepop flamed another of his stories," Sasuke explained.

Sakura: Have you no shame advertising your own story?

DtecnoKira: Nope : ) Now shut up or I'll write a SasuKari next.

Sasuke: Chi….do…

DtecnoKira: Sheesh, fine already!

………………

Naruto's Story

"_Naruto, let's train," said Sasuke!_

"_I'm going to beat you," Naruto told him._

_Naruto beat up Sasuke and Sakura said, "Why did I ever love that loser Sasuke? You are so much cooler Naruto. And you are cuter to" She kissed him and he kissed her and they made out for a very long time and Sasuke cried because he knew that Naruto was better than him._

…….

BoogiepopShippuden

_Are you even trying? This story sucks! Give up now! You cannot write! _

……..

Naruto decided to check his e-mail. "Secrets from the Sky Chapter 2 is up!" He exclaimed excitedly. He began to read, so Sasuke and Sakura left the room to talk.

"So when are you going to write your first story?" Sakura asked.

Sasuke let out a sigh, "as soon as I figure out whom to put myself with. I was thinking an OC."

"Oh," Sakura said with a sigh. "I see."

"I would write SasuSaku," he said with a smile. "But you've got that covered." Sasuke stepped up close to Sakura, gazing into her eyes. "I read your story, it was good."

'Does this mean he actually loves me?' Wondered Sakura. 'He said he likes the pairing?'

"Or maybe I'll write NaruSasu. You two go so well together. Its one of my favorite pairings but Naruto seems to be massacring it."

Sakura hung her head low in defeat.

………….

Shikamaru smiled.

"Naruto and Lee both love Sakura, who along with Ino, is in love with Sasuke. But Hinata loves Naruto," he tried to work it out in his head. 'If I stick Sakura with Sasuke then Ino can be paired with Sai. I can have Naruto and Hinata together then I can put Lee with Tenten. No, NejiTen seems like a much cuter couple, and they have better dialogue together. So then who do I stick Lee with, there must be another girl. No, I've used them all.' His thoughts paused for a moment. "I wonder if anybody has ever paired Lee with Karin?"

It was the most difficult puzzle he had evr tried to solve, and he was loving it.

……….

Shikamaru's Story

….

….

….

………………….

'What a drag,' he thought to himself.

"Hey Shikamaru," said Ino, walking into the room. "Have you written any stories yet?" Without waiting for an answer she said, "I just wrote another one."

'I suppose she's expecting me to read it,' Shikamaru let out a small moan.

……..

Ino's Story

_Sasuke stepped into the flower shop and looked around, searching for the best flower he could find. 'These lilies are beautiful, but do they say 'I love you?' Roses are a symbol of love but are they too cliché? Do they say 'you are important to me?' _

_None of the flowers caught his eye at first until he found the perfect bouquet. 'I guess roses will have to do,' he thought with a smile, picking up the assortment of blue and yellow roses. _

_Sasuke took the flowers up to the register, and tried not to smile as he gazed upon Ino's beautiful face. 'I have to act normal,' he reminded himself._

_Ino rang up the purchase and tried to hide the pain in her heart. 'So,' she thought, 'he's buying flowers for someone. I wonder who? Not as if it matters, I just have to accept it. He chose someone else.' She forced a smile and decided to brave it and ask, "I never thought I'd see you in here buying flowers. Who are they for?" She handed Sasuke the flowers._

_He handed them right back._

"_They're for you."_

_The End_

_A/N the blue represents Sasuke and the yellow is Ino._

……………….

"Not bad," Shikamaru admitted. "But don't you think that both you and Sasuke were out of character? He's not the type to buy flowers. And you're not the type to leave him alone when you see him."

………..

Sasuke sat at the computer, wondering what to write.

_It was a cold dark, _he hit delete. 'Too cliché,' he thought.

………..

Somewhere at the shore of some random lake, hand reached up out of the water. Jiraiya pulled himself to safety. 'I have to get to a hospital,' he thought.

……….

"I'm glad to see you are feeling better, Orochimaru-sama," Kabuto said with a smile.

"Yes," said Orochimaru. "It was only thanks to your foresight that I was able to survive. I admit I was angry that you had the nerve to suggest Sasuke could beat me. Perhaps I should not have underestimated him. Now tell me more about this fanfiction you spoke of."

"People write stories about us ninja. Some create their own ninja, called OC's. Others write stories about real ninja. Characters..I mean, people like Naruto and Sasuke seem to be more popular, but there are some people who write about us."

"I see, we don't want our secrets revealed. This must be stopped," said Orochimaru.

"That's not the problem," said Kabuto.

"Then what is?" Asked Orochimaru.

"Look at this, you can do specific searches for stories about your favorite characters or look for your favorite genre."

"And what is the problem?" Asked Orochimaru, getting annoyed.

"I'll demonstrate," Kabuto said. "I'll set genre to romance and make us the two main characters."

Kabuto hit 'go.'

Orochimaru's face turned into a mild frown.

"They call it Yaoi." Kabuto explained to his master.

"Then we shall destroy this _yaoi._"

……

Sai sat at his computer, trying to write a good story. He had come up with one, but didn't have the confidence to post it yet.

……

To Be Continued

Sai's story will come as soon as I can think of a good one for him to write.

So will Kabuto and/or Orochimaru's.

I'll try to include another NaruHina, but I need tips. I don't want to do the same thing over and over again.

Oh and I won't write anymore unless Secrets from the Sky gets at least three reviews.

Sakura: Don't be a review !

Sasuke: It's not cool.

Sakura: Don't worry guys, we'll make sure he writes another chapter.

Okay, I'll write another chapter, it was just a joke, lghten up!

A/N: Why can't I mention this website without the name dissapearing?

Disclaimer: I don't own this web site.


	3. Sai is my Crack Dealer

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Puss 'n Boots or Shrek. Or Code Geass…I just watched Episode One! It rox!

Today I bring you Sai's One-shot. A short crack-fic.

If you don't like crack…how did you make it this far?

And yay, The New Team 7 by Tsukiyomaru ran an ad for this story. Yay, thank you Tsukiyomaru!

Sai: Why does my writing style look a lot like yours? Only even crappier.

DtecnoKira: 'Cause I suck!

Sakura: Please review!

…….

Sai's Oneshot!.

Warning: Spoilers!

"What am I doing here?" Demanded Gaara. "I am the Kazekage, I have to do important things like...sign paperwork."

"You are here because you make babies cry and you scare little children," Sakura explained. "So that is why Kankuro and Temari hired us. So that we could teach you how to smile and be less emo."

"What's wrong with being emo?" Whimpered Gaara. "I like being emo. Emo is fun."

"There's nothing wrong with being emo," explained Naruto. "But we can't have too many character's being emo all at once or this becomes an emo show, and we all ready have Sasuke A.K.A. the Lord of Emo!"

"My brother murdered my family," whimpered Sasuke. "Be nice to me."

"Shut up emo-boy!" Ordered Naruto. He fought the urge to slam his foot into Sasuke's crotch and bring an end to the whining. Just what you'd expect from the ninja of total randomness, the one time he exercises self-restraint is at the exact moment he should give into temptation.

"All you have to do is turn up the corners of your lips like so," explained Sakura, giving a demonstration.

"It also helps if you show your teeth," Sasuke added. "It's really not that hard."

"Oh yeah? If it's so easy, why don't I ever see you smiling?" Gaara demanded.

"I don't wanna smile," growled Sasuke.

"Neither do I," retorted Gaara.

"Well too bad, you have to!" Said Sasuke.

"Says who?" Asked Gaara angrily. He shot the Leaf ninja a collective death glare.

"Duh," said Naruto. "We all ready told you. It was your brother and sister!"

"See, even dobe remembers!" Sasuke taunted.

Naruto once more fought the urge to attack Sasuke's groin.

"Remind me to kill them later," Gaara mumbled to himself.

"Now, we're going to begin your training," Sakura said happily. She pulled a cute cat out of thin air. It bore a slight resemblance to that adorable lovable kitty we all know as Puss 'n Boots from that movie Shrek.

Yes, this kitty was _that _cute. Seriously, who does not love Puss n' Boots? That cat is uber kawaii!

What are you looking at me like that for? It's true!

She was so cute it would make Orochimaru smile.

Gaara gave it an Itachi style death glare. He held out his arm, encrusting the cat in a shell of sand. "Sand Coff..."

Sakura bonked him on the head with a large wooden mallet! "What is wrong with you?" She screamed. Tears ran down her face. She picked up the cat, caressing her lovingly. Eww no… Quit it! This will not turn into a story about bestiality! What is wrong with you people?!

"Why would you want to hurt poor Aura-chan?" Asked a crying Sakura.

Don't ask me why she named the cat Aura. There must be a reason but I have no idea.

"Teme," growled Naruto. "You made Sakura cry!" Naruto fell down on all fours, entering his two-tailed state. "I'm going to kill you!"

Gaara crapped his pants.

Help he squealed, running left and right, dodging the angry jinchurriki.

Sasuke stepped in front of Naruto, "Mangekyo Sharingan."

As any one who knows the secret will tell you, it is possible to control the kyubii with the Mangekyo (unless I missunderstood something! Things get pretty damn confusing sometimes!)

Now, when Sasuke stepped in front of Naruto, he had planned to simply tell him to stop. Then for a second he felt like going Lelouch on Naruto's ass with an "I Sasuke order you to die," command. But he toned it down to, "dance like a ballerina."

So while Naruto was busy doing the ballet, Sakura focused on the mission at hand. "Here," she said, tugging at the corners of the Kazekage's mouth.

Though the sound was a bit muffled, it was easy to understand that Gaara was saying, "I am sooooo going to kill you."

"Fine," said Sakura. "You try it! On your own! No help!"

Gaara forced a smile; it was a hideous sight to behold.

Wait, apparently that's a cliché. My computer wants me to say: Gaara forced a smile; it was a remarkable sight. Doesn't really carry the same meaning does it? Whatever.

Anyway, I'm going with the original line, sorry for getting off topic.

Gaara forced a smile; it was a hideous sight to behold.

Somewhere, a baby started to cry.

The End

……..

'It's not the best,' thought Sai. 'But it will have to do for now. Perhaps with more practice I can write a better one. Or perhaps I simply need more sugar.'

………

"Yes, Kabuto, this story will work perfectly, submit it now."

Orochimaru laughed evilly.

……..

Naruto: Hey, why don't I get any stories in this chapter?

Sakura: And when will one of my SasuSaku's show up?

DtecnoKira: Just be patient you two. Anyway, sorry this chapter sucked. I honestly wanted to write a good crack fic, but it didn't come out that great. I'll try harder next time.

Sai: Please R&R

DtecnoKira: The next chapter is already done. I'll put it up sometime soon.


	4. You Idiots Broke the Computer!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

I'm sorry Sakura's story is a bit like Hinata's. This is turning out to be harder than I thought.

Reviews would really help.

In fact I just got a new game, so I may be playing it for a while and I might lose interest in this unless you hit that review button.

Ino: Yeah right, you'll end up writing more no matter what.

DtecnoKira: Yeah, but reviews would be nice.

Anyway,

A/N: Today's chapter has Naruto and Sasuke going on a mission. Warning: There is talk of animal cruelty, but it is marked. So if you wish to avoid Naruto and Sasuke's fight with the cows, you have been warned.

If you don't like this kind of humor, let me know, and I'll avoid it in future chapters.

….

Naruto smiled, "the new chapter is up!" He shouted with glee, reading Tsukiyomaru's story.

"I wanna see," demanded Sasuke, pushing Naruto out of his seat.

"This is why sharing a computer with your two teammates sucks!" Complained Sakura.

"Rasengan!"

"Chidori!"

……..

At the Hokage's office.

"What do you mean you destroyed your computer?" Screeched the Hokage. "Don't expect me to pay for it, even if you do use it for ninja duties once in a while. You two will have to replace it yourseves."

"But we don't have enough money!" Naruto said in protest.

"Well how lucky for you two that I have a mission for you both. It's an A ranked mission."

"Yay," said Naruto. "That will mean we'll have just enough money to buy a new computer."

………..

Sakura's Drabble

_It was the night of the mission. She stood alone in the cold air, wishing she had a partner. 'I hate solo missions,' she thought. 'It's always so lonely without anyone at your side.' But it was only a C ranked mission, no problem for a Jonin like her. Tsunade-sama would have never even considered giving such a simple mission to a kunoichi as talented as her._

_However, there were no missions of vital urgency for her so the Sannin sent her former student out on the special mission. 'I'm supposed to meet the client and escort him back to the village,' the twenty-year-old kunoichi thought. 'I just wish it didn't have to be today of all days.' She walked down the empty road, whistling a sad melody._

_It was the song of her heart, broken without the one she loved._

'_This is where I'm supposed to meet him,' she thought. Sakura stepped into an empty meadow, searching for the client. 'I wonder why he needs an escort. Is he worried about random thugs? Does he have some sort of treasure he needs guarded? Maybe he's royalty?'_

"_Happy birthday, Sakura," said a familiar voice._

_Sakura spun around quickly. "Sa….su….ke," she whispered. Tears began to fall from her eyes. "Sasuke!" She cried out, pouring her emotions into her tears, running into his open arms._

"_I'm sorry," he whispered into her ear. "For everything. I'm sorry for leaving, I'm sorry for hurting you. I'm sorry for each all the birthdays I've missed. I'm sorry for every second I've spent without you."_

_She sank into his warm embrace. "I've missed you so much!" She sobbed into his chest._

"_Well I'm back now," said Sasuke. "And I'm going to stay."_

…………

Sakura smiled. "Another decent SasuSaku, she said with a smile. "I hope I get lots of reviews."

...

Naruto: Warning, the following scene involves intense violence against cows.

If you need to, skip ahead until it says

OKAY IT'S SAFE TO READ

Kakashi: I'm glad to see you finally got over your fear of cows, Sasuke-kun.

Sasuke: I am not afraid of cows! That was just a fanfiction!

(Read spidey3000's Legend of the Icy Hot Ninja for details!)

"What are you doing dobe?" Screamed Sasuke. "Do not Rasengan the cow! You will ruin the meat."

Naruto and Sasuke had been hired to kill a rare breed of cow. They were twice the size of average cows, and they tasted three times as good.

There was a problem though.

They were very deadly ninja cows.

"Wahh!" Naruto screamed, dodging the cow's fire breath. "Damn it, what do we do? We can't just shower them with kunai!"

"You kill them with precision and skill," Sasuke explained. "And by you, I mean me!" He explained, lopping a cow's head off with his sword.

This enraged one of the other cows. "Mooooooo!" He cried. Anyone fluent in cow will tell you what this translates to. But I hate the dub, so let's mock dubs and call this the Shadow Clone Jutsu, even though it is actually just a regular Clone Jutsu. What? Do you actually think a cow could learn the Shadow Clone Jutsu? Maybe if it had one the biju sealed inside it.

……

Sai: What an excellent idea for a crack fic. The Akatsuki obtain all nine biju and accidenatally seal it in a cow. I just have to find a way to write it without killing Naruto.

Naruto: Its just a crack fic! Who cares if I die! I want to read it! Can the cow kick their asses?

Sai: Yes. Coming soon. Akatsuki vs the Cow.

….

Sasuke picked out the fakes and easily shot them down with shuriken. But another cow snuck up on him and rammed him in the ass. Sasuke fell to the ground with a grunt. "You'll pay for that," he growled angrily. "Mangekyo Sharingan- Tsukuyomi.

He trapped the cow in his genjutsu world. "For the next twenty-four hours you will be flame broiled over and over so. And I like my hamburgers extra dead."

The cow collapsed, it was indeed _dead_.

Naruto on the other hand, was not having such luck with his cows. They had ganged up on him and began combining their lightning style techniques. One of them even appeared to have a kekkei genkai. "Sasuke..Help!" He called out, running away.

The two shinobi found themselves surrounded.

……

……

OKAY IT'S SAFE TO READ

"So is their client really a King?" Shizune asked.

"No, it's just a marketing strategy," she explained. She turned back to her computer. "Wow, this fanfiction stuff can be pretty good."

………

Hinata sighed. "Stupid writer's block," she moaned.

"If you need inspiration," said Kiba with a smile, "I know what always helps when I want to think of new attacks."

"What?" Hinata asked curiously.

"Sugar!"

……

Half an Hour Later

Hinata had just eaten half a bag of candy all by herself, along with seven candy bars, and two bowls of sugar. She had also consumed"Oh my God!" She exclaimed. "What is this joy I have never felt?"

…..

Sugar High Hinata's Story-Ichiraku Magick

_It was a bright sunny day in Konoha and Naruto was enjoying it to the fullest. He smiled as he sat down for a bowl of Ichiraku Ramen. "Thank you," he said as Ayame handed him the bow. He began noisily slurping the noodles down "So, how has your day been?" He asked curiously._

"_It's been fine so far!" Ayame smiled. "You're unusually inquisitive today, something good happen?"_

_Naruto smiled happily. "Well, if I tell you, you'll have to promise to keep it a secret."_

_Ayame nodded. "Of course," she told him._

"_I have a secret admirer." He said. "Someone left a batch of fresh baked cookies on my doorstep with a note-to the future Sixth Hokage, with love-your secret admirer."_

"_So who do you think it was?" Ayame asked._

"_No idea," Naruto said with a smile. "But I intend to find out."_

_It was at this time that Sakura sat next to him, ordering a bowl of ramen for herself._

"_Guess what, Sakura-chan." Ayame smiled mischievously. "Naruto has a secret admirer."_

"_You weren't supposed to tell," said Naruto, pouting._

"_Oh really?" Sakura asked. "Did she leave him a note?" She was enjoying the chance to tease her partner._

"_With cookies," answered Ayame._

"_Oh, with cookies," teased Sakura. "She must really love you."_

_Getting over the initial embarrassment of the matter, Naruto asked, "Who do you think it is?"He asked._

"_Duh," said Sakura. "It was obviously Hinata-chan. She's had a crush on you ever since she's known you."_

"_Really?" Asked Naruto, finding the whole thing difficult to believe._

_Hinata joined them next. "Hello Naruto-kun," she said shyly._

"_Thanks for the cookies," he said to her, wanting to see her reaction._

"_You're welcome," Hinata answered, not realizing, her mistake._

"_So it was you!" Naruto said with a smile on his face._

_Hinata began to blush furiously. "Umm I.."_

"_Don't hide it, you just admitted to it," he said, gazing into her eyes._

"_I..I..I.." she stuttered._

"_Do you love me?" He asked._

"_Whaaaa?"_

"_Do you love me."_

_She nodded, unable to form words._

_Naruto kissed her gently._

…………..

"Not bad," said Kiba, but Naruto is a little out of character."

"Who cares?" Squealed Hinata. "NaruHina forever!"

…………….

'This is...this is disgusting,' thought Tsunade, reading a fanfiction she never should have. She had no idea that the one who wrote it was her fellow Sannin, Orochimaru.

Please R&R

And vote in my poll if you have the time!

Edit: A/N Sorry for the confusion, but Sasuke and Naruto's fight against the cow was not a faux fanfiction. They went on a mission to earn money to repair the broken computer. : )


	5. The Legend of Tenten: Neji's Fairy Tale

It is very noisy, sorry if I missed some typos in this and the next few chapters.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto…or any of the concepts of the fairy tale, its just a jumbled mess.

Sorry for the confusion, the cow thing in the last chapter was NOT a faux fanfiction. Sasuke and Naruto went on a mission so they could replace their computer.

Unless a story takes up most of the chapter, it will be in _italics._ Hope that clears up the confusion.

Just a friendly warning, the story I have planned becomes more and more of a crack fic in later chapters. (Not like it isn't alreadya crack fic!) I just wanted to warn you all to expect some major weirdness. There will be crossovers with other shows too.

Today I bring you Neji's Story!

PS, pick your own ages for the characters in this fairy-tale!

Enjoy! (Don't forget to REVIEW!) Please!

Hope it doesn't come out too long.

Okay, sorry this chapter kind of sucks. The next one will be up soon.

And Orochimaru's story should be up within the next few days.

………………………..

'What are these people thinking?' Wondered Neji as he finished his story. 'She's my cousin!'

……

Neji's Story- The Legend of Tenten

Many stories begin with 'once upon a time.' I myself hold nothing against this particular phrase, but I believe that a more suitable opening for our tale would be something else, similar yet not quite the same. Our story begins-

**_Once Upon a Wish_**

a young girl was born. The King and Queen of Konoha had been unable to conceive a child, so they made a wish upon the thousand paper cranes they folded. "Please bring us a daughter," they said. Soon they fate bestowed one upon them. A child fell from the heavens, landing safely in a bed of flowers. They took this girl in and raised her as their own, giving her the name Tenten.

Tenten grew up to be a beautiful young woman who was loved by all in the land. Isn't it funny how princesses are like that? Unfortunately, off course, this meant some giant asshole somewhere had to go and mess it up. Don't you hate those kinds of people? His name was Orochimaru, he was the King of Otolasia.

Otolasia was an infamous land of darkness where everyone was a total asshole. For fun, they liked to kick kitties onto the street in front of oncoming carriages. They were just those kinds of people. That's why they loved their evil pedophile King.

Now the King had no Queen. In fact, their were few women at all living in the castle, mostly a bunch of little boys, so you can't really blame people for questioning his sexuality even though he was, in fact, straight. The gay jokes began to piss him off so much that he began to go looking for a wife.

He searched through out the lands searching for a suitable bride, but could find none that suited his tastes. Then he came upon Konoha and glanced upon the beautiful form of Princess Tenten. "I must have her for my own," he whispered, licking his lips.

In the middle of the night, Orochimaru slipped into the castle and made off with the princess. The King and Queen were devastated when they discovered this tragedy, so in the morning they sent their bravest knights to rescue the princess. However, she was kept in the tallest tower of Orochimaru's castle, where many villains loved to keep their kidnapped princesses. Indeed Orochimaru had made a fortune renting out the castle to other evildoers who wished to kidnap princesses in their free time. The one thing he never did rent out was his personal dragon guardian. This mighty dragon guarded the castle night and day, never sleeping.

All the knights who sought to rescue the princess fell before the mighty dragon.

The King and Queen waited for weeks, praying one of the knights would slay the dragon and rescue the princess. However, they all fell. The King and Queen began to lose hope.

One day, a peasant appeared before them. "My name is Neji," he said with a polite bow. "I believe that I may be able to slay the dragon. With your permission, I would like to be given the chance to try."

"What makes you think you will succeed where the knights have failed?" Asked the King. "It's not that we don't appreciate the offer, but we can't allow an innocent citizen of our kingdom to risk his life for us."

"I assure you I would gladly give up my life for the princess," said Neji.

"Is there anything you would like in return for saving the princess?" Asked the Queen.

"Nothing at all," said Neji. "Simply knowing that the princess is safe shall be reward enough for me." At this point, it's probably obvious that this _extremely handsome _young peasant had the hots for the beautiful Princess Tenten. Why else would he risk his life just to save her and not expect anything in return?

"Very well then, Neji," the king himself bowed. "I beg of you, please rescue the princess."

……

Neji traveled far to the land of Otolasia preparing for the battle he knew would come. He had to walk over a thousand miles for he was poor and had no horse. Anybody with a map would be able to tell you that both countries are actually very close and only a few miles apart, but there was a very steep mountain running between them. This stopped Otolasia from invading Konoha, but Neji still hated it.

"Stupid mountain," he mumbled, plotting its demise. He finally came upon the Forest of Death. He knew that Orochimaru's castle was inside the Forest of Death, so he ventured in. First he came upon a hungry lion, who wanted to eat his flesh.

"Lion oh lion," he said, "Why do you want to eat me?"

"Because I am hungry and you look tasty," the Lion answered. "Is it strange to wish to eat when you are hungry?"

"What if I offered you something better than my flesh?" Neji asked.

"If you offer me something that is better than I shall let you go," the lion answered.

Neji set to work building a trap. He caught a buffalo and presented it to the lion. "I have brought you this buffalo so please let me pass."

The lion had feasted upon the flesh of the buffalo and was satisfied, so he allowed Neji safe passage.

Next Neji came upon a raging river that he could not cross, so he searched for a way to get across. 'Surely the knights must have had a way across,' he thought. With his great eyesight, he saw the answer, a large bird soared overhead.

"Bird," he called out, "would you please be kind enough to carry me across the river?"

The bird landed in front of Neji. "What makes you think I would stoop so low as to carry a human across the river?" He asked.

"Because I will offer to do something in return." Neji answered.

The bird spun around and offered his back to Neji. "That won't be necessary. All the other humans I have encountered simply demanded I take them. Thank you for respecting me."

"Thank you for your kindness," said Neji, climbing on the bird's back.

Neji continued, and finally came upon Orochimaru's castle. "Please let me through," he asked the dragon.

"Why should I?" The dragon asked.

"Because I want to rescue the beautiful princess locked away in the highest tower," Neji explained. "And I want to wake her with my kiss."

"What makes you think she's sleeping?" Asked the dragon.

"Because she is a princess locked in a tower, of course she is asleep." Neji answered. "It is the law of the world."

"It is the middle of the day, shouldn't she be awake?" Asked the dragon. "I'm sure she is awake."

"I think you're wrong," said Neji. "I'd wager my life on it."

"Very well," said the dragon. "I shall take you up on that bet." After eating all the knights who had come his way, he had taken a liking to human flesh and wanted to eat Neji. "When you lose I shall eat you because you look very yummy."

"But if I win you must become my servant instead of Orochimaru's," said Neji.

"Agreed," said the hungry dragon.

"So take me to the tower and we shall see is who is right."

Not realizing he had been tricked, the idiot dragon flew Neji to the tower where Princess Tenten was sleeping peacefully. "I win," Neji said with a smile."

"Damn it," swore the dragon. "And I was hungry too."

"Then my first order is for you to eat your former master Orochimaru."

Neji kissed the beautiful princess on the lips, and she woke up with a smile.

.

Epilouge: the dragon ate Orochimaru thus leaving Otolasia without a king. They nominated Neji as their new leader. His first act was to destroy that stupid mountain between his country and Konoha. Eager to strengthen their bonds with Otolasia, Konoha and Otolasia became close friends. Now that he was a King, Neji proposed to the beautiful Princess Tenten and they got married and lived happily ever after.

The End

……..

……

Okay sorry that sucked, but I will upload the next chapter soon.

And I've written the cow story...it sucks too.

This is a lot harder than expected.

Orochi's story will be up soon, but it doesn't have its own chapter.

It sucks...intentionally.


	6. Worse Then Yaoi? The Horror of OroTsuna!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

Warning: Manga Spoilers!

A/N: Jiraiya's story will be left up to your imagination. He is after all, a professional author. I could never write something as good as he could.

Please don't take the joke about reviews too seriously. It is just a joke and is in no way me begging for reviews.

Naruto: Yeah right, you're begging for them.

Sorry if Jiraiya's penname has been taken, I tried to come up with something that didn't seem likely to be in use. Same applies to the other penname.

And sorry to any OrochimaruxTsunade fans. I mean you no offense.

……

Jiraiya smiled as he read the review. He felt happy on the inside whenever he read a nice review that someone had written for one of his stories. A lot of thought went into each chapter and reviews are so nice. Getting reviews makes all authors happy. Really, really, really, happy. You have no idea how happy it makes people.

He had just posted the third chapter of his story an hour ago and he had already gotten eighteen reviews. He was one of those lucky authors with his own fan-base. It was probably due to his great writing skills, honed by his talents as a real author. Yes, he was really lucky to get so many reviews.

_Nurse Ramen_

_I loved the way you conveyed the pain in Jiraiya's heart when Tsunade told him about her engagement. It brought tears to my eyes and I haven't been able to stop crying since. Tsunade and Jiraiya are perfect for each other. If only she could have realized it before it was too late. Please update soon, IMNDSannin ._

...

_IMNDSannin_

_Thanks for your review. I agree they are meant for each other. Hopefully she'll one day realize in her heart how much he cares for her._

Jiraiya sent his reply to Nurse Ramen. He took a moment to breath, and then started working on the twelfth chapter. He had already written chapters four through eleven, but hadn't put them up yet, deciding that one chapter every few days was enough.

He looked out of the window of the log cabin he had rented somewhere out in the woods. He was badly injured, but recovering. He wasn't ready to return to Konoha just yet, but he had sent a messenger frog. Unfortunately, he had no idea that the frog had been captured.

"I'm sorry, little froggy," whispered his captor. "But they cannot know Jiraiya is alive just yet. That would ruin my master's plan."

……………..

Tsunade was still in shock, unable to believe what she had read. She fell out of her chair, clutching her stomach in pain. She vomited onto the floor, struggling not to think of the things she had just read. 'It was horrible.'

Shizune couldn't believe a simple story could have such an impact on a person, so she decided to check it out herself. It didn't seem very long at all. 'This isn't so bad,' she thought, reading the first line. She sat in Tsunade's chair, reading on.

………………

Hinata sighed. 'Naruto would never fall in love with me that quickly,' she thought. 'Maybe I should write a chapter story. But I don't think I can. Well, there's no harm in trying.' Hinata racked her brain for ideas but couldn't come up with any. 'I'm hungry.' Hinata thought about it for a moment, and decided to head to Ichiraku for lunch.

………..

"Finally," whispered Naruto, unable to speak any louder. "We got them." He fell to his knees, exhausted.

"Let's get the money and buy a new computer," said Sasuke. "Naruto, look out!"

There was one cow left, and it was angry. It shot a giant lightning bolt at Naruto that would have surely killed him had Sasuke not pulled him out of the way.

'I'm sure we killed them all,' thought Sasuke. 'This is getting weirder and weirder. Killer ninja cows just don't make any sense, but killer ninja cows that come back to life? That just makes no sense!'

Little did the two ninja know, a shadowy figure was watching them both. "So," he whispered, "You've fallen into my trap. Let's see if you can escape."

……….

Naruto: Wait, so someone is out to get us?

Sasuke: Can't you just stick to the plot you wrote in the summary? The one about us writing fanfiction.

DtecnoKira: I thought this would make things more interesting!

……

"Damn it, stop laughing Shizune," moaned Tsunade. "It's not funny!"

"What are you talking about?" Asked Shizune, rolling on the floor laughing. "This is hilarious!"

"Shizune!"

………….

Choji's Story

"_I do," they had both said, and Sasuke leaned in to kiss Sakura. They had been dating for two years before he had proposed and now here they were at their wedding. It was a joyous occasion, but that didn't stop the sadness in her heart._

_Noticing the sadness welling in her eyes, Sai asked, "Is something wrong Ino?"He offered her a tissue._

"_Its nothing," she said, taking the tissue, "I know I should be happy for them, but, I'm sad for me. Sakura is my best friend and she's marrying the man of her dreams. But I love him too, I always have. I knew my chances with him were over the second he asked her out, but that doesn't change the way my heart feels. I love him and I want him to be mine. Its stupid of me to be jealous, I know that, but still."_

"_It's not stupid," Sai told her. "It's human."  
_

"_But I'm supposed to be a ninja. We don't have emotions."_

"_Yes we do. Ninja are humans after all. Now, I won't tell you to cheer up, because that will happen when you're ready. For now, cry as much as you like until you're ready to move on. Then smile, because you're much more beautiful when you smile. And have faith that you'll find the one meant for you."_

"_Sai," she whispered. "Thank you."_

"_Besides," he said. "Sasuke has a small (bleep) anyway."_

_Ino laughed for the first time in months. "Do you really think there's someone out there who loves me?"_

"_I do," he answered._

_Ino smiled, not understanding the true meaning behind his words._

_The End_

…….

"Looks like they're really dead this time," said Sasuke, kicking an immobile cow.

"They were tough," mumbled Naruto.

Their client walked up from behind the iron gate that kept the cows locked up. "That was impressive," he said, "You two deserve a reward." He handed them some extra money.

"Wow," said Naruto, "thank you. This is enough to buy three computers!"

The one who had been watching from afar smiled. "So you beat them. Good, if you were weak enough to die at the hands of my cows, you wouldn't deserve to be ninja. My plan is proceeding just as I hoped."

……

Hinata sat down and ordered a bowl of ramen. Ayame handed it to her with a smile. "I read your last fanfiction Hinata, it was pretty good," she said.

"Thank you," said Hinata.

"But when are you going to tell him how you really feel?" Ayame laughed when Hinata blushed.

"Some day."

……………

Orochimaru's Story

_The battle was chaotic, Konoha had lost many troops. Tsunade and Jiraiya cowered in fear, not even they could do anything. The Iwagakure ninja had them outnumbered. "Somebody help!" Tsunade cried out._

_Jiraiya passed out in a puddle of his own urine._

"_Is there no one who can save us?" Asked Tsunade._

_Konoha had lost all hope, until he appeared._

_Orochimaru, the legendary hero of Konoha. He ran through enemy battalions of enemy shinobi, beheading them with his blade. He was handsome, even in battle. His muscular body and beautiful hair made him look like a Bishie God of Battle._

"_It's Orochimaru-sama," Tsunade exclaimed in joy. "The legendary Bishie of Konoha has come to save us."_

_Orochimaru single-handedly defeated all the enemy troops, spilling a river of blood onto the battle grounds. But he emerged unharmed, his perfect good looks intact, his flawless body was completely unharmed._

"_Please make me yours," pleaded Tsunade._

"_Of course," said Orochimaru. "Because I am straight and definitely not gay."_

_And they made out on the spot._

_The End_

_Please R&R_

_No flames, plz!_

……_._

Naruto: Wow, that was disturbing.

DtecnoKira: Yes it was. I think I threw up a little.

Sai: Expect to read the Akatsuki vs Cow Story Soon!

DtecnoKira: I wonder how long it will be.

As always, please review.

Be nice.

No flames.

Any suggestions?


	7. Akatsuki PWNED! The UberCow Appears!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

Sorry its short--and lame. I did try my best, but I can't remember the name of their jutsu. Does anyone know a good website to check out?

God this is harder than I thought!

If anyone else wants to try their own version, you have my permission.

Sai: You have mine too! : )

……………………..

Sai's Story

Itachi tossed Naruto's limp body onto the cold floor and the ritual began. It took a while, but they were able to extract the kyuubi. The nine-tailed biju was sealed into the statue along with the other eight demons. Finally, the Akatsuki had succeeded in capturing them all.

"This calls for a celebration," said their ecstatic leader. In honor of Naruto's capture, they had all come together for the first time in so long, with no astral projection involved. This meant they could celebrate as a group.

"I know," Itachi squealed excitedly. "Let's all go out and get our hair done!"

"And we can get manicures too," suggested Deidara.

So the Konan, Pein, Itachi, Tobi, Deidara, Zetsu, and Kisame all happily skipped out of their hideout, forgetting to shut the door.

A hungry cow wandered in, looking for food.

Somehow the statue activated itself, sealing all nine biju within the cow. Perhaps fate was at play,.

Maybe the biju wanted revenge on the Akatsuki, and saw the cow as their chance.

This is where the fun begins.

……

The Akatsuki members returned. "Who left the door open?" Pein asked angrily.

Everyone pointed at Kisame.

"Don't look at me, Deidara was the last one out," Kisame said defensively. He pouted. "Why does everyone blame me for everything?" He whined.

"Shut up," moaned Itachi. "Why do you always whine so much? Its annoying, quit being a baby and grow up!"

"Uh-oh," said Zetsu upon noticing the statue. "Our biju are gone."

"What!?" Screamed Pein. "After all that hard work our biju are gone! Deidara I am so going to kill you."

"Where the hell did the biju go?" Asked Konan.

"Into the cow," Tobi answered.

"Tobi, don't be such a retard, un." Moaned Deidara. "Why the hell would the biju be sealed in a cow, un?"

"I don't think Tobi was being a retard," said Konan, pointing to the sealing.

There was the cow, looking very angry. It had already activated all nine of its inner demons, turning it into a cow shaped mass of chakra. It fell, squashing Zetsu and Konan immediately.

"Tobi is a good boooooooooooooy!" Screamed the masked Akatsuki member, fleeing the scene.

Deidara reached for some clay, but the cow was too fast, firing a mysterious dark liquid from its rear end. His aim was true and Deidara's hand mouth ended up swallowing something he wished it hadn't. I think it's safe to say this was not chocolate milk. (A/N It was liquid diarrhea! XD I'm so mean!)

"Mangekyo Sharingan!" Cried Itachi, staring the cow straight in the eyes. He attempted to control the biju, but this plan ended in failure when Itachi's was trapped in the cow's Genjutsu.

"What's going on?" He asked, but soon found out. He was not trapped in a Genjutsu of sight or sound….but of smell. "What is this horrible odor? It smells like…COW DOOKIES!"

Itachi fell on his knees, vomiting. 'This smell, it's too much.'

"Water Style: Eraser Rain!" Kisame had just perfected the new jutsu and decided to try it out here, but before he could complete it, a large hand made of chakra picked him up and repeatedly slammed him into the ceiling and floor. "Help, I'm being pwned by a hamburger!"

Deidara sent his little bomb birdies after the cow, but the cow expanded its chakra to detonate them.

Pein quickly formed a few seals and summoned his newest body, that which was formerly Jiraiya's. "Rasengan!" It called out, trying to attack the cow. But the animal was too fast, targeting Pein's real body with a well aimed head-butt to the groin.

"Not even I like this much pain," he moaned.

The cow crapped on the floor, this time it was solid poo, but it was huge poo. It just kept coming, slowly filling the room.

"Help," cried Pein, "I'm drowning." He began to seek into the massive pile of .

The cow dropped Kisame, hoping he too would drown, but Itachi and Kisame hitched a ride on Deidara's clay bird. "I'll try to wash the out of here," Kisame told the others. "Water Style: Tsunami no Jutsu!" He summoned a giant wave of sea water to try to wash the cow poop away.

"Fire Style," began Itachi. Deidara was the only one to realize the trouble they were in.

"Itachi, don't," he begged.

"Fireball Jutsu!"

Is anyone interested in a little science lesson?

Manure plus seawater begins the process of fermentation. This creates methane gas.

You do know what happens when you mix fire with gas, right?

The cow was the only one who survived.

Nations fell before the cow, who soon conquered the world and built his own village, Mirukugakure.

The End

………

Naruto: Well that story sucked.

Sakura: And it was short too.

DtecnoKira: Shut up or I'll write a HakuSaku lemon.

Sai: I thought you didn't like yuri.

DtecnoKira: Good one Sai! But we all know it isn't yuri, because Sakura is actually a guy!

Sakura: Take that back!

DtecnoKira: Time for a special things to look forward to section.

………………

Chapter Stories

Role Playing

More NaruHina

Lee's Oneshot

More appearances by that mysterious person who watched the cow fight.

See you later, please review!


	8. Stupid Writers Block!

Chapter 4- 68 Hits

Chapter 5 -12

Did I do something wrong or do I just need to be patient?

Oh who cares! 21 reviews! Yay, thank you all!

I think I should go on a diet…I'm fat.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Or Colors of the Heart

Damn writer's block!

I tried to write a chapter story but failed!

Naruto: You suck!

Sasuke: When will I get to write a story? Isn't this dobe's third?

DtecnoKira: I'm supposed to do Hinata, Kiba, and Lee's stories first. And the Truth or Dare story, which will probably be Sai's. I'll just need some inspiration first! And sorry this chapter is short!

Sasuke: Lol, you just said you needed to do Hinata.

Naruto: Lol, He said he needed to do Hinata, KIBA, and LEE!

DtecnoKira: Shut up you two!

……

Hinata's Story

Chapter 1

"_How did the mission go today?" Neji asked politely, taking a delicate sip of his green tea. The drink swished around in his mouth before he swallowed._

_Hinata took a sip of hers before answering, "It was a success; we apprehended the criminal." She told him. _

"_Not that mission, the other one. Have you told him how you feel?"_

…_.._

'No, this isn't working,' thought Hinata. 'I need a do over.'

………..

Ramen Quest

Chapter 1

_His birthday is tomorrow._

_I searched the many shelves of manga, hoping to find something that looked good. I know he likes manga, but which one should I get him. I find some that look interesting, but I have the feeling he's already read them. They look like the books I've seen him carrying around sometimes, when he goes to the park to read._

_Not many people realize this, but Naruto-kun actually likes to relax once in awhile. Sure he can be hyperactive at times, but he knows how to kick back_

…….

'No,' not this either, Hinata moaned. She tried eating ice cream, but not even the sugar rush helped. 'Maybe instead of making it a romance, I should make it an action story with NaruHina as the main couple.' She shut down her computer and sank backwards onto her bed, 'man this is hard.'

……..

Naruto's Story

_One day Sasuke died on a mission, so Sakura was sad and Naruto told him "Don't worry, I'm here for you. Let's be together forever." And they fell in love and got married, and had many children. _

_THE END!_

…….

BoogiepopShippuden

_Sakura was sad and Naruto told HIM, …wait, so Sakura's a dude now? WTH! Stop writing, don't you have anything better to do. At least put some effort into it. I swear to God, you are so annoying, I know you can do better. If you want to read a good story to get some ideas, read _From Ramen with Love by Ryushi-the-DutchEroSennin _it's a Naruto/Harem. I've read the first chapter, it is really good. Read and learn from the master! He has over 1000 Reviews!  
_

………

"So they beat my cows, just as expected," said the mysterious figure, eating a bacon cheeseburger. No wonder he was so fat. "I'll need to think carefully before I make my next move."

"What will you do?" Asked one of the man's servants, the very man who had hired Naruto and Sasuke. "Will I be of any assistance to you?"

"There will be no need, my next plan will be carried out by _Namahagetecno."_

"But…him? Why? Isn't that overkill? He's your most powerful warrior."

"Correction," said a young voice. "I _was _master's strongest warrior. But I'm not anymore."

"Then who is?" Asked the man, who for the sake of future clarity I shall dub 'Marty.'

Namahagetecno was silent for a moment before answering. "Mary-Sue."

………

Ino read her reviews, they were nothing special, just; _I love your story, SasuIno rox! _and the like. No concrit, nothing specific, yet she still felt happy knowing that their were others who enjoyed the thought of SasuIno. 'So, I guess that means it's not impossible or crazy.'

She read some fanfiction too, mostly SasuIno's, but there were only about nine pages worth, as opposed to the 404 of SasuSaku. 'At least something is beating the yaoi.'

Hell, there were 390 pages of SasuNaru……she felt depressed.

On a whim, she checked out a few other couples.

There were a few SasuSai's. Considering the trick that Konohamaru once pulled, she was surprised yet thankful that there weren't more.

NaruSaku-85

NaruHina-158

'Way to go NaruHina! He's yours Hinata!' Ino mentally cheered for her fellow Kunoichi.

She decided to check out more pairs involving herself.

Shikamaru- 44 'Wow,' she thought. 'Maybe it's something worth looking into'

Choji- 3

Sai- 2

On a whim she tried herself with Naruto-16 pages.

'That's surprising…we barely interact!'

She was bored, and trying to think of something to do. 'Maybe I'll go bug Sasuke!'

…….

Naruto: What the hell was the point of that.

DtecnoKira: Filler.

….

Hinata sat down at Ichiraku Ramen as she often did, hoping to catch a glimpse of Naruto. As addicted as he was to the internet, he could not stay away from the ramen.

Ayame decided to have a little fun with the two. "So Naruto-kun," she said. "Have you had the chance to read any of Hinata's stories yet?"

Hinata choked on her ramen.

……..

Hinata's eyes opened slowly. "Are you alright?" Asked Naruto. Clearly he was worried. "I was afraid something happened to you."

"I'm fine," she said, rising to her feet.

Ayame smiled. "It sure is a good thing Naruto knows CPR huh?"

……..

Jiraiya was busy with the nineteenth chapter of his story, having just posted the fourth. He typed in a few last words and decided to open his e-mail.

There was already a review from Nurse Ramen.

……..

_Nurse Ramen_

_I love this chapter. The conflict Jiriaya feels when he's forced to make his decision was heart breaking. It moved me to tears. Accept Orochimaru's betrayal or defy the village? Orochimaru was his life long friend, I still don't see how any one could have possibly expected him to forget about that._

……..

Jiraiya wrote a reply.

…

_Thanks for the review; yours are always the best. I'm glad to know I could convey Jiraiya's feelings well, he's the character I can understand the most, having often been rejected by the woman I love._

……

Hinata sat back down at her computer, determined to type. 'I wonder how Kiba is doing with his story.' She began to hit a few keys, hoping her thoughts would lead somewhere. Her mind was clouded, she needed to relax. "I should listen to music," she said out loud, playing her CD in the stereo. It was one of her favorite songs, Colors of the Heart.

'I know,' she thought excitedly, jotting some notes and ideas on a pad.

…….

Tsunade sighed. "Man this is harder than I thought; I can't write a single story."

"Maybe you just need some ideas, what do you want to write about? Action? Romance? A crack fic?" Shizune tried to help. "Hey, you never told me what your penname was!"  
"I didn't?" Tsunade was puzzled. "I could have sworn I did. It's Nurse Ramen."

…..

DtecnoKira: Plot twist!

Sasuke: Oh please, it barely curved.

Sakura: yeah, I think we all saw that coming.

Naruto: I didn't.

DtecnoKira: Well readers, did you? Please R&R!

...

Orochimaru angrily read the review. "I do not have that many things coming out of my mouth," he pouted.

...

"So what shall I do for you, master?" Asked Namahagetecno.

"I want you to kidnap Hinata."

……

Okay, it's a little longer than expected. Sorry, there wasn't much in terms of faux fanfiction this time, but I promise to make it up to you. I will think of something for Hinata to write! And there will be chaptered stories.

As always, please R&R, no flames.

Sai: Gasp, I have an idea for a crack fic! Ramen King! It will be a parody of Shaman King...nah too lazy to write it.

Disclaimer: Sai and I do not own Shaman King!


	9. Love NaruHina

DtecnoKira: Here I go trying the NaruHina again……..

Hinata: DtecnoKira does not own Naruto.

Kiba: Wait you told me that you were switching Hinata's story to an AU. So if this isn't AU….who's doing the AU if it isn't me anymore.

DtecnoKira: No one for now...Sasuke maybe.

Hinata: This story takes place during Shippuden.

……………………………..

Hinata's Story-Mission: Love

Chapter 1 Here we are

The crimson embers of the campfire glowed dimly in the cold night, but they were enough. Hinata tried not to shiver in the cold; she held her hands as close to the fire as she could. Naruto and Sakura were sleeping peacefully in their tents while Hinata watched the night for any sign of intruders. She was tired but her shift had only just begun.

Alone in the night, it was impossible not to reflect on her situation. She looked up at the twinkling stars in the otherwise empty sky. "Please," she whispered, "Give me the courage to tell him."

Before setting off on this mission, she had made a vow to express her feelings to Naruto. However, even now she had no idea what to say. 'I love you,' was not enough. With so much at stake, how could anyone expect three small words to shoulder such a heavy burden? Those three words alone could never convey the emotions churning in the human heart, could they?

Regardless of what words she would choose in the end, she would say them. Sure, there were thoughts of, 'How will he react? What if he doesn't like me back? What if he starts to grow distant?' But they didn't matter. The yearning was to strong, she had to tell him.

That's why she made the vow.

'I never go back on my word!'

Naruto stirred within his tent, sleepily climbing out. He rubbed his eyes and yawned, looking at Hinata in surprise. "Did you call me?" He asked curiously. When Hinata shook her head no, he simply replied, "I must have been dreaming then, but I could have sworn you said something."

Naruto sat down next to her. "Man, this log is uncomfortable," he said, taking a moment to adjust his position on the bumpy piece of wood. "Oh well, I'm up, I might as well stay here with you."

This pleased Hinata almost as much as the idea that Naruto had been dreaming of her. "So, Naruto," she decided to ask, "What kind of dream were you having?"

"I was having the best dream ever!" He excitedly announced. "I had just become the Hokage, and Ichiraku Ramen made a new dish in my honor. It was the best ramen ever." Naruto smiled just thinking about it. He pumped his fist in the air. "I was eating bowl after bowl and it tasted so good!" Realizing how silly he looked, he put his hand down, lightly brushing against Hinata's arm.

His hand felt warm.

"Naruto," she said, working up the courage, "I love…"

"What's with all the noise?" Screamed Sakura, "Why'd you have to go and wake me up Naruto?" She scrambled out of her tent. "I was having such a nice dream! Sasuke came back to the village and became the Rokudaime. Then he proposed to me. We were about to get married when you had to go and ruin it all!"

"S—sorry Sakura-san," he apologized pleadingly. "I didn't mean to wake you."

Naruto turned back to Hinata, barely remembering that she was in the middle of saying something. "So what was it you were saying?" He asked. "Something about you loving…." The memory, though very recent, was fuzzy and vague.

"I love ramen," Hinata said, chickening out of her confession. "I know you love ramen too, so I was wondering if you brought any." It was a good cover, but she still wished she could have blurted out how she felt. For a fleeting moment, she had the strength of heart to depend on 'I love you.' Her voice had been fully prepared to take flight, but now her wings were clipped. Her heart had wavered, leaving her exactly where she started.

But she hadn't given up.

"Well, I'm going back to sleep," Sakura said with a yawn. "Hinata, why don't you get some rest and let Naruto take over your shift?"

The peace of the night was suddenly broken when Hinata shouted, "Look out," and tackled Naruto to the ground. A large shuriken flew above her head, embedding itself in a tree. Hinata and Naruto both rose to their feet quickly, shifting into a battle formation.

"Thanks, I owe you," said Naruto.

Hinata, Naruto, and Sakura were tense. Someone had just attacked them, but who was it? They waited for their opponent's next move, but nothing came. They were still for over an hour as Hinata scanned the area with her Byakugan. "I don't see anyone she told them."

"They must be planning on waiting until we let our guard down. That's when they'll attack," Sakura theorized. "We can't keep this up forever, but it would be foolish to ignore the threat."

Naruto smiled. "I know where the enemy is," he suddenly announced, throwing his kunai at the shuriken. The dagger simply bounced off the larger weapon.

"You idiot!" Sakura moaned. "Hinata's Byakugan can see the flow of chakra, she'd know if the shuriken was actually a human."

"Oh right, I forgot," he admitted sheepishly.

Before they had time to argue any further, the attacker again attempted to kill them.

This time, he attack was more direct. Thousands of senbon rained from the sky. They were almost impossible to make out in the night sky. The trio of ninja had no way to dodge such a widespread attack, but they knew how to block it.

"Taju Kagebunshin no Jutsu!" Naruto shielded himself and his allied with the help of his clones. The group made it out alive.

"Impressive," said a malevolent voice. "I never expected you to survive the attack. I do hope you'll accept my apologies for making you wait; I do rather love watching my prey squirm about nervously. It was a joy to watch you three tense ninja; you all looked like you were ready to go insane. It was hilarious."

He had long white hair and wore black armor decorated with pictures of silver dragons.. He looked like a demon. "Please forgive me for one more little thing. You see, my master can't have you completing your mission; that would interfere with his plans. So I'm afraid I'll have to kill you."

To Be Continued!

…………….

DtecnoKira: Wow, that was a lot harder than I thought! Please R&R

Hinata: Who is this new villain? Who is the master that he serves? Will I ever confess my love to Naruto? Any advice for this story? Where do you want it to go next?

DtecnoKira: Don't forget to vote in my poll!


	10. Love Hinata

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

……………….

Hinata's Story

Chapter 2 Hot Springs

A/N: I promise I'll try to do better fight scenes later. I'm not that great at choreographing action.

…………………

"My name is Daichi," He announced, stepping toward the trio.

Naruto created two shadow clones, sending them forward. Daichi simply knocked the clones away, spinning around to attack the two behind him. "Earth Style: Rockslide Jutsu!" A mountain rose from the ground, sending boulders tumbling down toward the group.

"Take this! Shannaro!"" Sakura shattered the boulders easily with her fist. With her immense strength it was a simple task for the Kunoichi to pull off.

"Not bad," Daichi admitted. "But take this! Earth Style: Flying Stalactites!" A small pillar rose from the Earth and fired several rounds of Stalactites at the group, who easily dodged them all.

"This is the guy we were worried about? He's nothing at all! I bet he's still just a Genin!"

"I'm a Chunin!" Shouted Daichi angrily. Apparently he was sensitive about his lack of talent.

"I'll handle this in one move!" Naruto announced proudly. "Taju Kagebunshin Jutsu!" He created an army of Shadow Clones. "You're going down!"

Daichi created a pillar to stand on, "Just try reaching me now!" He challenged, not realizing that Naruto was already forming a human pyramid.

"Rasengan!"

Hinata watched in amazement as Naruto won the fight. This was the boy once known as the worst in the academy, now he was a powerful ninja, worthy of respect.

………………..

'After all that buildup,' thought the ninja. 'Daichi was beaten in a matter of seconds. 'These ninja are tougher than Ithought. 'No wonder they were hired to move the Stone of Geis. I'm just lucky this idiot attacked first.

……………

Hinata remembered how intimidating the mission was. "You three will guard the Stone of Geis as it is moved from the Leaf Village to the Sand Village."

"What are you saying?" Asked Sakura in disbelief. "That should be a mission for top ranked Jonin. That stone is too much of a target for two Chunin and a Genin to handle."

"The Sand Village is in dire need of the stone right now, and we have no Jonin available. Besides, I have my faith you three will do just fine. I trained you myself Sakura, Hinata is of the Hyuga bloodline and possesses the Byakugan, and Naruto has demonstrated on several occasions that he is one of the toughest ninja in our village. He's survived battles against the Akatsuki."

"But the Stone of Geis will be a target for ninja around the world! Everyone will want it. We'll have to fend off attacks from ninja of all nations!" Sakura was wooried.

"SAKURA!" Shouted Tsunade angrily. "Are you refusing an order from the Hokage?"  
"No mam," Sakura bowed politely.

Hinata was a little intimidated by the danger this mission would bring, but she accepted it. She was a ninja, refusing a difficult task was not an option. Besides, Naruto would be there, so everything would be okay.

…….

"We'll spend the night here," said Sakura. She was the squad leader, and she had determined that spending the night outside in a tent was far too dangerous, so they had marched forward until they came to a Hot Springs inn.

They were all still too pumped up from their fight, so they decided to relax. And what's a better way to relax then to take a hot springs bath.

……………….

Hinata sank into the water. Sakura was busy putting things away in her room so Hinata was all alone. The warmth was soothing. She relaxed, pondering what would have happened had she been able to say just one more word, 'you.'

In the peaceful water, she couldn't help but fondly remember the things she loved about Naruto.

'He always stands when he falls, the way I wanted to stand. In the darkest of nights his heart still burns bright, refusing to give in to sorrow.'

……

"You're not doing it right Naruto," Iruka-sensei scolded him. Why don't you sit down for now and try again later?"

"I can do it, I swear," he said, "Transform!" He took the form of an ugly deformed Iruka, just as he had the last time. The other students were busy laughing, but that didn't stop him. Other students who had failed were allowed multiple tries, so Hinata wasn't sure why Iruka didn't want to let Naruto go again, but she had an idea. Iruka didn't want the other students to laugh at Naruto. But that was precisely why Naruto wanted to go again. He wanted to prove that he could do it. He didn't want them to think he was incapable of a simple transformation technique.

So he kept trying, despite all the laughs.

Hinata had been one of the students who failed at properly demonstrating the technique, but she had given up. She had been nervous and afraid of messing up, so she failed. She was too afraid to try again, too afraid of failing.

But Naruto wasn't.

She wished she could be like that.

…………..

Sakura climbed into the hot springs alongside Hinata.

She was followed by Naruto.

Hinata started to blush brightly, "Naruto what are you doing here?"

"Didn't you see the sign?" Sakura asked. "It's mixed bathing in this hot spring."

To be continued

…………………………

DtecnoKira: Okay, Hinata's Story is proving a tougher challenge then I thought, so I need advice!

Namahagetecno: I would also like to note that the next chapter will return to the format of multiple stories, expect to see Orochimaru's new story, titled: Orochimaru's Threesome.


	11. Movement of the Rival: Namahagetecno

Movement of the Rival

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

Today I bring you more randomness! Yayz!.

………..

His spiky red hair looked like something out of a video game more than anime. His eyes were both as black as night itself. He wore a purple sweater with a hood and long sleeves, decorated with various belts wrapped around both arms. His blue jeans were decorated with various chains. The most interesting thing about his appearance was the golden medallion he wore around his neck. It was engraved with the carvings of both the Uchiha fan and Naruto's spiral.

His name was Namahagetecno.

He spied on the village of Konoha from above, planning his next move.

He had a mission he could not fail. He had to kidnap Hyuga Hinata.

It was all part of his master's plan.

…………………..

Orochimaru's Story-Orochimaru's Threesome

_Summary: Slightly AU- Oro, Tsuna, and Jiraiya are taking the Chunin Exams. Orochimaru meets a very sexy woman and has a threesome. Not a lemon. _

…_._

_Orochimaru, Jiraiya, and Tsunade walked through the Forest of Death, searching for enemy ninja they could fight. They had in their possession, an Earth Scroll. To pass the exam, they needed a Heaven Scroll._

_They found one, lying on the ground._

"_Don't grab it," Orochimaru warned the idiotic Jiraiya._

_But the future Sannin was an idiot and he idiotically __picked up the scroll anyway, like an idiot, springing the enemies' obvious trap that was so obvious only an idiot would fall for it._

_They fell from the sky, thousands of Senbon that would have pierced Jiraiya's flesh painfully, had it not been for the awesome and talented Orochimaru._

_Orochimaru, whose skills were surpassed only by his intelligence and good looks, was able to blocked them all with his awesome and powerful Rashoman Summoning Technique._

_Three enemy ninja appeared, two ugly guys and a very sexy older woman. She was in her early twenties._

"_Sorry children," said ugly ninja number one, "but we have to kill you."_

_The sexy kunoichi betrayed her teammates and knocked them unconscious. "You are really cute," she said to Orochimaru. "How old are you?"_

"_Fifteen," he answered. "Okay you're old enough. Want to do it?"  
"Sorry, but I love Tsunade," he said._

"_You do?" Gasped Tsunade, "I love you too." She tossed her arms around Orochimaru and kissed him. "I know, why don't we have a threesome?"She suggested._

"_I like it," said the enemy Kunoichi. "What about you Orochimaru?"_

"_Of course I like it because I am straight and it is one of the gretest fantasies of a straight man to have a threesome with two women."_

_The End_

………………

BoogiepopShippuden

_Wait, if Senbon rained from the sky, how did the Rashoman block them? And what is up with the writing style? Orochimaru, straight? Yeah right. The only threesome he wants to have is with Kabuto and Sasuke!_

……………

"If I ever meet you," Orochimaru whispered in the darkness, "Rest assured I will kill you!"

………………..

Namahagetecno snuck into Konoha, it was a simple enough task. With his abilities, nobody noticed him at all.

He adjusted the headband at his waist, so that it ran diagonally instead of straight. The book engraved in it displayed his allegiance clearly. He was from the Village Hidden in the Words.

………………..

Hinata wasn't sure if her story was any good, so she tried to take her mind off it by preparing some tea. She prepared seven glasses of tea. One for her father, one for Neji who was busy training, one for Lee and one for Tenten, for they had both come to watch Neji train. She of course made one for herself thus leaving just two more to make, for her teammates Kiba and Shino who had come to visit her.

She had no idea that she was about to be attacked.

………………..

Lee sighed, he had been trying to write a good story, but could not think of anything to write. 'I want to move people to tears,' he thought.

…………………

Naruto let out a sigh. 'This really _is_ good,' he thought. He added From Ramen with Love by Ryushi-the-DutchEroSennin to his favorite stories. He had only finished the first chapter, but he realized how much better this author was then him. "I want to write something this good, but how?" He wasn't expecting anyone to answer, but someone did.

"I can help you," said a familiar voice. "But first you must delete that last story you wrote, it was the worst of them all. The others can remain, but you have to delete this one. Hurry before _he _reviews it."

…………………….

Naruto' Story-Sasuke's Bad Day

_One day Sasuke was going for a walk when he stepped in some doggy poo. A dog ran up and bit him in the privates. He fell to the ground in pain then the rain came. He was covered in mud. Then lightning came and hit him, so he died. Sakura found the body and cried but Naruto comforted her with a kiss, they fell in love, the end!_

……………..

Naruto decided to delete all his stories.

They sucked anyway.

"So tell me," he said, "how are you still alive?"

"Why does it matter?" Asked Haku.

"Because you were dead," Naruto answered.

"So?"

"Well, how did you come back to life?" Naruto asked suspiciously.

"I was dead and I came back to life, can't you just be happy for me?" Haku frowned. "Listen, I need your help. I'm waging my own war against Yaoi, and so is Zabuza. But I have my own personal battle to fight against this thing called 'Fem-Haku.'"

……………

Hinata let out a scream when she saw the teen running toward her. She was startled; she never expected to someone to attack her in her own home. After taking a moment to adjust, she put the tray of teacups down and prepared to fight. However, she wasn't alone, Hiashi, Neji, Tenten, Lee, Kiba, Akamaru, and Shino were all there to help.

Namahagetecno smiled, 'this will barely be a challenge.'

……………….

To Be Continued!

A/N: Kiba's story is next!

After that we'll get to see Namahagetecno fight!

I'm not that great with action scenes, so wish me luck!

Naruto: This chapter wasn't that funny.

DtecnoKira: I know. Anyway, starting soon, we'll introduce a storyline that will move away from faux fanfiction for a very short time. Don't worry, it _should _still be funny.

Namahagetecno: I can summon ninja cows into battle, is that funny enough?


	12. Kiba's Story? Is it any good?

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Drangonball or InuYasha

Yay, I'm getting more hits. I was worried that I did something readers didn't like.

Oh, and I decided to make Hinata's story the AU instead of Kiba's. I have a reason, but it's a secret!

Wait, never mind, Hinata's story isn't AU anymore!

Kiba: Make up your mind!

……..

Time for another NaruHina attempt!

Kiba: I'll do my best! Please R&R if you want me to write more. If not, this story will be dropped for other faux fanfiction!

……….

Kiba's Story-Ramen Quest

Chapter 1-Shojo Manga

Hinata yawned gently as she rolled out of bed. A single thought drove her actions as she got ready that day. While she showered, she reminded herself of her goal. When she got dressed, the thought echoed clearly in her mind. It was the only thing to think about when she brushed her teeth and did her hair. As she ate breakfast, her mind focused on her goal. 'I have to go shopping today.'

You may think that going shopping is nothing special and that it is nothing much for her to be this excited about, however she had a greater purpose in mind then shopping for pleasure. Okay, perhaps in the end it was shopping for pleasure, but it was also more than that.

Naruto's birthday was coming up this week, and she needed to buy him the perfect present.

However, she had no idea this would prove more difficult than any ninja mission she had ever completed.

The first stop was the bookstore, where she hoped to find a good manga to buy him. 'Naruto loves manga,' she thought to herself, 'I know this much, but, what's his favorite?' The overwhelming collection of multiple volumes of countless series was quite overwhelming for the young Chunin. There were far too many choices to pick from. Her heart refused to let her settle for anything less than perfect. The decision was becoming tougher by the second. The clock ticked forward, driving her to worry. 'What if I can't find one? What will I do then?'

The biggest problem was picking one that Naruto didn't already have. 'What if I get him something that's already in his collection? He'll simply discard it along with my feelings.' Hinata let out a sigh. 'This is far harder than I thought it would be.'

The manga was the only thing she planned to get him; she wanted to make a gift basket for him, to convey all her feelings. She wanted to get him a manga that he would enjoy in order to say, 'I understand you, I know what you like, I know what your favorite stories are.' That's why it was important that she pick the right one.

Hinata racked her brain, trying to find an answer. One finally came to her. 'Of course,' she thought. Hinata looked around for a few books that she wanted. She quickly bought them and dashed home.

Hinata remembered the first manga she had ever read.

…………………………………...……………….(((Flashback)))……………...….………...…………

Young Hinata walked into the classroom, hoping to find Iruka-sensei. She didn't understand the homework assignment but was too embarrassed to admit it. So she had waited until after class, hoping to seek clarification.

Iruka-sensei was there, but he was busy lecturing Naruto, who apparently had detention that day.

"Naruto, do you even study at all for your tests? You got 12 percent, 12 percent! Akamaru could score higher than you!" Iruka was obviously upset. He cared deeply for Naruto, and wanted him to succeed, but Naruto always did poorly on his tests.

Hinata hid behind a desk, not wanting to get caught up in this mess.

"I'm going to the bathroom, I expect you to be here when I get back!" Iruka-sensei glared at Naruto somewhat angrily. "I know you could be one of my best students, if only you tried harder." He walked out the door and left for the restroom.

Hinata stood up from behind the desk.

"Hinata-chan? How long have you been there?" He asked in surprised.

"I just got here," she lied. "So you have detention huh?" She wasn't sure what kind of small talk to make.

"Pfft! So what, who cares?" Naruto mistook this for Hinata lecturing him. "Its not my fault this stuff makes no sense," he scoffed.

"Oh no," Hinata was flustered. She hadn't meant to anger Naruto. "I was just asking."

"I just want to go to the store and buy manga," he told her. "But Iruka-sensei had to go and give me detention."

"You like manga?" Hinata asked Naruto, even though the answer was obvious at this point. "Which ones are your favorites?"

Given the opportunity to talk about something he enjoyed, Naruto's face lit up. "Well, there's a ton actually, but my favorite is Dragonball. Although there is something else I really wanted to get today. One of my favorite authors is releasing a new manga today called Ramen Quest. It's going to be only one volume long, that really sucks, but I really like his work. It's a shojo about a girl learning to make ramen for the boy she's in love with. He really loves ramen and she really loves him, so she tries to make the perfect bowl."

Hinata was surprised; she had no idea that Naruto liked Shojo manga.

"Can you do me a favor?" Naruto asked. "I can trust you, right?" He reached for his wallet, waiting. Hinata nodded quickly, saying yes. "Can you go buy it for me?" He handed her some money. "And if you want to, go ahead and read it first, it's really good."

Hinata ran off, heading to the bookstore. She sped past Iruka-sensei, who had just returned. As she left she could hear Iruka-sensei say, "Naruto! Did you do something to upset Hinata-san?"

………

Hinata had read the manga before handing it to Naruto, it was her first manga ever. It was also her favorite.

She clutched the books she had just bought to her heart, How to Create Manga, she was going to draw a Ramen Quest Doujinshi.

To Be Continued

Please R&R

No Flames

Any suggestions on what to do?

Should I continue or leave this as it is?

……………………

……………………

DtecnoKira: Should Kiba Continue?

I'm trying my best but…I just don't feel it.

Oh, and I have some serious catching up to do with the InuYasha manga, so forgive me if I'm busy.

Thanks for the reviews everyone.


	13. Intense Battle: Enemy is a GaryStu!

Author's Note: IMPORTANT! There is _no faux fanfiction _in this chapter. Instead, I will be moving the plot forward. We have now entered the Hinata Rescue Arc (She doesn't need rescuing yet, but she will soon.)

Don't worry; everyone will be all right. If I do hurt or kill anyone, they _**WILL RECOVER FULLY**_ by the end of the story.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

DtecnoKira: Thanks for the reviews! I apologize if I get any jutsu names wrong, I tried using a search engine, but I couldn't find anything good.

………_._

_Spidey3000_

_Poor Naruto! He should get some instructions on writing Fanfiction from Haku! And let me guess: Namahagetecno was sent to kill Hinata for the yaoi fangirls, who don't want Naruto or Sasuke to have any potential love interests. And I hope Hinata kicks some arse hole in the next chapter! I can't wait to see Kiba's story! Update soon!_

DtecnoKira: Well, it should be up by now. As for Namahagetecno's purposes, they should become apparent in a few chapters. As for Naruto getting lessons, that was Haku's entire plan. As for Hinata kicking arse, you'll have to wait a little longer. Namahagetecno is a _very_ powerful enemy. Rest assured though, she will get her chance.

…………

_NarutoXXObsessed_

_Ok...um, I'm sorry if I am over-reacting...and for writing in caps, I know how some people hate that...but...  
I LOVED IT! AND ALL THE OTHERS TOO! gives cookies Yay! It's really really funny, and the stories are very nice! I really reall yreall hope you write more! Pretty please? puppy eyes  
Alrighty then, hehe. It was awesome, great job!_

DtecnoKira: Thanx! As for caps, I don't mind them. I love reviews! So long as they're not flames.

………_.._

_Tsukiyomaru__  
__That was very good. I love this pairing and you did a great job with writing it._

Hinata: Thank you, I love this pairing too.

……………… 

Crud, I don't know the original name of Neji's Shippuden attack, I'll be using the American manga's name for the attack.

...

………………

………………

………………

Namahagetecno looked around at the enemies surrounding him: Hinata, Shino, Kiba, Akamaru, Neji, Tenten, Lee, and Hiashi. He smiled, thinking the fight would be fun. Neji was the first to attack, using his 8 Trigrams Air Palm technique. Namahagetecno leapt over the attack, landing on one foot. He spun around, sweeping Hinata's feet out from under her.

Hinata pushed up against the ground as she fell, bouncing herself back up. "Byakugan!" She cried, activating her Kekkei Genkai just like her father and cousin had.

Neji, Hinata, and Hiashi surrounded the invader and all thrust their palms forth. Namahagetecno quickly leaned backwards, letting Hinata and Neji's hands slide past him. He reached forward, grabbing Neji and Hinata's arms with his left hand and Hiashi's with his right. Using their arms as leverage, Namahagetecno launched himself into the air, back flipping onto the grass.

His opponents followed him.

Namahagetecno smiled, "Ninja Art: Chains of Chaos!" Three black chains snaked out of the ground, surrounding the entire group. The chains lunged forward, trying to strike. The ninja all leapt into the air easily, but they separated from each other. The chains chased after Hinata.

"Akamaru, let's go!" Cried Kiba. "Man Beast Clones!" Kiba got down on all fours and Akamaru transformed himself into a clone of his partner, turning the two into exact copies of each other. "Fang Over Fang!"

The two allies attacked their target from opposite directions, expecting to tear right though him. Namahagetecno planted his feet firmly on the ground and thrust his hands out, stopping Kiba and Akamaru in their tracks. He tossed them aside with a flick of his wrists.

Lee watched in disbelief. 'How was he able to stop Akamaru and Kiba like that? This guy is tough; I'll need to do everything I can to win.' Lee dropped his weights onto the ground, charging toward Namahagetecno, "Leaf Hurricane!" He tried to hit Namahagetecno with his infamous kick attack, but the intruder simply blocked it with the palm of his hand, pushing Lee back.

'He reminds me of those overpowered OC's in fanfiction,' thought Neji. 'I think they were called 'Mary-Sues,' weren't they? No, the men are Gary-Stu's.' Neji tried to formulate a plan in his head. "8 Trigrams 256 Palms!" His hands flew as quickly as light, but Namahgetecno dodged them easily, as if he was playing a children's game. Neji couldn't even graze him.

Hinata fought off the chains that tried to ensnare her, but they would not relent. 'What does he want with me?' She wondered.

"Who are you?" Demanded Hiashi. "And what do you want with my daughter?"

Namahagetecno frowned. "I'm going to take her with me; it is my master's orders. As for who I am, my name is Namahagetecno."

"What does your master want with Hinata?" Neji growled.

Namahagetecno smiled this time, answering somewhat playfully, "That isn't for you to know just yet."

Tenten pulled out the end of her scroll, sending her weapons flying. Kunai, shuriken, scythes, and the like all poured out of the scroll. Namhagetecno bowed politely and caught a scythe in midair, using it to knock the other weapons away. "Thank you for the weapon," he said politely.

"You're welcome," she said in return. "But I'll be taking it back now," she tugged on a nearly invisible chakra thread, yanking the scythe away. She leapt into the air, pulling all the weapons with her for a second strike.

Namahagetecno's face was calm as the wave of weaponry fell upon him. "Ninja Art," he whispered, "Divine Influence."

A wave of nausea hit Tenten. She fell to the ground, holding her stomach in pain. She dropped all her weapons, unable to attack with them. She used what little energy she could muster to dismiss her weapons in a puff of smoke, not wanting Namahagetecno to turn them against her friends.

"Are you alright?" Neji asked.

Lee was worried about Tenten as well, but he turned his concern to anger, opening five of the eight inner gates. "What did you do to Tenten?" He roared, circling Namahagetecno quickly. "Ura Renge- Reverse Lotus!" He approached Namahagetecno from behind, intending to hit him with his most powerful technique.

Namahagetecno caught Lee by the wrist and tossed him aside easily.

Leaping toward Neji, Namahagetecno threw several rounds of ninja stars. Neji caught all the shuriken easily, and saw the roundhouse kick just as easily. "Kaiten!" He initiated his ultimate defensive technique, emitting chakra from his entire body and spinning rapidly. He intended to repel the attacker, but instead got caught in the chest by Namahagetecno's roundhouse kick.

Nobody could believe the Kaiten had been bested.

Hiashi took the stage. "8 Trigrams Endless Palms!" He cried, initiating the legendary attack. It was said that the attack would last until the enemy was defeated, but Namahagetecno would not allow either of Hiashi's palms the chance to touch him. But Hiashi wouldn't let up, and gave Namahagetecno no chance to escape.

"Ninja Art: Divine Influence!" He cried out once more. A lightning bolt fell from the sky, aimed at Hiashi.

The elite leader of the Hyuga clan had to leap backward to dodge the attack.

Then came the swarm.

While Namahgetecno focused on Hiashi, Shino's insects had snuck up behind him. They moved forward far too quickly for him to react, swallowing his body into their mass. When the insects departed, all they left was a wooden log.

'Substitution,' thought Hiashi. 'Then where's the real one.'

Everyone turned to see Namahagetecno, with Hinata in his hands.

…………….

To be continued

Hinta: So I'm being kidnapped?

DtecnoKira: Don't worry, you'll be okay. I promise they'll rescue you after a few chapters!

Hinata: How many is a few?

DtecnoKira: Depends on the reviews. I want to know if the readers want me to focus on this storyline for a little while, or alternate between your rescue and the faux fanfiction.

Naruto: The story is called **Naruto **Online. It's a**Naruto **fanfiction. How come I'm not in this chapter?

DtecnoKira: Relax, you will be in it soon.


	14. Tãietorul de Suflet

A/N: It's late, I'm tired and lazy, so I won't spell check…sorry. I may fix any spelling and grammatical errors later.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Fullmetal Alchemist or the concept of Equivalent Exchange that comes from FMA!

DtecnoKira: If anyone is interested, I have a story called Chaos From the Sky written under my BoogiepopShippuden account. You can read it if you want.

Sakura: Stop advertising your stories! That one doesn't even have any plot! The characters just fight lame battles that end in a few paragraphs!

Naruto: Yay, I'm in this chapter!

Namahagetecno: Why'd I get cut out of your other story, Mt. Raven High?

DtecnoKira: You were never in it, just the name Namahagetecno.

Namahagetecno: I feel sad.

Naruto: Hey, we don't have any room for any more emo characters.

Sai: My interview story sucks, any tips on how to write a good one.

DtecnoKira: Yes, those tips would really be nice, I need some help with that.

Neji: Why doesn't anyone like my story?

DtecnoKira: I don't know, I guess they just don't like the fairytale style I gave you. I tried hard to mimic it; I shouldn't have cut corners at the end. Maybe the writing style just plain sucked. I'll try even harder with your next one.

Neji: Very well, let's punish the readers with a SCRIPT!

Sai: Can I do an interview story?

DtecnoKira: I guess, but you'll need a penname.

Sai: I will be…..Penname Here.

DtecnoKira: No offense to FemHaku writers, I have nothing against it. I just think Haku would.

Please remember to hit review!

…………………..

Namahagetecno, (A/N: who has a name so long its becoming annoying to write and so thus shall now be on occasion shortened to Namahage) held Hinata in his hands. He had assumed he had won, but his hostage transformed into a swarm of bugs and flew away.

"So I see you switched her with an Insect Clone," Namahage smiled. "This battle is a lot more fun then I thought it would be."

………………………….

Sai's Story- Interview Script!

_Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, if I did, Sasuke would shut up and let Tobi finish!_

……………………

_Sai's Interview Story_

_Penname Here: Thank you all for coming and welcome to my show. Today I will be interviewing my good friends Haku and Zabuza. Now, the first question on everyone's mind is; are you two gay?_

_Zabuza: No, we are not gay. I love Haku yes, but only as a daugh…I mean son. I love him like a father, not like a gay pedophile who can't get a girlfriend._

_PH: Nice to see you've finally come to understand the concept of love. Congratulations are due._

_Zabuza: What's that supposed to mean?_

_PH: Just that I'm happy you've learned to be kind. I was worried that you were abusing Haku._

_Zabuza: I admit, I may have abused him mentally a bit, I'm ashamed of that, but I have never abused him physically_..._ or sexually either. I have no idea where people got that idea.  
_

_PH: Is there anything you would like to say to anyone who calls you gay?_

_Zabuza: Yes, I'm going to make Haku kill you. Don't make me make Haku make you not alive._

_PH: Haku, you haven't said much. Would you like to say anything?_

_Haku: I am a BOY! Stop turning me into a GIRL. I don't like it! What the Hell is up with FemHaku?_

_Zabuza: I agree; it is disgusting._

_Haku: I will kill anyone who I catch writing FemHaku! If you want to add three letters to my name, make them S-A-N! I demand respect! Make me a girl and I'll make you a_ _dead girl._

_PH: What if the writer is a male._

_Haku: I'll still make them a dead girl._

_PH: Now, Haku, why do you dress like a girl?_

_Haku: I dress in the clothes Zabuza gives me._

_Zabuza: Don't look at me like that! I bought him those clothes because they were on sale, and he said he could move around in them more easily. Speed is his greatest weapon and I didn't wish to hinder it. _

_PH: …….I'm out of questions. Damn this sucks!_

_Zabuza: I'm going then._

_Haku: Me too._

_PH: Well, that's it for now._

_So, who should I interview next?_

………………….

BoogiepopShippuden

_That wasn't too bad. I think that you should interview Sai next!_

………………….

Sai read the review. 'That would be interesting,' he thought. 'Interviewing myself.'

…………………….

Namahage took a deep breath. "Looks like I may have to use _that _Jutsu," he said vaguely. The way he referred to it as _that _Jutsu, indicated that it was an important and special technique to him, but revealed nothing about its powers or capabilities. This told you just enough but not to much, making you want to find out what would happen. Unfortunately, I'm cutting away now.

………………..

"No, Naruto," Haku explained gently. "You're OC is too powerful, Naruto-kun. People don't like it when OC's are too powerful, tone him down a little."

"Okay, Haku-sensei," said Naruto. He deleted a few lines in his character's profile, and started over.

……………………….

Choji threw his head down in despair, the story hadn't come out the way he hoped it would. "Should I try to improve it or just start over?" He wondered aloud. "I'm just not feeling it." He looked it over once more. "Maybe I should just post it."

………….

Choji's Story

_Chapter 1- Blue Eyes_

_Hinata stepped onto the stage, holding her breath. It wasn't the first time she'd sung in front of a large audience, but it was still nerve-wracking. These were her fans. They'd bought her CD's and fallen in love with her music. They were expecting her to perform well, and she didn't want to let them down. This had been her life long dream and here she was, but the nineteen-year-old still felt empty inside._

_She held the microphone to her lips as the band began to play. She began to sing, pouring her heart and soul into the song, forming a message that conveyed her love, or so she hoped._

………

_Love in my Heart Sings_

_Vocals of You_

_Shining into the Night_

_Lost in Your Eyes of Blue_

……_._

_It's been so Long Since I've Seen You_

_Do You Remember Me at All?_

_The Days we Used to Spend Together_

_Doing Nothing at the Mall_

……

_She watched the crowd cheering as she sang. 'I can't break down now, they're all watching me.' However, the song was a bittersweet one for her, always reminding her of one of the biggest mistakes she'd ever made in her life. _

………_.._

_It Didn't Matter if we did Nothing_

_Simply Being with you was Enough for Me_

_I Hope You've had a Happy Life_

_Oh, how I Wish That I Could See_

………

_We Were so Close_

_Now We're so far Apart_

_But I Still See You at Night_

_In the Dreams of my Heart_

_Where are You Now_

_I Wish I Could be There Too_

_Just to be at Your Side_

_With Nothing to Do_

……_.._

_When so much in your life goes right, equivalent exchange dictates that something must go wrong. He was that something. When she was little, Hinata had been in love with a boy, but her shyness forbade her from saying anything. They had known each other for a short year after he moved into the neighborhood. They hung out together all the time, but then her family moved._

'_We only knew each other for a year,' she thought sadly, 'I wonder if he remembers me at all.'_

………_.._

_When the Rainstorms Came_

_You Held out Your Umbrella for Me_

_I Wish I Told You Then_

_I Love You, Can't You See?_

…_.._

_Why did I Have to be so Quiet Then_

_Why Couldn't I Just Open my Mouth_

_My Silence Then Now Makes_

_Now Makes me Want to Shout_

……_.._

_I Still Love You Even Now_

_Your Name Echoes in My Heart_

_I Wonder Can You Hear me Calling_

_Though We're Worlds Apart_

……_.._

_You are the One_

_That I think of at Night_

_In the Dark_

_You are my Guiding Light_

_When I Close my Eyes_

_You are There In my Dream_

_You're my Everything_

………_._

_When You Smiled_

_I Think I Sank in Your Eyes of Blue_

_I Knew it at First Glance_

_I was in Love With You_

……

_But my Heart_

_Was so Dumb and Shy_

_It Wouldn't Let me Say a Word_

_It Made me Want to Cry_

……_._

_Hinata prepared herself for the bridge to the second chorus. She struggled to stifle the tears in her eyes. She had to give her sound like she was whispering for the next part._

……_.._

_I Wish I Hadn't _

_Been Silent all Those Times_

_When I Could Have Said _

_A Simple I Love You_

………

_You are the One_

_That I think of at Night_

_In the Dark_

_You are my Guiding Light_

_When I Close my Eyes_

_You are There In my Dream_

_You're my Everything_

……

_The next part annoyed her so much. It seemed too cheesy, but her manager insisted she include it .It seemed unworthy of what she felt about Naruto._

……………

_You're my First love_

_The Only Person I Dream of_

_My First Love_

_(My First Love)_

_Together We Can Rise Above_

_Into the Sky_

_You Hold my Heart so High_

_Without You I Think I'd Die_

_I Wish That You Were Mine_

'_Cause You Help me Shine_

……………………

_You are the One_

_That I think of at Night_

_In the Dark_

_You are my Guiding Light_

_When I Close my Eyes_

_You are There In my Dream_

_You're my Everything_

_You are the One_

_That I think of at Night_

_In the Dark_

_You are my Guiding Light_

_When I Close my Eyes_

_You are There In my Dream_

_You're my Everything_

………………………………_._

_The song was finally over; the concert was finished. Her fans cheered for her as she said good-bye. It was another song that should have made her happy. To sing was her dream. But what good is having everything you've ever wanted at the cost of your heart? Hinata sighed, heading out to the limo._

"_Great job," said her manager, Kurenai Yuhi, the crowd loved it. Their reaction to your new song was unbelievable. The fans went wild," Kurenai paused, noticing that something was wrong. "Is something bothering you Hinata?"_

_It was obvious from the look on her face that Hinata was lost in thought. "I'm sorry," she said suddenly. She spun around and ran back toward the stage, stunning her loyal bodyguards Shino and Kiba._

_Shino, Kiba, and Kurenai all chased after Hinata, calling for her to wait up. Despite being in excellent physical condition, not even Shino and Kiba could keep up with their client._

'_I'm sure of it,' thought Hinata, 'When I was singing my last song I could see him in the crowd.'_

_The members of the audience were still walking out of the auditorium slowly, many were chatting away on their cell phones while others were kissing their dates. 'I'm sure it was him.'_

_She had denied it at first; she didn't want to get her hopes up for nothing. But the thought nagged at the back of her mind, refusing to die. A possibility as dim as an ember was now a raging fire of hope in her heart. 'Please don't have left yet.'_

_She scanned the crowd of people that were pouring out of the auditorium, hoping he would still be there. They were after all, selling merchandise; it wouldn't be that strange if he hadn't left yet._

_She found the person she was looking for, her childhood friend Naruto. Hinata's face lit up for a moment then turned to a frown. He was holding the hand of another girl._

_Though he was far away, Hinata could focus enough to hear what they said._

"_I'm really glad you agreed to go out with me, Sakura."_

"_Me too Naruto."_

_Hinata could feel her heart break._

………………………………_._

It was meant to be a chaptered story, but he couldn't think of a next chapter. It would make a decent one shot though, albeit a sad one. Probably not the greatest story around, but not the worst.

………………….

"Ninja Art!" Cried Namahagetecno.

……………………..

"Not bad Naruto," said Haku. "You're certainly getting better. Now, we need to interrupt your training and do some weird random thing that just happens to have us pass by the Hyuga Mansion."

"Why?" Naruto asked.

"Because that's how we're supposed to move the plot forward."

………………

"Summoning Jutsu:" continued Namahagetecno. He bit his finger and made some handsigns.

The other ninja braced themselves for the worst.

…………………

Naruto and Haku walked down the street, casually strolling through town with nowhere to go.

………………………

Ino sank into her chair, holding her laptop steady on her lap. She was reading a really touching SasuIno, wishing her dream could be reality. The story was great, but the introduction was heart breaking.

_I love this couple, it's so great. _

The author's words made Ino happy at first, then she read on.

_I know it will never happen but I still love it anyway! : )  
_

Those words broke her heart.

_I know it will never happen..._

………………..

"Tãietorul de Suflet." Namahagetecno finished, pulling a weapon out of the ground. It was a beautiful glowing sword with an ornate handle and a bluish silver blade. "This is my ultimate weapon," he explained. "Give up now!"

………………

To Be Continued

Please Review!

So what did you think?

Do you have any advice for writing a better interview story? I'm not so good at them.

What did you think of Choji's story?

The next chapter will probably be focused on the fight. Can Naruto stop Namahagetecno!

Just who is Namahagetecno's master?

What does he want with Hinata?

What does the Tãietorul de Suflet do?

God, I hope I didn't make too many errors in this chapter!


	15. Please Visit my Forum!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto!

DtecnoKira: Thanks again, Disclaimer!

Disclaimer: You're welcome!

Naruto: Wait, now the disclaimer is a character! You call that a joke! That's stupid.

Disclaimer: Fine! I'll' just be boring if that's how you like it! DtecnoKira does not own Naruto!

Please visit my profile page. I've posted a link to a special forum where we can discuss this story, chat, or play games. You can even make suggestions for what kinds of stories you want to see! Please join me….after you read and review.

Naruto: So here's today's chapter.

DtecnoKira: There is no chapter, only an ad.

Sakura: your readers will be expecting a chapter, they'll be mad if you don't write one.

DtecnoKira: Fine, how about this instead!

Namahagetecno: Please note that DtecnoKira plans to have a few upcoming chapters with no faux fanfiction, So that is why we have so many of these entire chapter stories.

Marty: I would also like to apologize to any SasuHina fans out there.

……………..

Choji's AU

Chapter 2 Heartbreak

"Hinata, are you alright?" Asked the singer's bodyguard, he knocked on her door again. Kiba was starting to grow worried; Hinata hadn't left her room in over a day, not even to eat. It would be one thing if she was at least eating, but she wouldn't accept any of the gourmet meals that her personal cook prepared for her, not even her favorites. Turning to Shino, Kiba let out a sad sigh, "What do you think happened to her? Is she okay?"

"She is not okay. Why? Because her heart was broken at the concert."

"What?" Gasped Kiba in surprise, "What happened?"

………..

Hinata cried into her pillow, remembering the events of that night.

……………………………………………..

"Oh my God," exclaimed Sakura as she saw Hinata heading her way. "It's her," she squealed, "Its Hyuga Hinata!" The pink haired girl sprang toward the singer. "Can I have your autograph?" She begged, handing over a pen as well as the poster she had just bought. It was one from a recent concert appearance Hinata made alongside the hit rock band Hebi. In it, Hinata and Sasuke faced eachother, holding hands in an _almost _romantic way.

"Who do I make it out to?" Hinata asked, feigning joy. 'You always have to keep your fans happy,' she reminded herself.

"Please make it out to Sakura," Hinata's fan asked. "I'm so excited; I can't believe I'm actually getting to meet you. So are the rumors true? Are you really dating the lead singer of Hebi?"

"Sorry to disappoint you," Hinata said, forcing a painful smile, "but Sasuke and I are just friends. I honestly have no idea what started all the SasuHina rumors."

"That's too bad," said Sakura. "You two would make such a great couple."

"So who's that boy with you?" Hinata asked, ready to do some digging. "Is he your boyfriend?"

Sakura hugged Naruto enthusiastically, "Yup. His name is Naruto and he's your biggest fan!"

Naruto blushed slightly, "Well, I wouldn't say biggest."

Sakura laughed. "Are you kidding me? You have all her merchandise. You buy three of every T-Shirt you can get your hands on, just in case one gets dirty, or you feel like wearing one three days in a row. You are _obsessed._ You even made a Hinata website!"

Hinata struggled not to laugh at the irony. 'Naruto is obsessed with me. All this time I've been obsessed with him.' But each second weighed heavily on her as she grew sadder and sadder. It was becoming quite obvious that Naruto had forgotten her completely.

…………

Hinata turned back the clock in her mind even further, back to a childhood memory.

She and Naruto were strolling through the mall. They were only twelve years old, so their parents weren't far behind, but they gave their children their space.

Naruto was talking enthusiastically about a new game he was waiting for while Hinata hung to his every word. He was the only friend she had; all the other kids ignored her. But he was the only one she had to talk to, and she loved him for that.

"What do you want to be when you grow up?" Hinata asked out of the blue.

"I dunno," Naruto answered honestly. "What about you?"

"I'm going to be a singer," Hinata answered. "People will listen to my music all across the world and they'll all come to my concerts. That way they won't ignore me anymore." She turned her head down. "But you can't tell anyone, they'd all make fun of me."

"Okay, I promise I won't tell anyone. But you have to promise that you won't ever forget me."

……………..

'Looks like in the end, you forgot me,' Hinata continued to cry into her pillow. She wasn't planning to be sad all day, far from it. This was just a temporary set back.

'But what do I do?' She entertained the thought of breaking the couple apart, but that was far too mean. She could never do such a thing.

The tears finally stopped. 'At least I got to see him again, and I know where he lives. After all, I gave them a ride back to their place in my limo.' Thogh the thought of the man she loved living with the girl he liked was a little saddening, Hinata smiled. She planned to rekindle her old friendship.

To Be Continued

…………………

Naruto: Well, that wasn't all that great, IMO.

DtecnoKira: Well, it wasn't that bad.

Choji: It kind of went downhill after the first chapter, plus if you post this, people will expect more.

DtecnoKira: It could still make a nice twoshot.

Naruto: You know Hinata is too nice to break up a couple, and you have no way of breaking the NaruSasu up…..you can't pull it off.

Haku: Use Hebi!

DtecnoKira: Good idea, thanks Haku-san.

Karin: When am I going to show up!?

DtecnoKira: Maybe later!


	16. Timp Limită Încuiat Inimă!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

DtecnoKira: I've switched this from Humor/Parody to Humor/Romance for now, just to see what other kinds of readers I get. I'll be changing the category every so often from now on.

Choji: Weird time to switch to romance, considering its all action right now.

DtecnoKira: For more stories about Naruto characters writing Fanfiction, check out Konoha Invades Fanfiction! by LuigiFreak. You can find it under my Favorite Stories on my Profile page. While you're there, be sure to check out some other stories too.

Anyway, I'm a little confused about Sai. Is he still a part of ANBU? I know Roots got disbanded, but I'm not sure if he is or isn't part of the regular ANBU. For the intents and purposes of this story, he shall be.

DtecnoKira: I apologize for my author's notes in this chapter and for neji's joke (You'll see.) If you think I should avoid this kind of humor, let me know in a review (please do so kindly) and I'll try my best. Please note that I will be inserting myself as a character soon. I know a lot of people hate that but it is very important to the plot line. I also apologize if Orochimaru's penname,_ OrochimaruisNOTgay_, is taken.

…………………….

The Tãietorul de Suflet shone brightly in Namahagetecno's hand as he tightened his grip on the weapon. Hyuga Hiashi looked the invader directly in the eyes. "Leave now and I shall spare you," Hiashi said dramatically. Namahagetecno stood his ground, his will unwavering.

"First Movement- Linden Rei!" Namahagetecno cried out, bringing the weapon down. He unleashed a wave of blue chakra upon Hiashi, enough to tear through the ground, creating a large fissure.

'This is going to be terrible for the Hyuga estate,' Hiashi thought to himself. "Kaiten!" Using his chakra as a shield, he rotated quickly, bouncing the attack away from himself. The wave of blue chakra dispersed, creating several large trenches in the yard. "It will take more than that to beat a Hyuga."

"It will take more than a pitiful overrated defense to beat me," warned Namahagetecno. He grabbed a few shuriken from his holster and threw them toward Tenten.

'Is he mocking me?' The Kunoichi wondered. 'With all the attacks he has, he's using shuriken against me?' She countered with her own shuriken, straight from the scroll. Instead of the shuriken negating each other and falling to the ground as they normally would, Namahagetecno's shuriken sliced through Tenten's. The Kunoichi was stunned by this and almost forgot to jump. She leapt into the air at the last second, avoiding the attack. She jumped out of the frying pan and into the fire, Namahagetecno was at her side in a fraction of a second.

Tenten tried to manipulate her body in midair to block Namahage's attack, but she couldn't turn quickly enough. She felt his foot slam into her back, knocking her to the ground.

One thing confused Neji. 'Why didn't he aim that attack at Tenten, Lee, Kiba, or Shino? They'd have no way of blocking it.'

……………………….

Sai let out a sigh (A/N: My favorite pun.)

Sakura: Who cares about your author's note? Stick with the story!

DtecnoKira: Sheesh, okay, stop interrupting!

Sai let out a sigh as he tried to make a decision, start an ask fic or continue the interviews. He was a powerful ninja, but doing both seemed a bit overwhelming. 'No,' he thought. 'I can handle the challenge.'

………………

Sai's Interview Story

_PH: Okay I'm back again. Today we will be interviewing one of the most popular and well loved characters in the series, Sai!_

_Sai: Thank you for having me on this show._

_PH: Not at all, it is a pleasure to have you here._

_Sai: Please note that all questions relating to my duties as a member of ANBU or of the disbanded Roots organization will have to go unanswered, because that is top-secret information._

_PH: So what can you tell us about yourself?_

_Sai: Well…….i…… I like to draw._

_PH: Is that it?_

_Sai: Well, I'm trying to make friends, but that doesn't seem to be going well._

_PH: Care to elaborate?_

_Sai: Once when Naruto was frightened, I tried to comfort him by gently placing my hand on his shoulder, but he was offended, I don't know why._

_PH: It must be because he's weird. Now, lots of people see your constant talking about Naruto's as a sign of your homosexuality. How would you like to respond to that?_

_Sai: That's stupid._

_PH: Care to elaborate?_

_Sai: No, it's just stupid. I'm not gay, they are._

_PH: Yes, they are. You are clearly straight. I have no idea where anyone got the idea that any Naruto character is gay…well, Kabuto and Orochimaru I can understand._

_Sai: Sasuke acts pretty gay to, running off to be with his beloved Orochimaru._

_Sakura: Hey! Sasuke is not gay! Shannaro!_

_PH: Quick, run! It's the angry (bleep) of the West!_

_(We are currently experiencing technical difficulties, please return later.)_

………………

Sai got started on another document!

…………………..

Sai's Ask Fic!

_Penname Here: Okay, welcome to my first ask fic._

_Go ahead and hit the review button and leave your questions here. Don't expect any serious answers though, but I'll try to make them funny……..any tips?_

_Oh, and the first guests of our story will be Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke! We'll do a different set of guests each chapter, and once in a while we'll bring back old guests for readers who missed out the first time around._

_So hit review and ask us your questions, you know you want to!_

_Naruto: This is boring, I'm going to IchiRaku._

_Sasuke: yeah, This is pointless!_

………………………_._

DtecnoKira: The rules for asking questions will be presented at the END of this chapter.

…………………

Lee took out the small ball of chocolate. 'Gai-sensei, I must protect my friends.' He removed the foil wrapper and swallowed the chocolate candy whole, his face distorted with disgust. 'You said this could help in life threatening situations, and Hinata-chan's life is in danger.'

He had no idea the chocolate was made with saké.

Lee felt his body turn limp (A/N: I'm 18 I've never been drunk, I don't know how to describe it, OKAY? Leave me alone j/k) His mind grew hazy as the actions he took turned to a more fluid form of fighting. He charged toward Namahagetecno with a goofy look on his face. "What're you being SO MEAN for?" –Hiccup- "You should just go a LEAVE US ALONE!"

His fists and legs flew at such awesome speed that Namahagetecno barely had time to dodge. The invader struggled to keep balance as his body twisted and turned. 'This is harder than I thought,' Namahagetecno wasn't worried though. He had faith all would go well.

Neji watched in amazement. 'Lee's opened five gates, removed his weights, and gotten drunk! This has never happened before….at least not in the current cannon. Who knows what could happen later, which would still be before now.'

………………

Sakura: That was a lame joke, having Sasuke reference the manga.

Naruto: Yeah.

Naota: I agree.

Naruto: What are you doing here?

Sakura: Yeah! When did this become an FLCL X-Over?

Disclaimer: I don't own FLCL

…………………..

Orochimaru read the story by Penname Here with disgust.

He left an angry flame.

_OrochimaruisNOTgay_

_Are you crazy? You are an idiot! Kabuto and Orochimaru are not gay! You are stupid, I am never reading your stories again!_

Penname Here responded very quickly.

_Like I care if you read my stories or not. By the way, Orochimaru is super gay!_

…………………

Lee continued his flurry of attacks as Namahagetecno continued to dodge. 'This is insane,' thought the invader. Things weren't going quite as he had expected. 'I have to do something. I can't believe they've forced me to go this far. I have to use my next attack!'

Namahagetecno leapt backwards and held out his in front of him. The tip of the blade rested comfortably against the palm of his left hand. "Second Movement!" He cried. "Timp Limită Încuiat Inimă!" A blue wave of light washed over Lee, freezing him in place for just a second. It was enough for Namahagetecno to pierce his heart.

…………………..

Orochimaru received the reply. Thus did begin the flame war.

…………………(FLAME WAR)

_OrochimaruisNOTgay_

_You are (bleep) retarded Sai is super gay. Orochimaru is straight. Just because he is a bishie that doesn't mean he is gay._

_Penname Here_

_Sai isn't gay you're insane. And Orochimaru-staright? Maybe as straight as the letter S. Oro is definitely gay, you're in denial._

_OrochimaruisNOTgay_

_Go to Hell, you suck. Sai is gay. He looked at Naruto's (bleep)._

………………………………

Lee fell to the ground in pain. Though the sword had pierced his heart, there was no wound. "My blade does not cut; it simply steals your stamina and chakra. But don't think that means my attacks aren't deadly," he warned them. "If you let my Linden Rei hit you, rest assured you'll be in a body bag soon after."

Neji thought quickly, 'We'll need help.' He turned to Tenten, "Throw as many of your Kunai into the sky as high as you can."

……………….

Haku and Naruto saw Tenten's Kunai flying over the Hyuga estate. "That must be a distress signal," Haku surmised, we need to help!"

………………….

TBC

.

.

.

.

Rules for Sai's Ask fic.

Type something along the lines of Question for Sai's Story in the review.

Tell me whom you are asking the question.

Remember, **_you are not supposed to know that Penname Here is actually Sai_**, so treat him like a normal author.

I'll do the second chapter of the ask story either when I have enough reviews to make a chapter, or when enough time has elapsed. The regular story will remain unaffected by the number of reviews and proceed as planned.

……………………………..

A/N: Don't forget to check out my forum!


	17. F14m3 W4r5 & 1337

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

Thanks MioneRocks for actively posting in the forums.

And more thanks to everyone else who visited as well.

Please visit everybody, if you have the time. We have games to play, and anyone can start a new thread.

Oh yeah, Orochimaru is discovering the joys of 1337!

Please note that I'm not experienced with ask fics, so I'm not sure how to give the funniest response. I'll be working on it though, and the ask fic should be up sometime soon.

SPECIAL NOTE REGARDING SASUKE'S STORY

Sasuke is writing a oneshot, but he's taking his time. I will post different pieces of the oneshot during different chapters.

Now, I have a question. Once it is done, should I post a completed version of it as a new chapter?

Well, on with the story.

………………………….

………………………….

………………………….

………………………….

Sai read his reviews. 'Well, the first chapter was meant to be about Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura only, but I think I'll just include everyone at once. And what's with this question? Why don't I say Vagina more often? Why would I want to say that? I could offend someone and they could call me a sexist. sakura would kill me. Besides, it's much more fun to talk about Naruto's (Bleep). It's just so fun to tease him about it.' Sai read more questions. Mione asked Sasuke if he was gay, I'm sure I can give Sasuke an angry reaction and make it funny. Should I have Itachi respond to Spidey's question? That would mean I'd have Spoilers in my story just to answer one question, and I could lose reviewers. Wow, do I really talk about Naruto's (Bleep) that much?'

One review stood out more than the others did, a flame from OrochimaruisNOTgay.

………………

_OrochimaruisNOTgay_

_U 5uck Penname Here. URA 1cl107. 13u7 1 w111 b3 n1c3 and a5k UA qu35710n._

_Orochimaru, YRU so 4w350m3. U pwn 3v3r31. U Rox! Orochimaru-dono UR 734 6r347357! 174CI-I1 U 607 pwn3d!_

(Translation)

You suck, Penname Here. You are an idiot. But I will be nice and ask you a question. Orochimaru, why are you so awesome. You pwn everyone. You rock. Lord Orochimaru, you are the greatest.

Itachi, you got pwned.

………_.._

'My God,' thought Sai. 'The idiot's learned leet. This could be disastrous.'

He typed his response.

_Speak properly, bakatare-teme! _

_If you don't like me bashing the pedophile, then don't read what I write! Do you even have a life?_

Sai was normally not one to get so emotional, but he didn't know any other was do deal with an annoying reviewer. He hadn't yet learned how to block them.

…………………

_OrochimaruisNOTgay_

_Y35 I 1-14V3 4 L1F3! UR 731-1 1 W171-1 no L1F3!_

(Translation)

Yes, I have a life. You're the one with no life.

………………………_._

Sai hit a few buttons on the keyboard, typing an angry response.

_Orochimaru probably had a threesome with Sasuke ad Kabuto._

…………………….

_OrochimaruisNOTgay_

_Sai pr0b4b1Y 1-14cl 4 350m3 w171-1 54564Y 4ncl N4ru70._

(Translation)

Sai probably had a threesome with Sasgay and Naruto.

…………………………..

Sasuke began to type his story.

……………….

Sasuke's Story- Four Ninja Left

Summary

Four ninja left the village that day. Three returned. ??xSakura. Warning: Character Death.

.

_It started just like any other day. It was a simple mission for the four-man squad. Naruto, Sasuke, Sai, and Sakura were told to transport a load of goods from the Leaf Village to the Cave Village. The two had recently formed an alliance and this was a sign of goodwill from the Leaf._

_It was just an ordinary mission. It should have been nothing. How could a mission so simple in nature be a problem for three of the village's greatest ninja?_

_The four ninja never expected things to go so horribly wrong._

_Four ninja left the village, but only three were destined to return._

………………_.._

"_Naruto, slow down," complained Sakura. _

_The orange ninja had excitedly run ahead of the group. "Come on, Sakura-chan," he said to the pink haired Jonin. "You're a ninja, can't you keep up?" He teased playfully._

"_Not even ninja can run that fast with all the cargo we've got," explained Sakura._

_It was an ordinary mission. Naruto was acting like an idiot, Sakura was scolding him, and Sasuke tried to ignore the stupidity._

_Sai read from his little book. "When two of your friends are arguing, try not to take sides. Try to get them to see each others points of view." He turned to the bickering ninja. "Sakura, Naruto's just a little excited. We are going to a newly formed village after all. And Naruto, can't you slow down a bit, we're not as fast as you." He tried to compliment Naruto, thinking it would help._

"_I'm just as fast as Naruto," Sakura complained, "But I just don't feel like wasting my energy. What if enemy ninja attack?"_

"_Right, sorry Sakura," Sai apologized._

"_Who cares if enemy ninja attack," Naruto joked. "I'll beat them all before you can blink!"_

"_And when Naruto-kun is getting his ass handed to him, I'll save him, just like in the old days." Sasuke replied._

_Naruto frowned at his rival._

_They had no idea of the disaster they were heading towards._

_Four ninja left that day but only three would return._

……………………………

Satisfied with what he had written so far, Sasuke saved his work and took a break, deciding to read some fanfiction.

…………………

Shikamaru still hadn't written anything, he was far too lazy. He had instead decided to read a few stories.

'Shougi by Gabubi-baka, ... sounds interesting,' he thought. He read the story, it was short but it was really good. Good enough to make the lazy ass ninja write an actual review.

_I like your story._

It wasn't much, but it was still a review from the lazy ass Shikamaru. If he can do it, why do so many people have trouble hitting that review button?

……………

Sakura: Stop begging for reviews, it annoys people!

……………………

Sai tried to think of another interview to write. He wanted to wait to see if he could get a few more reviews for his ask fic, but he wanted to continue the interview story. Unfortunately, he had writer's block. Therefore, he instead decided to write a truth or dare story.

………………….

Naruto and Haku burst into the Hyuga estate, ready to leap into action.

…………….

To Be Continued!

Okay, I'll try to have the Truth or dare Story up soon. The As fic should be up soon as well, as soon as I can think of some funny responses.

Sorry its so short, the net one should be longer.

Which do you want first. The Truth or Dare story or more of the battle against Namahagetecno?


	18. Namahage's Third Movement

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

Sorry but I'm too lazy to proof read.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto…..or Boogiepop.

DtecnoKira: Okay, today, the first battle against Namahagetecno should come to an end.

The Truth or Dare Story _should _be up soon. Truth be told, I'm struggling with all three of Sai's stories, same with Hinata, Kiba, Sasuke, and Choji's. But I plan to continue them eventually.

Naruto: That's because you suck.

Author's Note: Just a friendly reminder to everyone at my forum, thanks for visiting, but don't forget, you are allowed to create your own topics, even ones to talk about your own Naruto stories!

Awesome, this story has been C2ed! Thanks, LuigiFreak!

NOTES REGARDING THE ASK STORY

All questions for the ask story must now be posted in the forum, so that they're easier to find.

Sorry if I forgot any questions, they're so hard to keep track of.

Also, regarding the Namahagetecno story line- It is not a faux fanfiction. To spice things up I added a second story line besides the fanfiction one. Don't worry, I'm

…………………..

Namahagetecno engaged Naruto in a staring contest. "So the hero has finally arrived," he stated mockingly.

Naruto, though having only just arrived, immediately understood the situation. This creep was attacking, and he was pwning everyone. Naruto couldn't stand to see his friends in danger.

Namahagetecno pointed his sword at Naruto. "Hinata, if you value the life of this boy, than come with me now."

Hinata pondered her choice for mere moments before she spoke out. "I'd do anything to protect my friends, but giving myself up to save Naruto is like saying I have no faith in him! He's the future Hokage, there's no way he'd lose to you!"

Naruto was already sure he'd win, but Hinata's words instilled even more confidence in the young ninja. A smile broke out on his face.

………………

"Master, for what purpose did you create Mary-Sue?" Marty asked. "Namahagetecno is strong enough isn't he? There isn't a soul alive who could beat him. Sure the members of the Akatsuki are tough, but they've all died recently, wiped out by a strange epidemic of heart attacks."

"You're wrong," said the master. "Naruto is strong enough to beat Namahage-dono. Some people may not realize it, but Naruto is a really powerful warrior, and he grows stronger every day. He may not show the strategic brilliance of Shikamaru, but he can formulate plans in the middle of a fight, plans strong enough to defeat any foe. He did beat Neji during the Chunin Exams after all. Now please, stop calling me master."

"As you wish, BoogiepopShippuden."

………………………..

Naruto: So this is the self-insert?

Me: Yeah.

Sakura: You're the evil villain?

Me: Yeah.

Sakura: Shannaro!

………………….

Sai let out a sigh as he completed his next chapter. He hoped Sakura would understand that it was all in the sake of humor. 'I hope nobody minds the Spoilers, I better add a warning to the summary.'

Sai's Ask Fic

………………

_PH: Thank you all for being here today._

_Naruto: Yeah, I'm here, just like you said, now where's the ramen I was promised?_

_PH: There isn't any!_

_Naruto: WTH! You ass! I want my ramen!_

_PH: Relax, if you are a good boy and do everything I say, then I'll treat you to IchiRaku when this is all over._

_Naruto: IchiRaku, yay! The only thing I love more than ramen is Sakura-chan!_

_Sakura: Shut up Naruto!_

_PH: That brings us to one of our first questions, Sakura, why are you such a to Naruto. He's only trying to be nice to you and you go ballistic!_

_Sakura: Shannaro! I'm gonna kill you!_

_-Sakura begins chasing PennameHere around the room-_

_PH: Leave me alone, crazy psychopath, it was just a question. One of our readers wanted to know!_

_Sakura: Oh yeah, I demand you tell me who!_

_PH: I refuse to endanger the safety of my readers!_

_Sakura: Tell me or I'll crush your (bleep) !_

_PH: Okay, okay, it was BoogiepopShippuden._

_Sakura: BoogiepopShippuden, if I ever see you, you're dead!_

_PH: Okay, the next one is for, Sasuke. Are you really gay, or do you just act like it?_

_Sasuke reaches out to begin choking PennameHere._

_Sasuke: Tell me._

_PH: Ttell yyyou wha?_

_Sasuke: Who asked that question! I will kill him and feed him his own heart._

_PH: Ccraaap, ifff I diiie, ththen nooo, raaa._

_Naruto: Sasuke-teme, let him go or else I won't get any ramen._

_-Naruto falls on all fours as two tails and ears made of chakra begin to appear-_

_-Sasuke let's go of PennameHere-_

_PH: Crap, I can't afford the repairs I would need if Naruto goes berserk, guess its time to ask the next question. Sasuke, someone wants to know this. If the Mangekyo Sharingan can control biju, can you control Naruto? Boogiepop wants to know._

_Sasuke: Let's find out! Mangekyo Sharingan!_

_Naruto begins to do the chicken dance. _

_Sasuke: I guess I can._

_Sakura: Of course you can! Sasuke-kun is so awesome._

_PH: The next question is from Spidey3000, for Sasuke. he wants to know if you know about Kakashi's Mangekyo?_

_Sasuke: Who cares if he has the Mangekyo…mine is better!_

_Sasuke runs to the emo corner._

_Naruto: What's up with him._

_PH: I suspect that he's upset that Kakashi was able to learn the Mangekyo Sharingan, even though he couldn't. _

_Naruto: I thought he did._

_PH: Nope, it was just a gift from his big brother, isn't that so sweet? Anyway, Spidey had a comment for Itachi and advice for Orochimaru, so we're going to try to find a way to bring their ghosts back in the next chapter. The next question is for Sai, people want to know why you're obsessed with male organs, and why you don't talk about female organs more._

_Sai: No comment._

_PH: I was afraid that might happen. Ibiki, take him away._

_-Ibiki appears to drag Sai away for an interrogation-_

_PH: Hopefully we'll have an answer by next chapter. Next is oh crap, IBIKI, DON"T FORGET TO ASK ABOUT ROOT! Sorry about that, someone wants to know how Sai got into Root. Okay, kagescorpion wants to know if I think Naruto can defeat the Akatsuki, wait, is he asking me or someone else, I can't tell._

_Naruto: Is that even a question! Of course I'll defeat them! I've already pwned the guy with five hearts, what-was-his-name, Kookyzoo?_

_PH: Okay, mewmewgodess wants to ask Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura all the same question Which character do you think is gay._

_Naruto: Orochimaru and Kabuto._

_Sakura: Definitely those two._

_Sasuke: ………………_

_PH: (Sigh) He's still in his emo corner. Anyway, she said besides those two, because it's so obvious they're gay._

_Sakura: Then the entire Akatsuki. They all wear purple nail polish, they've got to be gay! Well, except Konan, if she really is a girl._

_Naruto: Definitely Sasuke._

_Sasuke: Chidori!_

_Naruto: Yeek, it was a joke, Sasuke-kun!_

_PH: Well, at least you're finally out of the emo corner._

_Sasuke: You're the gay one. That's why you want to be a girl!_

_PH: Okay, Sasuke, someone wants to know if you think Neji is the anti-straight._

_Sasuke: What the hell is the anti-straight?_

_PH: I guess it means gay._

_Sasuke: Well, Neji isn't gay, that much I know. I've seen him walking around the woman's bath, with his Byakugan turned on. I'm pretty sure he was turned on too._

_PH: Okay, Sakura, if you had to dye your hair pink or blue, what would you do?  
_

_Sakura: What!? My hair is naturally pink! Why would I die it pink? Or blue?_

_PH: Naruto, what if you had to go a whole day without wearing orange?_

_Naruto: I dunno, I like orange, but I don't need to wear it. Nothing big would happen._

_PH: Okay, I think this is the last one. Naruto, why do people think Sasuke can beat you, even though you could have killed Orochimaru, or something like that._

_Sasuke: Because I can beat Naruto and __**I did **__beat Orochimaru!_

_PH: The question wasn't for you._

_Naruto: Well let them think that, because I'm getting stronger every day! One day I'll be the greatest ninja ever known. I'm going to be the Sixth Hokage!_

………………_.._

Sai felt like ending the chapter with a parting message that spoke of hope. He prayed that he hadn't forgotten anyone, and hoped that he got positive reviews.

………………

"Can Naruto really beat Namahagetecno?" Marty asked.

"Not yet," answered BoogiepopShippuden, "But one day soon, he shall be strong enough."

……………

Naruto charged toward Namahagetecno, creating four shadow clones.

Namahagetecno smiled, slicing through two clones, sucking up their chakra. The clones went poof. Two more clones attacked from behind, but Namahagetecno was too quick for Naruto.

The real body fell from above, ready to strike. Namahagetecno took a step back, avoiding Naruto's attack completely. "My master is expecting me soon, its time to end this. Third Movement-Lunã Albã."

A bright flash of white light enveloped Naruto, and he felt his body slashed from all angles. He fell to the ground, defeated.

Namahagetecno vanished for a fraction of a second, reappearing at Hinata's side. "It is time for us to go," he said. He grabbed the girl, and they both vanished.

…………….

TBC

The next chapter _**should **_be the truth or dare story.

Please review.

Edit: 5/24

I fixed some typos.

_PH: Crap, I can't afford the repairs I would need if Naruto goes berserk, guess its time to ask the next question. Sasuke, someone wants to know this. If the Mangekyo Sharingan can control biju, can you control Naruto? Boogiepop wants to know._

I now realize the redundancy of saying bothe, "someone wants to know," and "Boogiepop wants to know" but I feel like leaving this line as is.


	19. Truth or Dare

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto (or InuYasha or Bleach)

Just a little ad, I wrote an AU Naruto, InuYasha, Bleach X-Over if you're interested. Its not an action or comedy, and its pretty long, but if you want to you can check it out!

Naruto: God, this sucks even worse than usual.

DtecnoKira: I know, I couldn't think of anything funny…….

Shiakamaru: Is that why you went with random?

……………………….

**Sai's Truth or Dare**

………………..

It rested on a small island in the middle of a clear blue lake. One could look for miles and still not find a shore. They were trapped, and they're ninja skills were nowhere to be seen. They couldn't use any jutsu, not even the walk on water technique.

The log cabin appeared small and humble on the outside, but on the inside, it was grand and majestic. There was a kitchen filled with any kind of food you could imagine, much to a certain ninja's delight. There were two stories, four bathrooms, two outdoor hot springs that somehow fit in the middle of the cabin, and there were ten bedrooms with three beds each. Not enough for them to each get their own room, but enough beds for them to sleep on. Actually, there were more than enough.

Too bad none of them could remember how they got there.

This is the setting for this strange tale I am about to tell.

Our cast of players?

Naruto

Sasuke

Sakura

Sai

Kakashi

Yamato

Gai

Lee

Neji

Tenten

Shino

Hinata

Kiba

Tsunade

Shizune

Ino

Shikamaru

And Choji

………………………….For now.

Sakura had finished exploring the cabin when she stepped back into the main room. "Where are we?" She asked. "And what are we doing here?"  
"You're her to play a game with me," Answered a mysterious voice.

The ninja all instinctively reached for their kunai.

"Byakugan!" Hinata and Neji both scanned the room for signs of their captor. Alas, they found nothing.

"Who are you?" Naruto demanded, charging forward like a fool. He slipped on a mysterious banana peel and landed on his ass.

Choji quickly stuffed the rest of the banana into his mouth and chowed down, trying to look innocent. Not even a dobe like Naruto was dumb enough to miss this.

"Choji you fat ass, watch where you throw those things!"  
"Don't call me fat!" Screamed Choji, charging forward. He would have used his signature jutsu, which turns his fat ass extra fat, but if you've been paying attention you'd know that they couldn't use jutsu here."

"Hello," said the voice, "mysterious captor here! Don't you want to know why I've brought you here?" Everyone was more focused on the fight that was about to begin. "Pay attention to me, damn it!" Whined the voice.

"Fine, what do you want!?" Screamed Sakura.

"I want you all to play Truth or Dare!"

"Truth or Dare?" Tenten blunk. "You kidnapped us all to play a sleepover game?"

"Yes," the voice answered. "But there is a twist. I will be asking all the questions and giving out all the dares. And the fate of Konoha rests in you hands. Your performance during the dares will earn you points. The truthfulness of your answers will also earn you points. If you don't succeed in gathering enough points by the end of your stay, then I'll destroy Konoha."

"Teme," growled Naruto, grabbing a kunai. "Show yourself." He began throwing kunai everywhere.

"Stop that you asshole!" The voice commanded. "I'm only renting this place. Do you know how much the security deposit is on a cabin in an alternate dimension? I had to pick a place that can seal off your jutsu! They aren't cheap you know!"

"Well then let us go or I'll smash this cabin apart!" Threatened Tsunade.

"Do that and Konoha's toast," warned the voice. "The security deposit will cover all damage anyway. Destroy the cabin and they'll just rebuild it from scratch. It'll just mean that you guys have nowhere to sleep. Now, you guys have the day off to do whatever you want! I suggest you do so. Tomorrow, things will get interesting!"

……………

Sorry it was so short and that no ToD has been played yet.

I'm still open to advice.

The next chapter of ToD should be up soon, but the next chapter of Naruto Online will be sort of a 'commercial.'

You'll see what I mean.


	20. Omake: Commercial Break

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Bleach or Death Note

YOU MAY WANT TO JUST SKIP THIS CHAPTER

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Bleach or Death Note or InuYasha or Icy Hot

I also don't own Jack, Ryu, or Amanda. Spidey3000 does.

I don't own Axel, Celena, or Haseo either.

Naruto: This chapter proves you don't own a good sense of humor either, it sucks.

DtecnoKira: This chapter has nothing to do with the main storyline or any faux fanfiction, its just a bunch of ads.

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Are you tired of your ninja clothes being soaked in blood? Your favorite outfit stained by the crimson tide of your last opponent? The shinobi's life style often calls for one to spend so much money on new outfits! What if you could save the old ones and renew them?

Well, now you can! Just buy new Shinigami brand Bleach! It's guaranteed to remove any stain from any piece of clothing! And it won't make colors fade!  
"Hello, my name is Ryuk! I'm the inventor of Shinigami brand Bleach, and I'm here to tell you it works. The patented formula of my brand of laundry detergent taps into the cleansing power of apples to give your clothes that clean that other detergents just don't deliver. And it leaves your clothes with that delicious apple scent I just know you'll love! Or, if you for some crazy, idiotic, insane, unbelievable reason you don't like the smell of apples, you can't get my new detergent in strawberry scented varieties instead. Because nothing says Shinigami more than a strawberry."

…………

_Can't run. Can't hide._

_Don't deny the fear inside._

_Try to survive._

_The time has come to contrive._

_A plan, you'll need, if you want to survive._

_Take it, in stride._

_Come on now you have arrived._

Come check out the new X-Over I've written! Now playing on my profile page!

………

The Legend of the Icy Hot Ninja

By Spidey3000

Jack, Ryu, and Amanda are teammates in this hilarious comedy by the brilliant mastermind Spidey3000. These three will rise to be legends alongside another team, Team 7 consisting of Naruto, Sasuke and Saku…Hinata! Read along as Jack learns to master both the art of ninjutsu and the art of pranking. Can Jack combine the two and become an Icy Hot warrior!

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Secrets From the Sky

by lolza19

Okay, I like this story, but it has very few reviews. I was asked to encourage people to read it. It's really short, so it won't take up much of your time, and its pretty good. Long ago they left Konoha. Now they return.

But why did they leave ion the first place?

And why does everyone seem to remember that girl?

……………

Having trouble learning your Bankai? Well come down to Bankai Gym, where our expert tutors will teach you how to achieve maximum efficiency with your Zanpaku-to!

Still trying to learn Shikai? We can help with that to!

Come on down, our prices are very reasonable.

Rem: I was having trouble learning my Bankai, but Bankai Gym taught me how. Now all my friends are jealous of me 'coz I'm cooler then they are!

……………………………..

Sand ninja in Konoha

by MioneRocks

She left her village on a mission to Sand.

She had no intention of returning.

There she met Subaku no Gaara.

Together they will start a new life, in Konoha.

………………….

Come on down to the Naruto Online Forum! Play games! Chat about whatever. Talk about your favorite shows! Advertise your own stories!

……………

Lee: Gai-sensei, I am too weak, I cannot go on.

Gai: No, Lee!! You must explode with the power of YOUTH! Take some of this.

(Hands Lee some Green Lotus energy drink. Lee drinks it in one gulp.)

Lee: Gai-sensei, I am reinvigorated with the power of YOUTH!

Announcer: Green Lotus energy drink, gives you energy when you need it. The number one energy drink of ninja worldwide.

……………..

So you're actually reading this chapter! Thanx!

……………

The New Team 7

by Tsukiyomaru

Naruto is a Jonin now, and he's got his own squad to look out for. Somehow they all seem strangely familiar. Axel attacks first and thinks later. Celena won't stop picking on Axel. Then there's Haseo, the emo one.

You know you want to read this! The Chunin Exams have begun! Who will pass? Who will fail?

……….

Naruto for Hokage 2008!

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…………………

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Commercials Over!


	21. The New Players II: Phoenix Dawn Mix

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

Sorry but I'm too lazy to proof read.

Also note that the next few chapters will probably all be short.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, Boogiepop, or fanfiction dot net.

……………….

Sai's Interview Story (Not the Ask Fic, sorry about my typo last time around.)

(Warning: Sex Jokes inside)

..

.

Orochimaru and Kabuto

_PH: Thank you all for returning; today I a going to interview two of the villains from the show, Orochimaru and his devoted "follower" Kabuto!_

_Kabuto: Why did you say "follower" with an obvious hint of sarcasm._

_PH: Because today I intend to unveil the true nature of your relationship._

_Orochimaru: What are you implying about the nature of my relationship with Kabuto?_

_PH: First question, Oro-kun. You love snakes, right? Are they supposed to be some sort of metaphor for a love of (bleeps)?_

_Orochimaru: I am not gay!_

_PH: So you just act gay. Kabuto, what about you? Do you act gay as well?_

_Kabuto: I do not act gay!_

_PH: So you admit that that you really are gay._

_Kabuto: I am not._

_PH: But you just said it wasn't an act!_

_Kabuto: That's right, I'm not acting gay._

_PH: So you are gay._

_Kabuto: Shut up! You're mean! I don't wanna talk anymore!_

_PH: Okay, next question for Kabuto-chan, does Oro-kun let you play with his pet snake?  
Kabuto: Haha, very funny. That pun was lame._

_PH: What pun? Oh, I see. You here the word snake used in a sentence with your master's name, and you immediately think about Oro-kun's (bleep.) Interesting, very interesting._

_Kabuto: You're the pervert who keeps talking about Orochimaru's (bleep)_

_PH: Okay, next question, Orochimaru, why do you have a harem of little boys?_

_Orochimaru: There were girls in that harem too._

_PH: So yopu admit it was a harem._

_Orochimaru: I was being facetious._

_PH: Sure you were. Anyway, the females were severely outnumbered by the males, some ninja speculate that the only reason females were included into your harem were to deceive us into believing that you are in fact, bi._

_Orochimaru: I would never want to deceive people into believing I'm bisexual._

_PH: Then why'd you do it?_

_Orochimaru: Shut up, you're annoying. _

_PH: Now, Kabuto, do you often see Orochimaru naked? You are his doctor, after all._

_Kabuto: Doctor patient confidentiality._

_PH: Doctor patient confidentiality is void when you're in an ask fic._

_Oochimaru: I'm leaving, Kabuto, are you coming?_

_PH: I bet you ask him that a lot._

_PH: Great, they're gone. 'Till next time._

………………_.._

OrochimaruisNOTgay

(Translated for your reading convenience.)

_Disgusting, truly disgusting. This is absolutely horrible, you should delete this story now._

……………..

……………..

Choji racked his brain for ideas, trying to think of the next chapter for his NaruHina. But he couldn't come up with one. 'If I left it as it is for now, that would still be fine.' He took a potato chip and ate it. 'But I hope to update it one day.' He ate another. 'Man, I wish I could do some epic potato chip eating.' He took a potato chip and ate it.

………………..

Kabuto smiled as he began typing his own story.

Watching over Kabuto's shoulders, Orochimaru smiled.

…..

Itachi blunk as the sunlight entered his eyes. 'I'm alive, but how?' He saw the smiling face of his partner Kisame watching over him.

"So looks like we're both back from the dead," Kisame said playfully. "But we're the only ones. The rest of the Akatsuki is still gone."

Itachi rubbed his head to soothe the headache. He wasn't sure what to ask first. He settled on, "Why are you so cheerful?"

"How come you're not?" Kisame asked in return. "We're both back from the dead."

"But how?" He asked next.

"Who can say?" Kisame's smiling face turned into a more serious scowl. "But I found a note by my body when I woke up. It said to check a website called fanfiction dot net."

……………………

Sai began working on his Truth or Dare Story. 'Maybe I should try making it more of an action story then a Humor, but throw _some_ humor in. Or maybe it should still be some humor with some action thrown in.'

………………

Sasuke continued his oneshot.

_The journey was a long one, but they didn't mind. It was part of their duty as ninja to take whatever mission they received. No matter how boring, no matter how hard, no matter how dangerous a mission was they had to accept. But this mission wasn't supposed to be dangerous._

_How could everything go so horribly wrong?_

………………_.._

BoogiepopShippuden watched the fight play on his magic laptop (A/N: It was going to be a cauldron, then a mirror, but I went with a laptop.) "So," he said. "Namahagetecno won this round, just as I expected. He should return soon."

Marty and Mary-Sue watched over his shoulder.

"Do you remember your roles?" BoogiepopShippuden asked his servants.

"Yes, master," answered Marty. "I am to fight Kakashi."

Mary-Sue smiled. "I know my role well," she said.

…………….

Gaara read the email and clicked the link to fanfiction dot net. 'So this is the site everyone talks about,' he thought. He clicked on the button that said register, and began to type. 'So I need a penname, huh? How about, _LoveoftheSand.'_

……

Tsunade was shocked by what she had found. It wasn't another disturbing fanfiction, it was something that explained so much. 'Naruto manga and anime? So this is how they know our secrets. It's so accurate. How do they know?'

But this would have to wait. It was low on her priority list. As far as she could tell, the masses were mistaking this all for mere entertainment. As long as they didn't know the show was real, the ninja world was safe. 'Still, I should mail these sites to the Kazekage.'

…………………

Gaara frowned, 'So I have to wait two whole days?' He noticed the email. 'The Hokage sent me something.'

……………..

Second Best by MikiStatic

The title caught his eye. It was a short drabble about the HinaNaruSaku love triangle.

'This is really good,' thought Shikamaru. "Maybe I should write a NaruHina," he said.

A voice came from the doorway, one he didn't recognize. "No," said the voice. "I love this pairing, but your friends have it covered."

Shikamaru turned, his eyes widened in shock. "Who are you?"

"That is not important," said the girl, "you have something that you must do."

…………..

To Be Continued

So the stage is being set.

What will happen next?

What happened to Naruto after Namahagetecno pwned him?

Is he alright?

What will Itachi and Kisame do now that they have been brought bac to life?

How are the dead people coming back anyway?

Please review.


	22. Breaking the Fourth Wall

Gah, too lazy to spell check.

I really should, i've been noticing so many typos in earlier chapters.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or The World Ends With You or Bleach

(A/N: Shiki is the name of a character from TWEWY. I have borrowed that name, plus the idea of the stuffed animal. (TWEWY Shiki carries a stuffed cat.) Bonnie-chan is a character from Bleach. I have borrowed that name as well.)

…….

DtecnoKira: Okay, I'm working on Gaara's Story, it should be done sometime relatively soon.

Today's chapter is a bit Sci-Fi.

……………………….

Just as Shikamaru was speaking to the mysterious girl in his room, Tsunade too had a mysterious visitor.

She leapt in through the window; a smile broke out on her face. "The security here sure sucks," joked the girl. Tsunade immediately stood up and prepared for the possibility of a battle.

"Who are you?" She demanded.

Hearing the Hokage's angered voice, nearby ninja who roamed the halls stormed into the room, prepared to battle. Their hands dropped to their shuriken holsters in an instant.

The mysterious intruder twirled around playfully. "Relax, if I were planning to attack, why would I announce my presence. Besides, I'm good, but nowhere near ready to fight a Hokage. Name's Shiki, by the way. I'm thirteen going on fourteen, and I love ramen!"

'What's with the bio?' Wondered Tsunade, but she bit her tongue and decided to let the girl speak.

"I'm from the Village Hidden in the Linden Trees," she explained. "And I've come with a message."

Tsunade felt the strange desire to critique the girls appearance, which was in reality just me trying to find a time to describe Shiki's appearance. She had shoulder length blonde hair and a hot pink sweater top. Her black miniskirt did a poor job of covering anything at all….who the hell lets their thirteen-year-old dress like this?

Shiki hugged a small stuffed animal, a cute orange cat. Somehow, it made her look innocent and childlike, despite her clothing, or lack thereof. "It regards the Naruto anime and manga I'm sure you've heard about. I will explain everything." She noticed Tsunade eyeing her stuffed cat. "This is Bonnie-chan, by the way."

"Can I trust you?" Tsunade asked, knowing fully well that her question was stupid and pointless. She'd have no way to test the truthfullness of the answer she was given.

"Of course," replied the intruder. "Shiki is a good girl."

…………………….

Shikamaru stared at the girl in disbelief. She had long orange hair and wore an orange sweater over a blue T-shirt. Using his awesome IQ, Shikamaru correctly guessed that her age was 14, this way I can tell you how old she is without having her give it out herself. Too bad I can't be as creative about how she gives out her name.

"My name is Mimi; I'm from the Village Hidden in the Night. You're Shikamaru, from Leaf. Introductions are over, so let's get to business. There is something I need you to do."

…………………….

Sasuke's Oneshot

_The group traveled for a while before night fell. Even ninja can get tired, so seeing, as their mission wasn't an urgent one, they decided to rest. They pitched two tents, one for Sakura and one for the boys to share._

"_If you're feeling lonely, I can keep you company tonight," Naruto joked._

"_Don't even think about it!" Complained Sakura._

_This exchange confused Sai. "Did Naruto do something to upset you? Perhaps I could help you two reconcile."_

_Sasuke, being the emo loner, had to struggle not to laugh at Sai's social awkwardness._

_Being who they were, someone in the group should have noticed the malevolent presence watching them. If they had, maybe all four ninja would have been able to return. Sadly, the enemy Shinobi went unnoticed. _

………………_.._

Tsunade could hardly believe Shiki's words. "So you claim there are multiple worlds in existence? But, that's ridiculous."

"No, it's the truth," Shiki insisted. "Every fictional show you see on TV is another world. Every book, manga, or comic you read is its own world. The same applies to games you play and movies you watch. But all these worlds are connected by energy waves. The events in one world manifest as a person's thoughts in another, and often times that person will create a story based on those thoughts of another world. In the case of our world, we became a manga based on the actions of one of your villagers, Naruto. That manga later became an anime, with several games based on it. This seems fine and all, but something went wrong. People are writing fanfiction in their own worlds, where Naruto is just entertainment. But somehow that fanfiction has leaked into our world, along with fansites dedicated to the show. While my village is at no risk, if the secrets of Konoha became public knowledge, Konoha's enemies would surely attack. The leader of my village fears that this may lead to war, so we need to fix this problem."

"But what caused it in the first place?"

…………………..

"You can't be serious," exclaimed Shikamaru.

"But I am," said Mimi.

"But there's no way I could….." He didn't even want to think about it.

………………

Kabuto's story was done. He titled it, Orochimaru's Long Snake and submitted it with the summary: OroTsuna Lemon, PWP. Orochimaru has a long snake. That's why she loves him.

He waited for people to review.

……………………

Sasuke's Oneshot

_In the darkness, he was invisible, he could strike at any time and they'd never see it coming. They should have heard him. They should have sensed him. What was there training for? They were supposed to be good! This should never have happened. After all their dangerous battles, how could some random enemy take the life of one of the Konoha's greatest ninja?_

_He wasn't even important. He wasn't some infamous rogue ninja. He wasn't some top assassin sent by a rival village. He was beneath each of their individual strengths. This enemy was a pathetic no-name waste of space. _

…………_.._

"You see, there are walls dividing our existence," Shiki explained. "The first wall divides life and death, it is a barrier that keeps those alive in our world, and those that are dead in there's. This wall seems to be fluctuating a little, allowing the dead to return to life. This could be problematic down the road if S-Ranked criminals are revived, but that is not our primary concern."

Shiki never noticed the twinkle of realization in Tsunade's eyes. 'Maybe there's a way to bring him back,' she thought.

"The second wall divides reality from dreams. This keeps the illusionary world of dreams and nightmares at bay," Shiki's explanation continued. "The third wall is one that separates past and future from the present."

"So, what's causing the fanfiction from other worlds to leak through?" Tsunade asked.  
"There is another wall. This one keeps different worlds separated," Shiki explained. "But it doesn't seem to be working right now."

"So that's why fanfiction is leaking into our world," concluded Tsunade, choosing to believe Shiki's words.

"Yes," she said. "The fourth wall has been broken."

…………………..

TBC

So that explains some things, any questions left?

Please review.


	23. Emo Corner

Sasuke: That's my emo corner! Get out!

DtecnoKira: No!

Sakura: What's wrong with him?

Naruto: Konoha Invades Fanfiction! by LuigiFreak Chapter 8. It was really good and now DtecnoKira's all emo about how he'll have to try his best to come up with something as funny what Luigi wrote.

Naruto: He also has problems because he can't write Gaara's story. And a bunch of other personal issues. He should really rename himself DtecnoEmo or Code Emo or BoogiepopEmo, or something like that.

Namahagetecno: Well, let's get on with the chapter.

………………………

Sai's ToD

…..

….

…

The group went about there day with a twinge of anxiety in the back of their mind. What would happen the day after? But it was pointless to ponder the unforeseeable, so they divided the rooms as they saw fit, and went to bed.

They were awoken the next day by the familiar voice.

"The game is about to begin, but I have an announcement to make. Your sleeping arrangements will be determined by your scores today."

"So we can't choose who we room with?" Shikamaru didn't like the idea. 'I'll probably end up with some hyperactive idiot like Naruto who will keep me up tonight.'

The voice continued. "As a group you'll need at least 1000 points to protect Konoha from destruction. But as individuals, you'll need 50 points by the end of the day or you die."

The ninja cringed in fear. This was the truth or dare game from hell.

"So we each need 50 points, but even then it won't be enough," summarized Shikamaru. "We'll still need 100 more points."

"Yes. Now here's how it works. I'll ask the someone "Truth or Dare," then they'll go next. After their truth or dare is complete, they'll choose the next player. If someone is unable to answer a question or complete a dare, they'll be erased automatically, unless someone chooses to intervene."

"How do we intervene?" Asked Sakura.

"You'll find out if the time comes," The voice answered. "Now our first contestant is Naruto, Truth or Dare!"

Naruto's reckless personality demanded that he prove his bravery by selecting, "Dare."

A pink tutu materialized before Naruto.

"Wear it," said the voice. "Go to your bedroom and change. "But before you leave, select my next victim."

Naruto pondered it over for a few moments before answering, "Sakura." He didn't want the love of his life to be without any points. Naruto walked of to change while the voice posed the question.

"Truth or dare?"

"Dare," said Sakura. She didn't want to seem afraid, so she followed Naruto's lead.

"You have to kiss either Sasuke or Sai. But you get more points for kissing Sai."

Saskura's hopes were raised then crushed. 'Now if I kiss Sasuke everyone will think I've abandoned the village just for a kiss.' Sakura stood up then slowly walked towards Sai. But with each step she took, she felt her heart screaming in pain. 'Must kiss Sasuke,' her inner self screamed. The urge was too strong! She leapt toward Sasuke, knocking him to the ground and kissed him passionately. Sasuke's eyes widened in shock.

"Sakura, what are you doing?" Complained Ino. "The village's safety comes first, you should have kissed Sasuke!"

"Shut up Ino Pig, you would have done the same thing!" Sakura retorted.

"Care to find out?" Offered the voice. "Select Ino to go next, and if she picks dare, I'll give her the same option."

"Ino, you're up next." Said the pink haired Kunoichi.

"I pick dare," said the blonde. She wanted to prove that she was a better team player than Sakura.

"Okay, same dare," said the voice with a laugh.

"Wait a second," interjected Shikamaru. "Can't you at least tell us the scores first?"

The voice let out a sigh. "Fine, Sakura gets ten points. I will award Naruto his points when he returns. His score will be determined by how long it takes for him to get back.

"Can we get back to me, I want to kiss Sasu I mean Sai," said Ino. She found herself walking towards Sai, when suddenly ran towards Sasuke, kissing him as well.

"See Ino, you pig. You kissed Sasuke too!" Sakura taunted.

"I think you'll find that this cabin not only prevents you from lying on a truth but it also affects your heart during dares," explained the voice. "Ten points. Now choose, Ino."

"I pick Sasuke to go next." She wanted to insure that Sasuke got the points necessary to survive.

"Truth or dare?"

Sasuke being the emo idiot he is didn't want others to look down on him. "Dare," he growled.

"When Naruto gets back, you have to kiss him," ordered the voice.

Sakura's hand quickly flew to her nose so she could stop her nose from leaking.

Sasuke stood up and growled. "Teme, get down here so I can Chidori your ass!"

"So you refuse the dare?" Asked the voice. "Looks like one of your friends will have to intervene. But you have to choose one of them. Then they'll choose to accept or deny your request. If they deny your plea for help, you get erased right here, right now. But if they accept, they'll receive a challenge. Should they complete the challenge, you'll be fine. Should they fail, you'll both be erased."

Sasuke growled at the dilemma. He had just made the stupidest mistake of his life. Kissing Naruto would have been simple. Who knows what the challenge would be?

……

TBC

Hah! Cliffhanger!

……………….

……………..

…………..

Sai: God that sucked.

Naruto: It's like a Truth or Dare that tries too hard to be a horror story!

Sakura: I hope the next chapter is better…….


	24. DDR: Doujinshi Dream Return

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

Namahagetecno: Aren't you glad?

Naruto: So you're one of the OC's I have to fight later on?

Namahagetecno: Yes.

(A/N: See how long ago I wrote this.)

DtecnoKira: Let's begin Kiba's Second Chapter! (Achoo.)

Namahagetecno: Bless you.

Naruto: Someone's talking about you.

DtecnoKira: I hope they're saying something good.

PS I hope I didn't upload this already!

…………………………………………………………………………………

Kiba's Story Ramen Quest

Chapter 2 Doujinshi Magic

Hinata hadn't even begun trying to create a doujinshi yet. It was too silly to think she could jump right in, so she began by drawing fanart. She had bought the best supplies she could, and was enjoying the practice. She worked on not only drawing the manga characters, but also drawing her friends as well. Practice was important, and if she learned to draw only one thing, it would be wasted.

Indulging in her fantasies, she drew a picture of herself falling into Naruto's embrace, something she wished she could do in reality. But, alas, the dream would have to remain a dream for now. Hopefully one day things would be as she wished.

In the original story, Fumiko, the girl in love, makes the perfect bowl of gourmet ramen and gives it to the boy she likes. That boy, Shinji, loves the ramen, but doesn't realize it was the love Fumiko felt for him that makes it so good. Her feelings re never returned, but Fumiko didn't care. He loved her present and that's all that mattered.

………………………………………………(((Flashback)))……………………………………..

"Here you go," Hinata handed Naruto the manga just as he stepped out of class. "I read it, you were right it is good….but I thought the ending was a little sad."

"Thanks Hinata," Naruto said with a smile. "You're the greatest," he thrust his arms around her.

Hinata's face turned redder than a tomato.

She fainted, of course.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………

'I talked to Naruto the next day,' she remembered, coloring a picture of Naruto holding her hand. 'He agreed that the ending was a little sad. He said that he felt Fumiko and Shinji should have ended up together.'

That's what she decided her doujinshi would be about, Fumiko confessing her feelings.

Naruto had once told her, "What I don't get is why Fumiko didn't just say how she felt. She loved Shinji and she should have told him that, simple as that. He would probably fall in love with her too, if only he knew."

Hinata couldn't find an answer then, but reflecting upon his words now made Hinata laugh at the irony. 'One day,' she told herself, 'I'll tell him how I feel.'

Hinata took a break from drawing and reread the manga. "Fumiko," she whispered, "I know exactly how you feel." As she read, she plotted the fan-made sequel in her head, dreaming of the two sharing their first kiss. Somewhere along the line, it became a dream of her and Naruto.

…………..

Hinata woke up with an image etched in her mind, of her and Naruto together. That day, she drew the most beautiful picture she had ever drawn.

……………….

TBC

A/N: I hope I haven't already uploaded this chapter before.

Oh yeah, Kiba wrote this before the fight started, but it took a while to make it onto the site. : )


	25. Hebi Rocks: Hinata's Friend is Sasuke!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

………………………..

Choji's Story

Hebi took the stage. Sasuke looked out at the audience that had gathered for the concert and began to strum his electric guitar. Then he opened his mouth and sang the vocals to their hit rock song.

_**The Fire Burns in the Night**_

_**The Flames Dance Around**_

_**I try to Call Your Name**_

_**But I Can't Make a Sound**_

_**The Pain Wells up in my Heart**_

_**Fear Lingers in my Soul**_

_**My Memories of You and Me**_

_**Are Slipping Through the Hole**_

Jugo sat and played his keyboard with great skill. Suigetsu was on Bass, and though he was having fun, he was looking forward to his turn to sing. Sasuke's mouth stopped moving, and Jugo took the spotlight. Suigetsu waited patiently, his turn was next.

_**My Empty Diary**_

_**Blank Page After Page**_

_**The Words I Can't Write or Say**_

_**Begin to Decay with Age**_

Karin rocked out on the drums, but her turn to sing was coming soon. Not yet though. Suigetsu's rap began.

_**I Want to Run Out Toward You**_

_**And Just Take Your Hand**_

_**I Want to Run Forever With you**_

_**To Another Land**_

_**The Chaos That Surrounds Us**_

_**Makes me Want to Cry**_

_**If They Don't Fix the World I Think I'd Rather Die**_

The rap was where the message of the song began to come to light. In times of darkness, we look for those who will help us make it through. This was exactly what Hinata wanted, that 's why she loved this song so much. That's why she was in the front row, watching. She wore a disguise of course, so nobody recognized her, except for Sasuke. Suigetsu's rap ended, so Sasuke and Jugo sang together.

_**No Matter the Darkness**_

_**You Are the Light**_

_**Pierce the Illusion**_

_**Of the Hopeless Night**_

_**With Your Smile**_

_**You Summon the Dawn**_

_**And Give me the Strength**_

_**To Carry On**_

Karin's lines came next.

_**Resisting Emo Urges**_

_**I Stifle the Tears of Another Lonely Day**_

_**Falling Into Shadows**_

_**I Begin to Lose my Way**_

Hinata felt like that. Even with everyone around her, Naruto was in love with another. The shadows in her heart were growing. And she was beginning to feel emoer than Sasuke.

Suigetsu got to sing again, though it wasn't a rap this time; it was a hook.

_**Lonely Nights Pass by Over and Over**_

_**Over and Over Again**_

_**Lonely Nights Pass by Over and Over**_

_**Over and Over Again**_

_**Lonely Nights Pass by Over and Over**_

_**Over and Over Again**_

_**Lonely Nights Pass by Over and Over**_

_**Over and Over and Over**_

_**Over Again**_

Then Sasuke and Jugo sang again. The pounding rock beats were exciting, and far from soothing. But they seemed to envelop Hinata like a warm hug. It was as if the sound of Sasuke's band was able to drown out the cries of her heart, even if only for a little while.

_**No Matter the Darkness**_

_**You Are the Light**_

_**Pierce the Illusion**_

_**Of the Hopeless Night**_

_**With Your Smile**_

_**You Summon the Dawn**_

_**And Give me the Strength**_

_**To Carry On**_

The song continued and Hinata listened, reflecting on how Naruto had always been there for her in their youth. She had even written a song about it. As Hebi's song played in real life, her own song began in the playlist of her heart.

Heartlight

_**Here in the Darkness**_

_**The Wind Howls so Loud**_

_**My Voice is Drowned Out**_

_**Lost Amidst the Noise of the Crowd**_

_**The Sun's Already Set**_

_**But I Don't Really Care**_

_**It was Cloudy Anyway**_

_**You Could Barely tell the Sun was There**_

_**The Stars Have all Faded**_

_**Like Sand Slipping Through Time**_

_**Trying my Best to go Anywhere**_

_**I Hear the Bell Chime**_

_**It's a New Moon Midnight**_

_**No Glowing Circle in the Sky**_

_**All the Light is Gone**_

_**But I'll Never Cry**_

_**And You're Why**_

…………………

_**Guided by the Light of Your Heart**_

_**I'll Make it Through**_

_**When You're by my Side**_

_**There's Nothing More True**_

_**No Matter What the World Tries to do**_

_**It will all be Okay**_

_**Only the Skies are Blue**_

_**As Long as I Have You**_

………_**.**_

_**Day Dreams and Smiles Gone**_

_**My Hope Began to Fade Away**_

_**The Earth Spirals out of Control**_

_**Nothing Seems to go my Way**_

_**But it's Okay**_

_**The Second Hand Marches Forth**_

_**With the Other two in Tow**_

_**I Try to Run Forward**_

_**But the Wall Won't Let me Go**_

_**But I Know**_

………_**..**_

_**It Doesn't Matter What Happens**_

_**As Long as You and I are Still Good Friends**_

_**I'll Travel Down this Road**_

_**There are no Dead Ends**_

_**Only Twists and Bends**_

……_**..**_

_**Guided by the Light of Your Heart**_

_**I'll Make it Through**_

_**When You're by my Side**_

_**There's Nothing More True**_

_**No Matter What the World Tries to do**_

_**It will all be Okay**_

_**Only the Skies are Blue**_

_**As Long as I Have You**_

……

_**I Don't Need the Sunlight**_

_**I Don't Need the Moonlight**_

_**I Don't Need the Starlight**_

_**Everything is All Right**_

_**As Long as I Have Your Heartlight**_

………………

_**Let the Years Roll by**_

_**Let Them all Laugh at Me**_

_**I'm Laughing Back at Them**_

'_**Cause I Know One Day They'll see**_

_**The Trials I Face Now**_

_**Are Really Nothing at All**_

_**Let the Obstacles Come**_

_**One by One They'll all Fall**_

_**Fall**_

…………_**.**_

_** Guided by the Light of Your Heart**_

_**I'll Make it Through**_

_**When You're by my Side**_

_**There's Nothing More True**_

_**No Matter What the World Tries to do**_

_**It will all be Okay**_

_**Only the Skies are Blue**_

_**As Long as I Have You**_

…………………..

It was a cheery song about how our friends help us make it through the most challenging of times.

The songs continued and Hinata enjoyed each one. But the concert had to end eventually. That's when he stepped off stage and smiled at her. "If you were going to come you should have told me, i could have gotten you backstage."

"That's okay," said Hinata. "I just wanyted some advice from you." She said softly.

"Something the matter?" Sasuke asked.

"Its about Naruto."

...

TBC

The next chapter will be a bonus chapter with the full version of Heartlight, if I can find it.


	26. Omake: Heartlight

Heartlight

**Here in the Darkness**

**The Wind Howls so Loud**

**My Voice is Drowned Out**

**Lost Amidst the Noise of the Crowd**

**The Sun's Already Set**

**But I Don't Really Care**

**It was Cloudy Anyway**

**You Could Barely tell the Sun was There**

**The Stars Have all Faded**

**Like Sand Slipping Through Time**

**Trying my Best to go Anywhere**

**I Hear the Bell Chime**

**It's a New Moon Midnight**

**No Glowing Circle in the Sky**

**All the Light is Gone**

**But I'll Never Cry**

**And You're Why**

…………………

**Guided by the Light of Your Heart**

**I'll Make it Through**

**When You're by my Side**

**There's Nothing More True**

**No Matter What the World Tries to do**

**It will all be Okay**

**Only the Skies are Blue**

**As Long as I Have You**

………**.**

**Day Dreams and Smiles Gone**

**My Hope Began to Fade Away**

**The Earth Spirals out of Control**

**Nothing Seems to go my Way**

**But it's Okay**

**The Second Hand Marches Forth**

**With the Other two in Tow**

**I Try to Run Forward**

**But the Wall Won't Let me Go**

**But I Know**

………**..**

**It Doesn't Matter What Happens**

**As Long as You and I are Still Good Friends**

**I'll Travel Down this Road**

**There are no Dead Ends**

**Only Twists and Bends**

……**..**

**Guided by the Light of Your Heart**

**I'll Make it Through**

**When You're by my Side**

**There's Nothing More True**

**No Matter What the World Tries to do**

**It will all be Okay**

**Only the Skies are Blue**

**As Long as I Have You**

……

**I Don't Need the Sunlight**

**I Don't Need the Moonlight**

**I Don't Need the Starlight**

**Everything is All Right**

**As Long as I Have Your Heartlight**

………………

**Let the Years Roll by**

**Let Them all Laugh at Me**

**I'm Laughing Back at Them**

'**Cause I Know One Day They'll See**

**The Trials I Face Now**

**Are Really Nothing at All**

**Let the Obstacles Come**

**One by One They'll all Fall**

**Fall**

…………**.**

** Guided by the Light of Your Heart**

**I'll Make it Through**

**When You're by my Side**

**There's Nothing More True**

**No Matter What the World Tries to do**

**It will all be Okay**

**Only the Skies are Blue**

**As Long as I Have You**

…………………..

**Though it Sometimes Seems I'm Bound**

**To a Life of Rainy Morrows**

**I'm Sure I can Wade Through**

**All the Griefs and Sorrows**

**So Go Ahead my Life**

**Challenge me all You Can**

**I Won This All**

**Before it Even Began**

**Because I've Got a Best Friend**

**And to That Best Friend**

**...**

**I Don't Need the Sunlight**

**I Don't Need the Moonlight**

**I Don't Need the Starlight**

**Everything is All Right**

**As Long as I Have Your Heartlight**

...

**So Let me Say**

**There is no Way**

**I'd Make it Through the Day**

**If it Weren't for You**

**So Yay, Yay**

...

**I Don't Need the Sunlight**

**I Don't Need the Moonlight**

**I Don't Need the Starlight**

**Everything is All Right**

**As Long as I Have Your Heartlight**

**...**

**So Thank You my Dear Friend**

**You've Gotten me Through the Night**

**Its All Thanks to You**

**You and Your Heartlight  
**

**...**

** Guided by the Light of Your Heart**

**I'll Make it Through**

**When You're by my Side**

**There's Nothing More True**

**No Matter What the World Tries to do**

**It will all be Okay**

**Only the Skies are Blue**

**As Long as I Have You**

...

**I Don't Need the Sunlight**

**I Don't Need the Moonlight**

**I Don't Need the Starlight**

**Everything is All Right**

**As Long as I Have Your Heartlight**

**...**

** Guided by the Light of Your Heart**

**I'll Make it Through**

**When You're by my Side**

**There's Nothing More True**

**No Matter What the World Tries to do**

**It will all be Okay**

**Only the Skies are Blue**

**As Long as I Have You**

...

**I Don't Need the Sunlight**

**I Don't Need the Moonlight**

**I Don't Need the Starlight**

**Everything is All Right**

**As Long as I Have Your Heartlight**

**...**

**I Don't Need the Sunlight**

**I Don't Need the Moonlight**

**I Don't Need the Starlight**

**Everything is All Right**

**As Long as I Have Your Heartlight**


	27. Shunsatsu

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

Well, this story isn't as fun as it used to be. I may or may not update as often.

I'm feeling kind of down right now, so sorry if this chapter sucks.

In other news, my friend (who just switched her penname) has started an RP forum. It is relatively new, and I would love it if you could join us there, there aren't that many people, so joining is easy. The link can be found in my profile. Please, it would mean so much to me if you joined us.

………………

"What happened?" Naruto asked.

"You lost." Said a voice.

"I lost?"

"Yeah," said the voice. "Namahagetecno beat you badly," said the voice.

"How badly?" Naruto asked. His eyes fluttered open.

"Very badly."

The white light was blinding. He moved his hand to his face to block it out.

Naruto couldn't believe the vision before him. "You are……………"

………………….

Gaara's Story-Chapter One

……………….

_Sweat fell from her forehead as Temari trained under the hot dessert sun._

"_Dai Kamaitachi no Jutsu!"_

_She had been using this attack repeatedly for an hour, attempting to extend its range, thus making it a more effective jutsu. It was already powerful enough, but she was the kind of Kunoichi who would never stop short of perfection._

"_Hey Temari," called out a familiar voice, interrupting her training, "Happy Birthday."_

_Temari turned to her brother Kankuro and smiled. "Thanks," she said. "At least someone remembered." _

_Kankuro handed her a small box wrapped in festive paper. Temari opened it happily, but frowned once she got to the present inside._

"_Kankuro," she said with a slight scowl, "what's this?" She held up the silver heart shaped necklace._

"_It's a necklace," Kankuro explained. "I thought it would look beautiful on you. Is it too girly for you?"_

_That just made Temari angrier. "Now you're saying I'm not girly!"_

"_No," Kankuro explained. "After you got upset I just thought it was because you see yourself as a tough Kunoichi and that jewelry was beneath you!" He played dumb, just to infuriate her._

"_You know what this is about!" She pointed to the two images engraved within the heart, one of the Hidden Sand's symbol and one of the Hidden Leaf's. "What are you trying to imply with this?"_

"_I think I'll be leaving now." Kankuro dashed away. "Don't you have somewhere to be?" He called out._

_Indeed she did. 'Today's my birthday?' She sighed inwardly. 'I get that I'm a ninja and I have to serve my village, but did he have to give me a mission today? And why do I need an escort from the leaf village just to deliver some documents? They're not even top secret. This is a C-Ranked mission tops, and I'm a Jonin.' She began walking to her brother's office. 'What is he thinking?' _

"_So I have to assist your sister on a simple mission," asked a familiar voice. "But she's a Jonin and I'm a Chuunin. Does she really need the help? How troublesome."_

_Temari stormed into Gaara's office, her face twisted in disbelief. "You picked him to help me?"_

…………_.._

To Be Continued

Kisame sat at his computer and began his story.

……………..

Kisame's Story

_Why?_

_The answer had been right in front of me all along!_

_I claimed to be smart, really I did._

_Sure I'm not a brilliant tactician like Shikamaru is , but I always did well on my tests._

_I got every answer right._

_Each of them._

_All the time._

_How could I miss this one?_

_What a fool!_

_Even now, my own idiocy astounds me. It's been two months and I still haven't recovered._

_No, I wasn't injured, at least, not physically. I just messed up my heart._

_All the time I chased after Sasuke, he was never what I wanted._

_The one I wanted was you._

_But now you're with her._

_All the chances I had. You were head over heels for me and I always pushed you away. I never even gave you a chance. I shouldn't have been so blind._

_Sasuke never loved me, he wasn't even kind to me. I was nothing to him._

_Our bonds weren't strong enough to keep him tied to the village, he severed them easily, all to gain power._

_I was nothing to him._

_Insignificant._

_But you were so kind to me._

_If only I realized sooner how much you meant to me._

_Lee._

_The End._

…………_.._

Naruto's eyes were wide in amazement.

"You're me," he gasped.

"Yes," said the other Naruto.

"And if you want to live, you're going to have to beat me."

………….

TBC


	28. A Short Chapter: 402: Itachi

Dear Everyone,

If you want, yopu can just skip down.

There's a very short chapter there.

So ummmmm, I don't have any internet.

As I'm typing this, I'm really sad because I don't know if I'll ever be able to post it.

There are so many stories I'll miss so much.

Legend of the Icy Hot Ninja.

Tsukiyomaru's next gen story.

Konoha Invades Fanfiction.

I'm bad at remembering names and I just started reading one of Explosive Note Ninja's stories…what was it? Walk Like a Shinobi, I think.

Sei no Gaara just started a story based on her RP forum, so it was essentially co-written by her, Tsukiyomaru, and I.

I really want to RP with you guys!

I wonder what's happened without me?

What have I missed?

I suppose I should atleast apologize to Tsukiyomaru for what Nama-kun did.

Sorry, Tsukiyomaru.

I'll miss talking with all of you if I never get the internet back.

Of course, if you're reading this, then I got it back.

But if I do get the internet back and lose it again, I want you all to know that I'll miss you.

Mewmewgoddess (sorry if I spelled that wrong) I haven't checked out any of your stories yet (Or have I? My memory sucks.) I'll need to check if I ever get the internet back.

Carpenterfan, I'll miss you too.

I can't bring myself to write many chapters right now, knowing I may never get to post them, but if I get the internet back soon, I promise to post something quickly. Of course, I'll need to take a quick break from this to work on some of my other stories.

Pleae check out my BoogiepopShippuden account if you get the chance. Well, you don't have to.

But ignore my Code Numa account, I have nothing good on that one, just a story I'll never finish, and a disturbing request fic I'm doing for a friend.

As I type this, I pray that I won't ever have to say G-O-O-D bye forever.

The thing about my internet is that I technically don't have any.

I would like to thank my aunt for lending me this laptop. I use it to go online by hooking up to some sort of internet signal.

My mom is trying to get an actual internet service for us. That way I'll be able to get online.

Watching anime online is fun, but if I wait a few months, I know a place that sells the DVDs subbed. It costs forty-five dollars, but that's worth it.

Waiting for the manga will be excruciating, I really want to see what happens next, but I can wait for the anime. Even if we're stuck in fillers.

Plus I can get spoilers for some series from my friends.

But I'll miss you guys. I'll miss reading fanfiction.

I'll miss writing it.

Well, this has been one long author' note.

Few people actually care, but we're not allowed to have chapters that are simply author's notes.

(We're not allowed to do scripts either, but I've never cared.)

So I suppose I should do an actual story.

Besides, if I do get online, I should at least do a chapter so that I'll have one last one in the event I lose it again.

I love the internet.

It let me talk to you guys.

I hope I never have to say

G-O-O-D Bye.

Diclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

THE CHAPTER STARTS HERE

THE CHAPTER STARTS HERE

THE CHAPTER STARTS HERE

Itachi was a fast reader, and made it through the chapters quickly. Reading Naruto was quite interesting, it allowed him to see what had happened to his brother and his friends. Things were going good until Sasuke ran away to go visit Orochimaru.

'I can't believe what he put his friend's through,' thought Itachi. 'Did he even care?'

The Kakashi Chronicles were interesting.

'So that's how he got Sharingan,' Itachi thought.

Then he got to his fight with Sasuke. It was heart breaking.

Then he learned that Sasuke discovered the clan's secret.

'He was never supposed to,' thought Itachi.

Then he got to Chapter 402.

At first, he felt horrible for Sasuke, tears fell down his eyes. When Sasuke cried, Itachi's heart broke.

Then he reached the last page.

Itachi facepalmed.

He quickly printed the page, then walked toward the door.

"Where are you going?" Kisame asked.

"To Konoha."

...

Sasuke typed on his computer.

_The enemy moved silently. But Sasuke, Naruto, Sakura, and Sai were used to having their enemies move silently. Someone should have noticed him. But Sasuke, was still being a loner, trying to block out Naruto's argument with Sakura. Sai was watching, studying the exchange, trying to understand it._

_The enemy struck in an instant._

...

Sasuke turned to his door when he heard a knock.

Slowly he moved toward the door, not knowing who to expect.

He thrust the door out in the open.

"Nii-chan," ha gasped in surprise. Tears of joy fell down his face. He knew it was really Itachi and not an impersonator. He didn't care how. Itachi was alive.

Itachi thrust the page into Sasuke's face. "What's this?" The elder brother asked.

"Uhhhhh," Sasuke could find no words to explain his stupidity.

Itachi proceeded to bitchslap Sasuke.

TBC


	29. Irony and Writer's Block

Well, my internet is working fine but my computer is acting up.

-.- The irony does not amuse me……..

If things get better than yayz, but as long as they don't get worse, I'll still be able to update.

This is going to make reading manga really hard.

Wow, I just tried to go online, it went really fast for a few seconds, then froze!

Edit: Things seem fine today, Yayz!

AN: Expect really short chapters from now on...it seems that's the way things'll be working, sorry.

God, I have such bad writer's block.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Bleach or DeathNote or boogiepop

……………

So, SPOILERS

Recently, we learned that Itachi gave a power up to Naruto…but we don't know what that power up is. I'm planning on using this as an excuse to give Naruto the Sharingan.

Also, we learned that Itachi suspected that Sasuke might attack Konoha -.- That so messes with last chapter where he's surprised to learn of idiot Sasuke's plans..

……………….

"Good-bye," Said Itachi as he turned to leave.

"Wait," Pleaded Sasuke. "Can't you stay for a little while?"

"Sorry, but I have something to do." Itachi strutted out the door, leaving behind a teary eyed Sasuke.

...

Naruto faced himself, not knowing what to expect. His second self looked exactly like he did, the Kagebunshin would be dangerous here, meaning that he'd have to be very careful when using the rasengan. 'This is going to be tough,' he thought.

Naruto charged forward, ignoring the blinding white light all around him.

"Take this," yelled the look alike. The area around his body began to blur as he vanished from sight, appearing directly behind the real Naruto. "Rasengan!" He called out, forming the chakra sphere in one hand.

'He can do Rasengan with one hand?' Naruto thought, trying to dodge his lookalike. It was all in vain, the attack hit him in the back, causing him to spiral forward, coughing blood.

"The Rasengan is a great technique," the clone lectured. "But you can't do it without a clone's help. This cuts down on its effectiveness. Once you learned to do the move with the clone, you never even bothered to try perfecting it. You're such a fool. Just because you know a move doesn't mean its mastered."

Naruto rose to his feet, relatively unharmed.

"I held back of course," said the clone with a laugh. "If I used my full strength, you'd be a goner."

Naruto threw his kunai; they zipped through the air, only to be knocked down by his clone's kunai. "Simplistic and pointless," lectured the fake.

"Or is it," Naruto asked with a sly smile. 'I hope this works,' he thought, 'I've never tried it before

Naruto's kunai exploded as they hit the ground , creating a cover of smoke. 'I attached some explosive notes, but disguised them as ordinary kunai.' He vanished into the cover of smoke.

The fake leapt into the air,dodging the punch that came at him from behind. "Nice work, using the cover to appear behind me, but not good enough."

...

"Here's where you'll be staying," Namahagetecno said to Hinata, leading her into a comfortable looking room. "Sorry if it's a little too pink." The walls were painted pink, and the sheets on the bed were pink. Pink curtains hanging by the window. It really was _too pink!_

"Its fine," said Hinata, not wanting to offend her kidnapper. She noticed the TV and computer in the room. These people were awfully generous for kidnappers, what was going on? She turned to the opposite wall, it was lined with books and manga.

"Feel free to read or watch TV," said Namahagetecno. "You can even go online and email your friends if you'd like. DInner is at six, we're having sandwiches, but if you'd like a snack before that, feel free to ask." Namahagetecno smilked at Hinata as if she were a guest and not a captive. She struggled to calm her stomach and ease her fear.

Hinata decided to turn out the computer.

...

Namahagetecno turned to BoogiepopShippuden. "I'm glad this isn't cannon," said nama, "or else there would be crazy NamaHina shippers, wouldn't there?"

BoogiepopShippuden smiled, thinking about the absurdity that was the UlquiHime ship. "I swear to Kira, Bleach has some ships that are almost as crazy as Naruto," he laughed for a moment, but then let out a sigh. "I hope every thing goes well. I wish Naruto would show up already so we could fight with him. Of course, we haven't even sent the invatation yet. That will have to wait until he's a little stronger. And then we can kill him."

...

A/N: No offense to UlquiHime fans was intended.


	30. Intentional Vagueness

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

A/N: Writer's Block...ugh...can't do any faux fanfiction right now.

No offense to any one who writes stories about younger versions of the characters, I haven't actually read any.

Sorry the chapters are still so short, but if I don't do it this way, I'll keep putting it off and end up not updating it at all, like some of my other stories.

...

Naruto faced himself.

His copy stared back with a smile.

"You don't have the power it takes to beat me," said the fake. "If you use the kyuubi, you might stand a chance," he said teasingly, "but you won't have won of your own power. Then you'll never be as good a ninja as Sasuke."

"I'm better than Sasuke," Naruto insisted. "I beat him, remember?"

"Hah," scofed the fake, gazing upon the real Naruto with pity. "You won through luck not skill. Anyone can get lucky once in a while."

"It wasn't luck," insisted the real deal. "I won because I'm good."

He ran toward his opponent letting the shuriken fly through the air.

Metal clanged against metal as Naruto's shuriken met their own duplicate.

Naruto repeated the action allowing more shuriken to fly. 'Please let this work,' he begged. 'I have to win. I have to prove my strength here.'

The shuriken again clanged to the floor.

"What are you trying to do?" Demanded the fake. "You're just wasting time and shuriken." He reached into his pocket for more shuriken to counteract the latest batch of Naruto's ninja stars.

"I refuse to lose to you!" Screamed Naruto. "I don't even know who or what you are!"

"I'm you," said the fake, smiling peacefully. He waited for the clang of metal as the shuriken met. Instead, Naruto's shuriken sliced right through his. "What?" He gasped, leaping into the air.

Naruto followed his look-a-like.

"I have wind natured chakra," he explained. "I chakra charged my shuriken to slice through yours." He smiled as he planted his foot on the clone's back.

Naruto sent his look-a-like flying into the floor.

...

**Sasuke's Oneshot**

_"Look out," cried Sakura, noticing the enemy before any of the others._

_He wore a black mask and black cloak, his body was completely hidden. There was no actual guarantee he was even male. Nothing about this ninja stood out, not his appearance, not his looks. He used a simple kunai as his weapon, something any good ninja should have been able to dodge._

_The enemy's hand moved in a flash, aimed at Sasuke's head._

**...**

Jiraiya read the reviews for his latest chapter.  
He had gotten over thirty for this latest chapter, but only one really stood out on the page.

**Nurse Ramen**

**This chapter was beautiful. The look into their past was quite touching. You managed to make the characters seem like they actually were younger versions of themselves without making it cheesy, or turning it into a comedy. Most people can't seem to do that. They either make the characters seem too much like themselves or turn them into parodies of their true nature.**

Jiraiya smiled as he wrote his response.

**Thanks, that was my greatest concern as I went into the flashbacks.**

...

BoogiepopShippuden smiled as he monitored the activity of the fourth wall from his computer. "It seems he has arrived," he whispered, being intentionally vague about who had arrived just so that you could all get stuck wondering. "Now let the crossover begin."


	31. Guess he isn't That Emo After All

Disclaimner: I don't own Naruto I also don't own or Tsukiyomaru or Kitaisuru ni Gaara

**Important: In a few chapters, I plan to have things get really weird. This is a warning. They will get weird. Very weird.**

Naruto: God damn it this chapter is stupid!

* * *

**Sai's Story**

**Sasuke's Diary**

* * *

_Sai was the first through the door._

_"Do you really think we can find it?" Naruto asked, smiling mischievously._

_"Well, we have to!" Said Sakura as she pumped her fist through the air. "Sasuke-kun asked us to."_

_"So is it a sign of friendship that he trusts us enough to ask us to find it for him?" Sai asked, still not sure what to make of the situation._

_"Of course its a sign of friendship," Sakura answered. "It's a sign of trust too."_

_Naruto, Sakura, and Sai tore through the house, over turning whatever they could get their hands on._

_"But we're still going to read it, right?" Naruto asked evilly._

_"Of course, baka," sighed Sakura, "Why would we pass up the chance to read __Sasuke's Diary."_

* * *

_The four had left for a mission that day. Sasuke realized something. He had forgotten his precious diary. They'd be gone for four days, far too long to be without it. So he asked a favor of his friend's. "Please retrieve it."_

_They had been asked to deliver some crap to some dude some where, and Sasuke dubbed himself the most fit to watch over it. He was far too important to leave the package's side. While the other's felt peeved that Sasuke's self-glorification, they felt honored to be given the all important task of retrieving the diary. Of course, they all planned to read it._

* * *

_"Taju Kagebunshin no Jutsu!" Shouted Naruto, sending his shadow clones to do his dirty work. They tore through the house in an instant._

_"Found it," one cried out almost immediately._

_'Well, that was fast," Sakura commented. 'Damn, I wanted an excuse to go through Sasuke's underwear.'_

_"He's probably expecting us to find it quickly," said Naruto, dismissing his clones, "So we better hurry up and read it."_

* * *

_Sakura opened the book to its first page and read out loud. 'Wow, I never knew Sasuke had such girly hand writing._

_Dates Omitted for Security Reasons_

_**Dear Diary,**_

_**So, how are you? I'm not exactly sure what to write. I've never had a diary in my life. I went on another mission with my best friends today. Naruto, Sakura, and Sai. They're all so cool, but if I ever told them how cool I thought they were, that would make me look less bad-ass. And I have to look bad-ass or I'm just a whiny emo loser. And if I'm just a whiny emo loser than all the fan girls will go away.**_

_**I love my fangirls, I wish I could tell them that, but if I act interested, than they go away? Why! Girls are so damn confusing. I'll never get them. They want what they can't have, so I can't want them or they don't want me. But if I don't tell them how I feel, then I can't have the girl of my dreams! Maybe if I pretend to be using one of them while actually falling in love, that'll be okay...nah..they wouldn't like being treated like crap. What kind of girl would love a guy who treats her like crap?**_

_..._

_"So he does have a heart!" Naruto exclaimed, flabbergasted by the unexpected revelation, "And he thinks we're cool! Awesome! Dattebayo!"_

_"So he is in love with me!" Exclaimed Sakura, interpreting the entry as she saw fit._

_Sai felt it would be best not to correct her._

_'But if he thinks he's being nice to girls,' Sai wondered, 'I wonder what he considers being mean?'_

* * *

_**Dear Diary,**_

_**Oh my God! Ino smiled at me today! I love it when she does that. I wish I had the coursge to walk up to her and...**_

_**Sakura immediatly stopped reading and slumped over in the emo corner. Sai took over, reading the rest of the page out loud.**_

_**tell her I love her. She's so beautiful, I love girls with long hair, and hers is so pretty. I hope one day I'll have the courage to declare my feelings to her.**_

_"I thought he loved me," Sakura mumbled sadly._

* * *

_Sai continued on to the next page._

_**Dear Diary,**_

_**Went on another mission today, Naruto spent the entire time staring at Saskura's ass. I bet she'd be mad if she ever found out.**_

_Something inside Sakura's mind snapped. "Naruto-kun," she said angrily._

To Be Continued

* * *

Sai let the chapter end there, it wasn't his best work, but it would have to do. He had wanted to put something up before visiting Naruto in the hospital. 'I hope people will enjoy the plot twist I have planned,' he thought. 'I wonder if people will even read this. There are so many diary stories out there, and they're all much funnier then mine.'

...

Tsunade sighed, Naruto had been unconscious for about a day now, and he showed no signs of improvement. While this was weighing heavily on her mind, something else was bothering her even more. Shiki had delivered some of the most shocking news she ever heard.

"This world exists withing a fanfiction," the girl had explained. "While the events in this world will for the most part, influence what the author writes, the author will have some control over what happens in the story. Essentially, he has the ability to control things to a certain extent. Worse yet, he's the one after Hinata."

"So we have to fight someone who has partial control over existence itself?" Tsunade gasped in disbelief. "But how!?"

"Your only hope lies within Naruto!"

* * *

BoogiepopShippuden sighed as his head slumped onto the laptop. "Stupid writer's block. I have so many stories to update. Damn it, I'd rather just role play." But that wasn't an option. "Maybe I should consult Tsukiyomaru and Kitaisuru ni Gaara for help. They're really good. But Tsukiyomaru's been really busy lately."

He took out his journal and began to write. "I need a nap," he said finally, walking off to his bedroom.

He didn't notice Hinata walking around the place, exploring.

'Its his computer,' thought the kunoichi, heading toward the black laptop displayed casually on the table. 'What's this?' She wondered, picking up his journal. 'Is it a diary?' She considered the possibility. Opening the note book up, she was sure she had it right, all though, to be nitpicky, it was technically a journal. 'Why does his diary have a picture of Itachi on it?' Hinata wondered, although like I said, it was actually a journal. 'Maybe if I read his diary, I'll be able to figure out what his plan is!'

Hinata ran to her room, carrying the journal.

"I can't believe I found his diary!' She thought excitedly.

But it was actually a journal.

* * *


	32. Hello I am Line

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or FF dot Net

So for some reason, I can't write documents on my computer -.- But I can on FF dot Net. This means I have to use the crappy spell check that doesn't always work.

-Sighs-

I need a beta.

**Hello, I am Line. I Separate the Story because Kitaisuru ni Gaara's ****Line Separator Won't Work and I Feel DtecnoKira Wishes to**** Parody that. Seriously, isn't that Stupid? This Chapter is Messed up! Now he's Writing about his own Diary? W-T-F!? (Insert Emoticon) Please, Save Yourself now and RUN! R-U-N! Click the Back Button NOW! I Mean Now! Aren't You Listening!? Wow, I Thought You Would Have Skipped Over me by Now, but You're Still Reading! Are You That Bored? Wow, You Know What, Just Stop Reading me. Seriously, Skip Over me and Either Leave Now or Read the Story, up to You. Your Choice. Wow, Don't You Have Anything to do?**

Hinata frantically typed the email and sent it to as many people as she could, Neji, Shino, Kiba, Sakura, the Hokage, and her father. The content of the message was quite simple.

_I'm fine, don't worry too much about me. I don't know where I'm being held, but I'm being treated quite well. The person holding me captive is named BoogiepopShippuden, apparently he's an author on Fanfiction dot Net. I was fortunate enough to get my hands on his diary, I'm going to read it to see if I can figure out what his plan is._

* * *

Tsunade was struggling to wrap her mind around everything. "So we only exist in fanfiction?" She asked.

"No," Shiki explained, "We exist outside of fanfiction, but our story is a fanfiction in another world. So while what the author of that story writes has some control over our actions, our actions have some control over what that author writes. And its not happening in real time, just to be clear. His story isn't caught up with us yet, so that gives us a slight chance to evade his powers. But his mind itself has the ability to influence events in our world. So while he will be extremely difficult to beat, he is not invincible."

"I have to tell everyone," said Tsunade, hoping someone else could make more sense of this. "Wait, what if we do nothing but boring work? Then the author will lose interest and move on, and we'll be free from his control."

"That won't work, he'll just manipulate you all into doing something interesting, like fighting a couch."

"A couch?" Asked Tsunade, raising an eyebrow.

"Don't ask," Shiki pleaded. "I've read him do it."

* * *

'What is this,' wondered Hinata, flipping through the journal. 'Most of the entries are about someone named Tsuki, no idea who he is. ITsuki this, Tsuki that, blah, blah, does it ever end? And why is this diary in Japanese anyway? Isn't BoogiepopShippuden from America?' Hinata kept reading, searching for anything that could help.'

* * *

"So why did the author choose this universe?" Tsunade asked.

"He didn't choose," Shiki explained, "the connection just happened, and he came into this universe. There was no choosing, only luck."

Tsunade appeared saddened by this revelation.

"Don't be fooled into thinking that this universe is unimportant. Many worlds affect others. Fanfiction authors talk to each other often, and affect each other through casual conversation. In a similar way, universes often cross paths and affect each other. I'm sure that BoogiepopShippuden has some plan or another to affect other worlds. It won't be dramatic, but thats his plan."

"Wait," Tsunade asked. "We're all writing our own Fanfiction. So by affecting our world, isn't he subsequently affecting all those worlds?" Tsunade asked.

"I never thought of that," Shiki admitted, "But it makes the most sense. Now the only question is, _how _does he wish to affect the world?"

* * *

Hinata stopped at a page that looked promising.

_I read a story called **Second Best** by **MikiStatic **today. It was really good. It was about Hinata longing for Naruto while watching him from afar. Doesn't that girl understand that unless she does something, she'll never be anything but second best. Sakura will always be Naruto's number one unless Hinata can do something about it! God Hinata, tell him how you feel!_

'I wish I could,' she thought sadly, blushing at the thought.

_So, I read **the room** by **elemental chaos**. Its about characters talking to their inner selves. It seems really good, but chaos-san needs to update soon. Maybe more reviews would help._

It wasn't nearly as important as she'd hoped, so Hinata turned the page again.

_**Spidey3000 **needs to update **Legend of the Icy Hot Ninja **soon. I'm going crazy. I can't wait until he starts **Icha Icha Bloodlines **a Kekei Genkai that makes people lust after each other? ROFLMBBO_

Hinata assumed that ROFLMBBO stood for Rolling on floor laughing my bum bum off.

She kept searching for something important. Finally, she founfd it.

* * *

Naruto struggled to breath. He had gained the upper hand agaionst his clone for a few moments, but soon found himself on the receiving end of a series of painful attacks.

"You can't win," laughed the clone. "I'm you, but better."

Naruto clenched his fists together. "Oh yeah?"

**Hello, I am Line. I Separate the Story because Kitaisuru ni Gaara's ****Line Separator Won't Work and I Feel DtecnoKira Wishes to**** Parody that. Seriously, isn't that Stupid? This Chapterwas short wasn't it? Nothing important happened at all.**

Hello, I am To Be Continued.

I tell you the story is not over so you know there will be a next chapter.


	33. Sorry its so Short Again

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

Gah, writer's block!

Remind me to fix the founfd it typo in the last chapter.

Oh and I know interactive stories aren't allowed, but I can't decide between LeeTen and NejiTen.

Please help!

...

Itachi stared at the blank screen, unsure what to type.

God I hope this hasn't been done before...but I'm sure it has.

**Itachi's Poem**

The only one I ever loved

I held deep in my heart

A sacred space I kept for you

Is now tearing me apart

I think of you as I do this

Thing I wish not but that I must

I pray one day you recover from

The broken shattered trust

Blood stains my hands

Grief stains my soul

And now your heart

Is an empty hole

I am so sorry but I

Have no one else to blame

I am the only one

Who caused you this suffering and shame

I hope one day soon

You will grow strong

So that you may slay me

and right this horrid wrong

My dearest Sasuke though it pains me so

I hope you never learn the truth of this all

For surely then

You would fall

...

Itachi looked at the poem, unsure wether or not to send it. An account had already been set up for him, so there was no two day waiting period to worry about, but it seemed cheesy.

...

Naruto and his clone ran at each other, swinging their fists. Both punches met, and their was an obvious winner. Pain shot up the real Naruto's arm, causing him to involuntarily for a split second, long enough for the clone to get behind him.

"Rasengan!"

...

Itachi blunk for a moment, then sent his work, hoping people would be kind.

...

A young boy watched over the hidden leaf village from a distance. His short brown hair was a mess, and so were his torn clothes, a yellow turtle neck with rips and tears, and blue jeans with many patched. He was only twelve, yet their was something sinister about him. "So this is where Shiki is."

...

**So what, I need like, 700 more words?? Damn it!**

Naruto: Quit complaining!

Sakura: Yeah, get a life.

...

Shikamaru still couldn't believe what Mimi was asking him to do. "I have to what?"

"Instead of actually writing fanfiction, you have to help make it. You're going to play matchmaker!" Mimi answered with a smile. "But we have our priorities, you've gotta figure out how to shove Tenten with one of her teammates. Its up to you to decide who though.

"But, I can't decide something like that!" Shikamaru protested.

"Maybe you should let fans decide," suggested Mimi.

"You mean with a poll?" Shikamaru asked, "That could work, but I think I'll try writing some fanfiction first, some NejiTen and LeeTen, and see how it works. Maybe then I'll do a poll."

Mimi let out a sigh. "Fine, just be quick though. We need you guys to hook up soon."

"Why?" Shikamaru asked lazily.

"Well you see," though Mimi did explain it, this is where I cut off and leave you hanging.

:p Nothin' you can do about it!

...

BoogiepopShippuden sighed. The plan was working perfectly, but the waiting game was killer. How long would it take?

Not to mention his favorite authors hadn't updated in a while.

Spidey still had writer's block, Tsuki was busy. Sure Sei or whatever the hell her name was at the moment was updating a lot, but those chapters were all really short. 'And people complain about how little I write. At least they don't have to wait a month just for me to update...speaking of that, once the reader's get this far, I wonder how much more breaking of the fourth wall they'll be able to take.'

He wasn't referencing the actual wall, just the metaphorical wall. The one he loved to break in this story...oh hell, we know its a self insert at this point, should I just call him me? Nah, that would feel to awkward on my end.

So as BoogiepopShippuden continued to do pointless things to increase the chapter length, he let out a sigh. 'At this point, Hinata should have found my journal. I hope she reads it. If not, I can always influence her.' BoogiepopShippuden lazily turned on his computer, hoping for interesting news.

"Why do they always post when I'm offline?"

...

Hinata continued reading the journal. "Thois is what they're planning?" She gasped in horror. "I have to warn Naruto."

**Hello, I am Line. I am back. Sorry this chapter was so short, but DtecnoKira needs to go now, and it is important that he submit this before tomorrow. To extend the length of the chapter, we bring you POINTLESS FILLER**

Fourth Hokage: Naruto, I have something to tell you.

Naruto: Dadyy? You're alive.

Fourth Hokage: Wait, you knew?

Naruto: Duhttebayo!

...

Sakura: Naruto, Hinata loves you, I love Sasuke...even a dobe like you should be able to figure out waht to do.

Naruto: Chase after you pointlessly and endlessly?

Sakura: Dobe!

...

Sasuke: I'm not emo, I'm misunderstood.

Sai: Do you even have a penis?

Sasuke: Wanna see?

Sai:...okay.

...


	34. Sorry, Is this Better?

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

Sorry that last chapter sucked, here's a hopefully better one.

I'll try to update Truth or Dare soon.

Oh, and did I misuse teme and dobe last chapter?

Warning, perverted humor in this chapter.

EDIT: Damn, I wrote Sai instead of PH.

...

**Sai's Interview Story**

_PH: For today's guest, we have with us today, Tsunade, Kakashi, Gai, Kurenia, and Shizune. We tried to get Anko in, but she says she doesn't share the spotlight, hopefully she'll join us some day though._

T_sunade: Enough about Anko, I don't have all day, so let's get this over with._

_PH: Okay, first of, how old are you really? And how ugly do you look with out your disguise?_

_Tsunade: What the (Bleep)? Who taught you your manners kid? I outta have the ANBU execute you on the spot._

_PH: Eep, it was just a question, everyone wants to know!_

_Tsunade: Tell me...who is everyone?_

_PH: Nobody._

_Tsunade: Tell me now or I'll (Bleep) your (Bleep)!_

_PH: It was Sai, he asked me to do it!_

_Tsunade: Shizune, remind me to kill Sai._

_Shizune: Good one Tsunade... you are joking right?_

_Tsunade: Maybe._

_PH: Okay, Tsunade. You were on the same squad as Orochimaru when you were younger. Did he ever show any interest in girls?_

_Tsunade: Orochimaru? Showing interest in girls? He's as straight as the leaf Symbol on a Konoha headband._

_PH: So he's gay?_

_Tsunade: Why do you think he wanted Sasuke so badly?_

_PH: Well, we've all heard rumors, but we were coming to you for conformation._

_Tsunade: Well I confirm it. Orochimaru's is gay He used to hit on Jiraiya all the time._

_PH: Really? Tell me more!_

_Tsunade: Well, once, we were on a mission, e were short on sleeping bags, so he tried to share one with Jiraiya!_

_PH: That doesn't really sound that gay._

_Tsunade: Later on we found out that Orochimaru hid one of the sleeping bags on purpose._

_PH: Now that sounds gay._

_Kakashi: Excuse me? Do you have any questions for me? There's a new Icha Icha out and I'd like to spend some quality time with my hand._

_PH: I did not need to hear that!_

_Kakashi: Can I go now?_

_PH: No. I want to know why the (Bleep) you're so (Bleep)ing obsessed with (Bleep)ing Sasuke! You ignore Naruto and Sakura just so you canhang out with Sasuke. Are you some sort of gay pedo with a thing for him._

_Kakashi: Not at all, he just reminds me of my friend Obito...Obito is dead._

_PH: You know, there's like a forty percent chance that Tobi is actually Obito being possessed by Uchiha Madara who is also the Mizukage?_

_Kakshi: What!? Obi-kunm, I'm coming._

_-Dashes off-_

_PH: I bet he used to say that all the time._

_Shizune: Ewwww...do you even know how young they were back then._

_PH: What, Obito seems like the kind of person who would always need kakashi's help. And Kakashi would probably tease him about it._

_Shizune: Oh..that's what you meant._

_PH: What did you think I meant?_

_Kurenia: If this is how its going to be, I'm leaving._

_PH: Oh no you're not. You don't get to go until we ask about the baby. What are you going to name it?_

_Kurenai: Not sure yet._

_PH: Is it Asuma's?_

_Kurenai: Who else could the father be?_

_PH: Kakshi, Gai, Hiashi, Shikamaru..._

_Kurenai: What the (Bleep) is wrong with you._

_PH: Well, with all the screen time you two got, for all we know, you're actually cousins._

_Kurenai: And cousins have sex? And if you mke a joke about the Uchihas, I swear to Jashin I'll murder you with m,y Yaoi based Genjutsu!_

_PH: We don't know that you and Asuma have been having sex._

_Kurenai: How the (Bleep) do you think I got pregnant?_

_PH: We didn't know that Asuma was the father!_

_Kurenai: How can you not know? It's so (Bleep)ing obvious!_

_PH: We all suspected it, I'm just trying to confirm it!_

_Kurenia: Well, consider it confimrmed. I'm leaving!_

_-Kurenai Storms Out-_

_PH: Wow, how many people am I going to piss off today? I hope I can set a personal record!_

_Gai: I really must be getting back to training with Lee, so ask me your questions and i shall answer them with YOUTH!_

_PH: So, do you like girls?_

_Gai: Define 'like.'_

_PH: Are you sexually attracted to them.  
_

_Gai: No._

_Shizune: ZOMG! So the rumors are true!_

_Gai: I may be a fan of YOUTH but I am not a pedophile. I love women! big breasts are the best! Youth!_

_Shizune: So that's what you meant...how dissapointng._

_PH: Are you a Yaoi fan, Shizune?_

_Shizune: OMG totally! SasuNaru is the best, but so is SaiNaru, SasuSai, NaruKono, ShinoKiba, SasuKiba..._

_PH: Okay okay, we get it, you love the idea of little kids having sex._

_Shizune: No, that's not it. I love KakaIru and KakaGai too!_

_Gai: Did you just say you like me as uke? I'm stronger than Kakashi! I'm seme!_

_PH: Now this is interesting._

_Gai: I mean, I would be. If I was gay._

_Shizune: How disappointing._

_PH: Okay, looks like you're going to claime you're het. Guess i won't ask about Lee._

_Gai: What about Lee?_

_Shizune: OMG! I forgot, I love GaiLee and GaaLee too. And GaaNaru._

_PH: I prefer Yuri. My favorite is TsunaShizu._

_Tsunade: What! That's it, ANBU, GET HIM!_

_-ANBU Agents storm the room.-_

_PH: Kuso!_

...

Sai felt proud of his work and so he submitted it. 'I should work on my Truth or Dare story next, but I want to update my ask fic too. But I need a few more questions.'

...

Hinata sent the warning to Naruto. 'I hope he gets it in time. Please Naruto, don't try to rescue me. If you do then they'll..'

That's when her door was thrust open, and BoogiepopShippuden stormed in.

"You stole my diary..I mean, journal?" He asked, worried.

Hinata turned to him and glared angrily. It was out of character, but she was that mad. "I won't let you use me as bait for your evil game." She threw the book at hif feet. "If you didn't want me to read your diary, maybe you shouldn't have left it lieing around."

"Maybe I wanted you to read it," BoogiepopShippuden said with a slight smile.

Hinata's resolve wavered a little.

'Could that really be it?' She wondered nervously. 'Oh no, what have I done.' She rushed toward her computer and tried to send another email to Naruto-kun, warning him about the first email. She got the oddest error message she'd ever seen a computer give.

_Too bad Hinata, I'm not letting you do that. You've lead Naruto straight into my trap. Thanks for your help_

Hinata frowned at first, then her face scrunched up into a scowl. "It won't work," she promised. "Naruto-kun and the others will survive your trap. They won't die so easily."

"Maybe not. But they will die. Or at least, Naruto will." BoogiepopShippuden was sure of this.

**(Author's Note: Regarding the Ask Fic, Don't worry, I cthink I have enough questions to work with.)**


	35. Sasuke's Diary The Big Secret!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or FF dot Net

I still have writer's block for that damn Truth or Dare Story!

So ummmm I now have an account on fictionpress. So I may be a bit busy, and this could mean less updates.

* * *

**Sai's Story**

**Sasuke's Diary**

* * *

_Sakura cracked her knuckles angrily, glaring at Naruto with murderous intent. "Naruto?"_

_"Sa-sa-Sakura-chan, calm down, I promise I never looked at your butt, Sasuke must have been imagining thing! Despite his protests, Naruto was viciously clobbered by an angry kunoichi. "Please, show some mercy!" He begged. It was all in vain._

_Sai ignored the fight between his friends and continued reading Sasuke's diary._

_**Dear Diary,**_

_**I'm tired of blue, blue is boring. At least it isn't as bad as pink. Pink is really starting to annoy me. I mean, before, it used to be a color that I just didn't like. Now I HATE it. Its because of Sakura and that stupid pink hair! Its annoying! I wish she would dye it something reasonable, like blond. Now blond is a good hair color, I like blondes. Blondes with long hair are the prettiest.**_

_Sakura stopped pummeling Naruto, the sadness in her heart began to well up, bringing a single tear to her eye._

_Naruto began to plot his next move. 'Yes, this means that Sasuke doesn't like Sakura, so she'll be sad, and I can comfort her and make her mine!'_

_Inner Sakura snapped. "That's it, once we get back from the mission, that Ino pig is MINE! She'll pay for this!"_

_Sai looked up from the diary for a moment. "Pay for what? Being blond? Isn't that her natural color?"_

_"You're a genius Sai!" Sakura said happily. "All I have to do is dye Ino's hair pink, then dye mine blond, and Sasuke-kun will love me! He'll have no choice but to love me."_

_Sai turned back to the diary._

_**Dear Diary**_

_**I really want to ask Ino out, she's so beautiful. But every time I try I just get sick. I have trouble talking to pretty girls, I get so nervous I feel like I'm going to vomit. Talking to Sakura is much easier, I think its because she looks like a boy.**_

_Sakura hung her head low in shame._

_**Dear Diary**_

_**I thought Naruto might be getting stronger, but he proved me wrong today. I had to save his ass again! I'm starting to wonder if he even has a (Bleep)!**_

_Steam began to pour out of Naruto's ear. "What! Why is everyone obsessed with my (Bleep!?)"_

_**Dear Diary**_

_**I had another nightmare about Orochimaru. I swear to God, the entire time I was there, I thought he was planning to rape me in the middle of the night! That dude is such a pedophile! I bet Kabuto has to use jutsu in the bedroom just to keep Orochimaru interested. Those two are sooo gay for each other.**_

_"Can't deny that," said Naruto._

_"Agreed," Sakura added._

_"Definitely," Sai finished._

* * *

_Sasuke sat under the shade of a tree, watching the birds fly in the sky. 'I wonder how long those idiots will take to get back with my diary,' he wondered. 'I bet they're all reading it right now, and they're probably too stupid to figure out that its all a lie.'_

* * *

Sai posted the next chapter of his story, hoping the plot twist would entertain readers.

While he was online, he checked out his reviews for his Interview story. Just as expected, OrochimaruisNotgay, had left a flame.

* * *

OrochimaruisNOTgay

\/\/1-147 15 \/\/1201\16 \/\/171-1 U U12 57UP1cl! 0120c1-111\/1412U 15 1\107 64Y!

* * *

(Translated for your convenience)

What is wrong with you? You are stupid. Orochimaru is not gay!

Sai laughed at the flame. Now began the wait, soon OrochimaruisNOTgay would read the new chapter of Sasuke's diary and see the jokes about Orochimaru there. Surely this would enrage him.

Sai couldn't contain his excitement.

* * *

Naruto lay on his back, having been beaten to the ground by his clone.

"You can't win," said the other Naruto. "I am better than you in every way. You'll die, and you'll let all your friends down. Everyone who is counting on you will be disappointed. Especially poor Hinata-chan, she's counting on you to save her, you know."

Naruto quickly forced himself to his feet. "That's right, Hinata's in danger, that's why I cannot lose," he boasted.

* * *

The path was dark, with little light to illuminate the way. An orange haired boy walked in the darkness, trying to make out his path. A girl with short black hair followed closely. They were both dressed in black robes; _shihakuso._

"Hurry up, Ichigo," complained the girl.

"I'm going as fast as I can, Rukia. I can barely see. Why do we even need to do this anyway?"

"Because a friend asked us."

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach

TO BE CONTINUED!

Crap this is still to short.

I have an idea, lets continue the story right now.

* * *

Orochimaru let the hot water run over his naked body. The steam felt so relaxing. The bathroom door creaked open as Kabuto stepped inside.

"Master Orochimaru, you have a private message from an author named BoogiepopShippuden."

Orochimaru slowly turned to his young partner. "Kabuto," he said slowly, before speaking at full speed. "This is why even the Yaoi haters call us both gay! Why do you always have to spy on me in the showere?"

"Well, I am your doctor. Its not like I don't see you naked all the time."

* * *

To be continued

Oh dear God, I really need to end Naruto's fight with himself. Who do you guys want to win? Naruto or Naruto?

J/K

Anyway, maybe I should do a preview or something?

Next time on Naruto Online--Actually, I have no clue whats going to happen.

I have serious writer's block with the truth or dare! Any advice?

* * *


	36. Keep the Flying Monkeys Away, Please

Sorry I haven't updated in forver, but like I said, major writer's block, so don't expect constant updates.

Disclaimer; I don't own Naruto or Bleach.

Oh, and to the flamer who left a death threat, get a freakin life.

And to the reviewer who mentioned the Flying Monkeys, lol, thanks for reminding me to update. LMAO!

Sorry its so short, but anything is better than nothing, right?

OKay, this chapter will give you some insight into the way the parallel universes work.

**NOTICE: I played around with the writing style again using a more conversational style. I hope it doesn't suck. Oh, and all of my allies are real authors.**

Also note, the return of the crap fic, Orochimaru has returned!

* * *

Sai finally did it, he wrote another chapter to the Truth or Dare Story!

he double checked his work, looking for errors. he found a few but completely missed others, likeCOuld and Hinataa. And yes I realize the irony of writing a sentence about typos forgetting to capitalize the first word, but I'm too lazy to fix it, and this is a crack fic, so let's just all enjoy the irony okay? Irony is good, I like irony. Why does the spellcheck think okay is a misspeled word? Err...moving along.

* * *

**_Truth or Dare_**

_Sasuke cringed, who would he choose? Who could he choose? Someone he knew would do anything to save him? Or someone he knew was good enough to complete the dare? "I pick Naruto," Sasuke told the voice. "He would never let me down because.."_

_"You're the love of his life?" Concluded the voice._

_"Get your ass down here you yaoi loving bastard! I pick Naruto because he'd never let me die when he knows how much it would hurt Sakura!" He shouted with fury._

_"Damn, calm down emo boy," ordered the voice. "It was just a joke. You have no sense of humor."_

_At that moment, Naruto returned wearing his tutu and a bright smile. "If all the dares are this easy, then this'll be a breeze." Strangely, he almost seemed to be enjoying this._

_The voice let out a high pitched laugh. "Wow, you are reall working that," he admitted. "Thirty points for you Naruto. Anyway, lets get down to business. You see, Sasuke's a big chicken who doesn't want to do his dare, so you have to do one for him or else he dies."_

_"Sure," Naruto said happily, "I'll save his ass. I guess now we know why Sasuke's hair looks like a chicken's butt, its because he is a chicken," he laughed at his own joke, not realizing how badly phrased it was._

_"Okay," said the voice. "You have to kiss one of the Sakura," instructed the voice. "the more passionate, the more points you and Sasuke will get._

_Naruto smiled, "That's it?" he waltzed over to Sakura, ready to plant one on her lips._

_"Don't look so happy," she barked. "I'm only doing this for Sasuke."_

_Naruto's lips met Sakura's and he couldn't be happier. It was like as if his life were finally complete, a joyful warmth wshed over his body as he melted into a puddle of joy._

_"Thirty points for you and Sasuke!" Said the voice happily, now pick the next victim._

_Everyone had been so focused on the kiss, that nobody had noticed until now. As naruto looked around the room, he came to a startling realization. "Where's Hinata?" He asked. The Huyuuga heiress had gone missing. She fled the scene, not wanting to watch the kiss._

_"So you pick Hinata?" Asked the voice evilly, knowing fully well that Naruto hadn't. Well, it seems she isn't here, so if she's not back in five minutes, she forfeights and dies."_

_"What!?" I didn't pick her!" Naruto shouted angrily._

_"You bastard!" Growled Kiba, angered at the thought of his teammate being killed by an invisible voice._

_"I suppose I can permit one of you to look for her, but only one, and I get to pick...I choose Chouji!"_

_But this was a problem, they had no idea where Hinata had run off to, and Chouji was slwo...could he really do it? COuld he find Hinata in time._

_"Don't worry guys," said the chubby ninja, "I'll find her, just let me go make a snack first," he said as he walked toward the kitchen._

_"Get your ass into gear and go find Hinataa!" Kiba demanded._

_"Don't rush me," Chouji said angrily. "Snacks are important. They are often the best way to help with a saddened heart._

_"What are you talking about?" Asked Kiba, confused by Chouhi's words."_

_"Why do you think Hinata ran away in the first place?" Shikamaru asked, hoping he and Chouiji wouldn't be forced to explain things to their idiot comrades._

**TBC**

* * *

BoogiepopShippuden (AKA Me), read Kabuto's newest lemon, cringing in disgust. 'Dear God,' he thought to himself, 'I get that Orochimaru uses snakes, but can't he think of any other euphemisms to use?' He began to gag as he prayed for the end. 'Why do I have to read this? Can't I get someone else to do it for me?' He held his stomach in pain, trying not to puke. But no, he had to do it. Whatever these idiots wrote he had to read. It was all part of his master plan. He had to know what was going on in all their heads. It was the only way to manipulate the universes to his will.

His friends Tsukiyomaru and NekoDoodle both approached him, though in this univerese they had taken on the personas of OCs. At the time, NekoDoodle had a different penname, but that was so long ago she had changed it about half a dozen times since then.

Neko had hair that looked like Sakura's minus the bangs, thanks to some freak accident with chemicals or some crap I'm too lazy to look up, they were now neon yellow.

Tsuki, who agreed to help with the plans, decided to overcomplicate things by giving his character a backstory. So umm he's an Espada, they're from Bleach, look them up if you haven't seen the show. he had spiky white hair, glasses, black gloves, blue jeans and some other stuff. When Tsuki created his OC persona, he created his own parallel universe. In that world he was the former 4th Espada, meaning he was the fourth strongest. Then the canon character Ulquiorra came along and stole his job. So he left to join me, because we're friends, and I needed help for my somewhat evil plans.

Marty joined us, uttering about something insignificant. "This is taking forever, why don't we just help Naruto beat himself already?"

Tsuki answered this question with a smile, "if we interfere, then our plan won't work. So we just have to wait patiently."

BoogiepopShippuden turned to NekoDoodle, "So, Sei no Gaara, are the preparations complete?" It was her penname at the time, but since then she had changed it many, many, many, many times.

"Yeah," she answered, "I'm ready to set things into motion."

BoogiepopShippuden smiled, "Thanks for helping with my plan. I was surprised you agreed, considering you hate, "

Insert cheesy noise to block sound here. Seriously, you don't get to know our plans yet, that comes later. Way later.

"Well, once I'm done helping you, I've got plans of my own."

* * *

Hinata sat at her computer, trying to write.

* * *

Mild Pervy PG-13 Content **WARNING! WARNING! ****WARNING!  
**

**Orochimaru's Story**

_Tsunade cried tears in her office. She was sad because Jiraiya had died. So she locked herself up and stopped seeing anyone. But Orochimaru snuck into the village and into the Hokage's office. he appeared before her, looking smexy because he's hot._

_Tsunade's tears stopped, because she was having an orgasm just looking at him.It was like super hot and sexy eye sex. "Orochimaru-sama, why are you here?" She asked._

_"I have come for you because I desire a woman and no other is as beautiful as you." He said. This made Tsunade very happy._

_Just then Anko walked in and saw and was turned on. "Wow Tsunade, you are lucky, Orochimaru is so hot."_

_Orochimaru smiled, "I have an idea, why don't we have a threesome?" The two hot girls agreed and the three hot people made out._

**_The End_**

* * *

Orochimaru smiled. "This is my best story yet!"

**Hello, I am Line. I Separate the Story because this chapter is over and DtecnoKira just used the line inserter so he thought it would be boring to just use it again. Plus, I am a running gag.**

To Be Continued

Sorry if things in this chapter were a little too weird.


	37. Another Flamer! And Hinata's BLEEP

Author's Note: I don't know if there actually is a jerk going around flaming people, considering how mean and insensitive some buttholes are I can only guess there are. And since there may be some people out there who do nothing but flame, I can only guess that they may include the word flame in their name. So if the new author introduced happens to resemble any existing authors in anyway, that was unintentional, but I do not apologize. If you're actually like that, then you're mean and need a life.

Anyway, again, if the jerk in this story resembles any actual puss filled boils on this site, then that wasn't intended, I just tried to create someone who seemed like a piece of crap, any resemblances to actual diarrhea eaters is strictly coincidental.

Gah I am not liking this chapter so much.

Anyway, I'm starting school so **I WILL BE BUSY!**

* * *

Orochimaru was outraged, why this review was even worse than the crap that PennameHere was always comiong up with. The vulgarities would make even that jerkwad Sai blush! How could anyone be so cruel? Orochimaru was almost in tears, the review was so mean, I'll spare you from reading the worst of it.

_FlamingUp_

_This oozing rectal wart you try to pass off as a story was the worst thing I have ever read in my life. It's short, lacks detail, and has everyone completely out of character. It isn't even good enough to pass as a crack fic. It seems almost as if you write this story by taking a dump on your keyboard and allowing your magical turd to do all the work for you. I once had a wart on my (bleep) that leaked blood and it could have written something better than this. Keep on writing this crap, I look forward to having something to flame. Stuff like this piece of ass waste is the only reason I get up in the morning._

Orochimaru kept crying as he read the rest of the review. _'I'm going to use that new computer virus Kabuto created, the one that kills.'_

* * *

Sai checked out the newest review for his Truth or Dare story.

He remained emotionless as he read the review.

_FlamingUp_

_Is this piece of filth what you call humor? I haven't laughed this hard in...wait, I ws not laughing at all at this humorless piece of fecal matter. It is a dingleberry desperately clinging to the anus of this site. I hope you do the right thing and remove it sometime soon, it is not a pretty sight. _

Sai began plotting in his sick and twisted ninja mind.

* * *

Kabuto collapsed on his bed, crying rivers of tears. How could anyone be so mean?

_FlamingUp_

_This story makes me want to vomit and then write a 50,000 word essay on the vomit. Undoubtedly, my essay will be less sickening to read then this poorly written lemon. Sure, Orochimaru uses snakes, we get it, at least use some other euphemism at some point or this story will get boring. Oh wait, it did. Not that it would have been good anyway, seeing as you have the writing talent of a three year old llama._

_'You will pay,' _thought Kabuto.

* * *

FlamingUp sat at home at his computer, scratching his itchy behind. The thirty-year-old man was laughing at the things he had written,. thinking that he was being funny in some way. Really, he was just being a jerk.

"Do you want some dinner?" His mom called out.

"No thanks," he answered back.

He thought life wasn't going too bad, but things were about to go horribly wrong for him.

"Oooh, an email!" He gasped excitedly, reading the subject title: Hot Anime Henati!

He clicked on it excitedly, hoping for something good. What he got was a virus. His screen flashed brightly, entrancing him. It was a deadly new computer virus, the graphics were capable of causing your nervous system to shut down, thus killing you. He could tell the end was coming. That's when someone saved his life. Namahagetecno appeared out of nowhere, tackling him to the ground.

"Who are you?" FlamingUp asked, thankful to have been saved. "Thanks for saving me.

"My name is Namahagetecno," he said with a smile.

"You mean you're..." The man gasped in fear.

"Yeah, the guy you flamed. I only saved you so that I could hurt you badly..."

The man's screams of pain echoed throughout the night.

* * *

Namahagetecno returned to the hideout, smiling.

"So how did it go, Nama?" BoogiepopShippuden asked.

Nama simply smiled and said, "I had fun. So is it tea time?" He asked.

BoogiepopShippuden nodded.

* * *

Hinata heard her door open, she turned her head to see Namahagetecno there, holding a cup of tea. "I brought this for you," he said, setting it on her dresser. "It's really good," he said, "you should try some."

"Thank you," she said, standing up to grab the cup. Her steps were awkward, as if she wasn't putting all of her effort into moving. Her eyes were watery, she was about to cry. She kept moving but tripped, landing in Nama's arms. She buried her head in his chest, sobbing. "Please, I know what you're trying to do, don't hurt Naruto," she begged. "If he got hurt because of me I would never forgive myself," her tears kept falling to the floor.

Namahagetecno sighed, she was really starting to get to him. That's when he noticed something wrong. Nama pushed Hinata into a wall, causing her to poof. "Damn," he swore, "she was a kagebunshin. She must have been practicing while she was locked up. So where's the real one?"

He ran out of the room, determined to find the missing kunoichi.

"What's wrong?" NekoDoodle asked as she saw Namahagetecno running by.

"Hinata's escaped and we need to find her!" Nama called back.

"I'll get right on it." She answered.

* * *

Hinata had snuck out of the headquarters through shear luck, and now she was running for der life, darting through the forest. _'I have to get back to Konoha,' _she thought desperately to herself. _'I can't let Naruto get hurt trying to save me.'_

* * *

**TBC- Whenever I feel Like! :P  
**

Sorry it wasn't that great, and there weren't any stories this chapter, just flames. But we did get some progress in the main story. So that's good, right?

**ADVERTISEMENTS**

A friend of mine has started another story about Naruto characters writing fanfiction, and hers is even more random. She changed her penname a lot, so I'll just say the story is called Naruto: Fanfiction war!

And if you like Bleach and would like more information on Tsukiyomaru's OC, check out Shattered Moon. It tells the stopry of how we met...

Both stories can be found under in my list of favorites.


	38. GOOD ByeNot!

_Author's Note_: _I'm sorry but I don't know how to continue this story, I just that I don't have anything to write about._

That was what Chouji wrote and uploaded to his story, he was completely out of ideas. Kiba did something similar with his story. It seemed that a chronic case of writer's block was going around, and nobody was safe.

* * *

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.**

**Sorry for the lack of updates, its school.....school.**

**Anyway I'm running low on jokes, so we might go with a string of fight based chapters until I get back into the swing of things. Oh and the Fanfiction will be back in full eventually, for now we'll just go with Sai's stories. Also, I apologize if any of the jokes come off as offensive, they weren't meant to be.  
**

* * *

In fact, it seemed like Sai was the only one still writing anything. Most of the others were too busy preparing to rescue Hinata. Of course, due to certain plot hol...errr certain conditions unique to the situation, they were all waiting for Naruto to get better first. But he was still in a coma.

At this rate, Hinata might make it back to the village before her rescue squad came to get her. Sadly, that would have messed with the master plan.

Still, she was determined. Ater all, she didn't want Naruto getting hurt in an attempt to rescue her. _'I have to tell get back to the village,' _she told herself. The thought echoed in hear head like a silent mantra. _'I can't let Naruto get hurt because of me.'_

_

* * *

_**Sai's Story **

**Sasuke's Diary**

_Sai continued to read the diary, wanting to see what Sasuke had written next._

_**Dear Diary,**  
_

_**Sai is unusual to say the least. First off, he looks like me, I think Orochimaru might have tried to clone me and that clone is Sai. I could be wrong though, he's too ugly to be MY clone. I'm so pretty, I can't believe it sometimes. i should get a beautiful girlfriend, but she would have to be really beautiful, like Ino. Not someone ugly like Sakura. Wow, sometimes I can't believe how ugly she is. She looks like a man!**_

_Sakura hugged her knees as she sat in the corner of the room. "I do not look like a man." She told herself._

_"That's right, you look very pretty," Naruto lied._

_Sai ignored Naruto's desperate attempts to get lucky and instead continued reading the diary._

_**Dear Diary**_

_**What is up with the wy Sai dresses? He looks like a freaking girl! I mean, he looks like he could be a belly dancer or some sort of stripper in a strip club!**_

_"Sasuke-kun thinks I look like a girl?" Sai smiled. "I suppose that means he thinks I look pretty. I should make him something nice to say I like him too."_

_"Ummm, Sai, I don't think Sasuke was complimenting you."_

_"He wasn't?" Sai asked, confused. "But he said I look like a girl. So if saying I look like a girl isn't a compliment, does that mean he prefers men?"_

_"WHAT!"" Sakura shirked like an angered banshee. "Sasuke does not prefer men. He's straight, unlike the two of you!"_

_"What's that supposed to mean?" Naruto called out in anger._

_**Dear Diary,**_

_**Sai seems to be obsessed with Naruto's (Bleep!) I wonder if that means he's.....well, I wouldn't be surprised with the way he's dressed. Oh, I guess I shouldn't stereotype people like that, it's really wrong of me isn't it.**_

_Naruto and Sakura were both busy snickering._

_"Huh?" Exclaimed Sai. "I don't get it." he ignored the mild laughter and continued reading._

_**Well, if he is, then I guess at least that means Naruto can be happy with him. I swear to God one of the reasons I wanted to run away was just to get away from him. I mean, he's nice and all but I'm not into guys. Maybe I should have tried letting him down easily. **_

_"What the hell does that mean?" Shouted an angry Naruto. His eyes began to glow a dark shade of red.  
_

_"C-ha-c-c-ha-hahaha-calm down haha Naruhato," Sakura tried to get her words across, but they were swallowed up in her laughter._

_**I mean, what's up with the way he kept chasing after me for all those years? Sheesh, move on already!**_

_Naruto clenched his fist in anger. "he's so lucky Orochimaru's gone or I'd gift wrap his butt and mail him back to that snake creep."_

_Ignoring the comment, Sai moved on once more._

_**Dear Diary,**_

_**Oh My God! I can not believe what happened to me today!**_

**TBC**

**

* * *

**Sai posted his update before going to bed that night.

* * *

Hinata ran through the forest, basking in the light of the full moon. She heard the noise around her, the sounds of the three enemies tailing behind her.

"Found you," teased NekoDoodle as she dashed into Hinata's path. She raised her glove, revealing the senbon sticking out the back. _'These_ _senbon are poisoned, one prick and she won't be able to use any jutsu,' _NekoDoodle thought to herself. Her glove grazed Hinata's face, drawing a few beads of blood before, Poof!

The bunsin vanished in a puff of smoke.

* * *

**To Be Continued**

**Sorry its so short, I just couldn't think of much else to write at the time.**

**And if I don't update now, I might never again.  
**


End file.
